My girlfriend broke up with me today, I'm not sure if it's a real reason for a break up, if I want to get her back should I stop contact immediately?

[Beachead]

Hey Cman12,

Sorry you had to go through this.  I know the pain.

 Like the others have said, I believe she gave you a half-baked truth to spare your feelings.  This is about something else.  Whatever it is though, doesn't really matter because at the end of the day, she wanted to end it.

Something you should know is decisions to breakup don't spur overnight. It takes the person time to arrive to it but once they arrive to it..they know exactly why they're ending it.  It's not a mistake.  She experienced and took your best..laid it all out on a table and then evaluated whether it was for her, and she decided it wasn't.  This means who you are is not what she's looking for.  This is no fault of your own. There are many exogenous circumstances and reasons that contribute to why a person decided to do what they do. Maybe it has to do with the past.  Maybe an ex or past trauma.  Maybe its family or friends.  All of these things can affect how she feels about herself which affects her decisions.  Try as you might, you ultimately have very little control over that. 

What likely happened was she started to feel like she didn't want this for whatever reason.  She tried to push the feelings down but it didn't work.  Most people who dump deal with the guilt of knowing they'll have to hurt the person and that can begin to take a toll on the mind.  As well as this, they also battle doubts that they're making the right call.  Takes awhile to pull the trigger as a result.    By the time you started to notice something was off, she was well on her way to ending it (Maybe 90% over it.  The other 10% percent being detachment from spending everyday with you for a few months).  For most dumpers, there is a sense of relief that they no longer have to lie to their ex-partner.  So, if you contact her, you may remind her of all the things she doesn't want to think about right now and she may respond with coldness or silence.

As much as you say it was a mutual..it isn't.  Its evident that there is a part of you that has hopes that you can sway her while she is thinking about a future that excludes you.  For the moment, you two want different things.

Bottom line is, she knows exactly why she ended it and she knows in ending it with you, she's choosing someone else, whether he's already come into her life or not.  She's also accepting that she's letting you go, so that you can meet someone else. 

As I said, this wasn't an impulsive decision, so take it seriously.  We don't know what will happen in the future but right now, this is done.  Proceed on the now.  Proceed on what you know for sure.  Respect her decision to break up and disconnect from her on all levels.  Give her exactly what she wanted and let her sort it out on her own.    Do not entertain the thought of trying to win her back and don't try to use No-Contact as a means to manipulate her interest levels.  Unfriend/unfollow or even block her on social media, delete her number, get rid of her things.  Anything you see or are in contact with that has to do with her, will only serve to prolong your grieving process. 

 If she ever wants to contact you again..she has your number.  If you don't hear from her again, then that silence is all the answer you need to help you know, this wasn't meant to be.

- Beach

Edited February 20, 2020 by Beachead