Malin889 Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 So I went out on two dates with a guy about a month ago who I met online on FB dating. We really clicked, we are both sarcastic, had nice chats, got along really well. He is a good guy, older than me. He hasn't dated anyone in years. He got divorced 3 years ago after being married for 20 years. He said he’s old school, paid on the date, walked me to my car, we had fun. He was texting me consistently for days, and he kept initiating the texts. We went out on date #2, things went well, he drove me to my car after, we had a quick kiss, he texted me several times the day the next day after the date. Then I didn't hear from him for a couple days after date #2, no big deal. So then I got in touch with him a couple days later since he was always the one initiating, and asked him how his weekend was. He said he was sick with the stomach bug. Then I texted him a couple days later after I didn't hear from him and knew he was sick, he said he was feeling a little better, but just had to go for a root canal. We had a couple texts back and forth, then that was it. Neither one of us got back in touch after that. Nothing bad happened, it just ... fizzled..., and I don't feel any will ill towards him. I recently deleted all my online dating accounts because it got exhausting and frustrating. I decided a couple days ago to then go back on FB Dating but not on the other sites. I had to recreate my profile since I deleted it. The guy from above "liked" me right away after I signed back up, and I'm thinking, does he recall we went on a couple dates back in January? It wasn't THAT long ago, lol. So I decide to like him back. He then says "Good morning. I like your smile". Ok, again, does he remember who I am? I'm starting to feel insulted. I decide to play along. I make a joke about perfecting my smile, he then makes a joke back and says "have we met before"? Now I know he must be joking or playing some sort of fun game, right? I wasn't sure what to think. I explain that yes, we met before and remind him that we WENT OUT ON TWO DATES A MONTH AGO. This whole time I wasn't sure if he was joking or not. I said to him, "I didn't know where you were going with this, so I was just playing along." Then he says, "I thought so. I put my glasses on which always helps" and I said "Well, nice to "see you anyway" and he says back right away, "Yes, same." I didn't respond after that. I wasn't sure what to say to be honest. I liked him when we went out, and wanted to go out again, but when I didn't hear from him after his sickness and root canal, I just figured he wasn't interested in meeting up with me again. I've been on dates with several other online guys recently, and haven't connected with anyone else. The conversations online have been dull and it’s like pulling teeth. Except with him. Even our exchange the other day with him "forgetting" me was more interesting than other people. Should I message him back? I figured if he wanted to go out again, he would ask. Plus, I'm not sure if his messages were a joke or what, and it insults me a little to think even with his bad eyesight, he forgot me. But then again, if he really had that bad of eyesight, why would he "like" me and say I had a nice smile? He's wicked sarcastic so it's hard to tell what he was really thinking. He has (or had, anyway) my phone number if he wanted to get in touch with me. Thoughts? 1
rjc149 Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 Yeah this is why sarcastic people tend to bug the s*** out of me. You can't read them, it's like they can't just be straight with you. I have no idea why it's such an oft-touted character trait in online dating profiles. I've never known someone given to frequent sarcasm who wasn't passive aggressive, insecure, and a chore to deal with. Adult sexual/romantic interest is simply not expressed with a "quick kiss", unless the guy is seriously beta or a Mormon. OR, unless you pumped the brakes when he was trying to take things up a notch. Personally, I lose interest in a woman fast when she's being prudish at the end of the 2nd date. Time to cut bait. Regardless. If he was initiating all the texts and then just let it fizzle, he lost interest or never had it to begin with. Now, he could be feeling sheepish for not remembering, but he's also now messing with you. But if the sarcastic banter with him is the most romantic interaction you've had recently, then why not. See if you can have some fun with him too. 3
Miss Spider Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 Look, I totally get how hard it is to find a connection. And I can understand how when you finally do find it, you’d not want to let it go!!! But with that said, do you really want to date a guy who was so indifferent, a guy you made such little impression on, that he forgot he went on 2 dates with you?!? A guy who basically ghosted after giving some lame excuse after those two dates?? Side note: “Good Morning. I like your smile” is a p poor opener and the whole “i didn’t have my glasses on” thing didn’t seem like a joke. >.< Hope you don’t take offense, but he sounds lame... 4
JTSW Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 Honestly? It doesn't sound like he's interested and clearly forgot who you were. Don't waste your time on this one. 2
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 If you decide to message him, be prepared for more of the same poor treatment--if not worse. If you're okay with this, by all means contact him.
alphamale Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 this guy is one bottle short of a six pack, dump the chump
smackie9 Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 He's multi-dating. He gave you a shot, decided not to pursue it any further and ghosted. It's the way dating is. If they don't keep asking and planning other dates promptly, don't dwell on it by asking what happened. Just move on to the next guy.
Fletch Lives Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 A guy who went on two dates with you and does not remember you - how insulting! Maybe he is talking to a ton a women or is crazy. Stop settling. Save your dignity and block.
Author Malin889 Posted February 19, 2020 Author Posted February 19, 2020 5 hours ago, alphamale said: this guy is one bottle short of a six pack, dump the chump Ha, that’s funny! Thanks, I agree!
Author Malin889 Posted February 19, 2020 Author Posted February 19, 2020 4 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: A guy who went on two dates with you and does not remember you - how insulting! Maybe he is talking to a ton a women or is crazy. Stop settling. Save your dignity and block. Thanks, I did end up blocking him. I think he might be crazy lol. I remember on our first date he was so impressed about how “normal” I was because he encountered so many weirdos online. He seemed so nice and normal at the time but after not remembering the other day (or whatever that was) I realize what a jerk he is. Who says that??? I would never email a guy who I went on 2 dates with (just weeks ago) and then say have we met before?? Jerk. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 No, I wouldn't bother with this guy. He's not that interested.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 He is either making his way through so many women he barely recognizes one from the other, or he is negging you for kicks. Blocking him was the right call.
Author Malin889 Posted February 20, 2020 Author Posted February 20, 2020 3 hours ago, Scarlett.O'hara said: He is either making his way through so many women he barely recognizes one from the other, or he is negging you for kicks. Blocking him was the right call. God, if he is purposely negging me (I had to look that word up by the way), that’s pretty sick. I thought maybe he was just an a**hole, not a sick a**hole, lol.
Scarlett.O'hara Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 Yeah, it's awful. I just thought I'd mention it as a possibility because I've heard there a few "dating experts" out there who actually encourage men to use these tactics to increase their odds with women. It's probably more likely that he has just been looking at so many profiles and chatting to so many women he just doesn't pay that much attention. He just assumed it was a brand new profile without giving it much thought, until he started to realize, oops.. I think I've met her before!
kendahke Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 On 2/18/2020 at 7:18 PM, Malin889 said: He has (or had, anyway) my phone number if he wanted to get in touch with me. Which is why you need to get over him and go meet someone else. He doesn't want to get in touch with you.
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