Author freckles3131 Posted October 7, 2005 Author Posted October 7, 2005 It's disappointing that folks whose opinions I generally enjoy seem not to have read this brilliant piece of advice. You found the one bit about 'women being a challenge' and read it as though it was a post by a well-known LS misogynist. This is an entirely different thing. Reread this part because it is CRITICAL: I suggest that be changed to be 'when it comes to human beings, it's important'...etc. People cause themselves no end of grief by always imagining the worst of someone else. I see in on LS ALL THE TIME. *Not* doing that is not 'game-playing', it's learning to think logically and not, as he suggests, allowing your worst fears to overcome you and overtake your brain until you act in a way to drive them off. EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is why I posted it....it gave me a new, healthy, easier, less stressful way to look at things....
loony Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is why I posted it....it gave me a new, healthy, easier, less stressful way to look at things.... I did think it was a good post, I didn't agree with everything and I also think that most applies to men, too, but overall it was good to read.
helena abadi Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 whatever the origin of the source, it's good advice. to cut a looong post short, it is telling women to maintain their independence and look after their own needs first. no-one, man or woman, likes a clingy partner or a pushover. also, just because you feel a certain intensity of feelings in a relationship, there is no guarantee the other person feels exactly the way you do at exactly the same time. respecting their autonomy, and respecting their pace, takes sensitivity, insight and maturity. and it's a learning process. a looong one.
Outcast Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 But the tone of the article seemed to be that you can't expect unconditional love from a guy, so don't burden him with any of your negative feelings, ever. Wow. I didn't get that at all. What the gist was is that people ought to ensure that they have good reasons for whatever their emotions are rather than flipping out over everything. I'll take one of my favourite topics - porn. Women insist that their men 'prefer' the porn women over them - or insist on believing that - and then punish the men. The author urges people to not make assumptions, and especially not to become emotionally unbalanced over the assumptions one makes. Essentially, don't become judge, jury, and executioner unless you have proof that the person has done, thought, or said what you think he's done, thought or said. In terms of not loving unconditionally well nobody does anyway but certainly nobody wants to be with someone whose specialty is histrionics - yet we see on LS almost daily someone all in a lather over an assumption they've made about what their partner has done, said or thought. And that ain't no way to keep a relationship.
MassiveAtom Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 That is SO not alpha..... He tells men to act like men, and not be spineless dweebs. This brilliant lady is telling women to stop acting like emotional train-wrecks and always expecting the worst. sometimes wisdom is truly wasted. Excellent post BTW. kudos that's my 2mil
ReluctantRomeo Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Wow. I didn't get that at all. I think I was just being trigger happy that day I took exception to a couple of bits and maybe threw the baby out with the bathwater. Sorry! I guess the reason the OP seemed wrong to me is a personal viewpoint - I see the opposite case more often. I definitely agree that women - and men - need to manage their emotions better in relationships. But from where I sit (professional and intellectual environment), I see more problems stemming from too much intellectualisation, toughness, emotional control and repression, not too much emotional expression. I guess there's a balance. And the OP rightly and correctly addresses the side I have seen less often. Essentially, don't become judge, jury, and executioner unless you have proof that the person has done, thought, or said what you think he's done, thought or said. This I agree with of course. In terms of not loving unconditionally well nobody does anyway but certainly nobody wants to be with someone whose specialty is histrionics Agreed again. I just don't see histrionics very often.
megabit15 Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Agreed again. I just don't see histrionics very often. Um...have you been reading the posts here on LS? Just kidding just kidding....
ReluctantRomeo Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Um...have you been reading the posts here on LS? Just kidding just kidding.... Here, yes. In real life, no
Topaze Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 I think we've all been taken... This sounds like a certain author who gives dating advice to men-- and it sounds like he's giving the exact same advice to women- perhaps under a female pen name... So he's playing both sides of the fence ala J.R. Ewing... lol This is exactly what I'm talking about... It would be funny to see 2 people who both go into a date thinking this... Oh no. I wish I had read this before I purcahsed the Catch Him If you Can on-line book. You mean this is all a load of garbage. OH MAN!!!
Aimée Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 I just googled "double your dating" and after reading the introduction with the first suggestion how to get a kiss from a woman I'm scared now! I do not believe that this book is able to teach a guy to successfully keep a woman, but it might be useful for women to read it in order to become more conscious of the tricks and to weed those guys out faster. And can someone tell me why the book for men costs $ 19.97, while on the catchhimandkeephim website women have to pay 10 bucks more for their ebook?
d'Arthez Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 And can someone tell me why the book for men costs $ 19.97, while on the catchhimandkeephim website women have to pay 10 bucks more for their ebook? The grandiosity of modern marketing. You are supposedly paying more copyrights on MP3 (legal) than on a CD too. And you do not even get a medium that is as "expensive" as a CD. No, you will have to supply your own medium as well.
country gal Posted November 28, 2005 Posted November 28, 2005 whatever the origin of the source, it's good advice. to cut a looong post short, it is telling women to maintain their independence and look after their own needs first. no-one, man or woman, likes a clingy partner or a pushover. also, just because you feel a certain intensity of feelings in a relationship, there is no guarantee the other person feels exactly the way you do at exactly the same time. respecting their autonomy, and respecting their pace, takes sensitivity, insight and maturity. and it's a learning process. a looong one. thanks helena, i think you put it much more succinctly - and in a more real tone. very important stuff.... i also think it goes for eveyone, not just females ... lord knows my ex could benefit from this info.
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