gimlynick Posted February 17, 2020 Posted February 17, 2020 I use this to clear my mind a little bit ( this + a lot of sports ). Thank you for reading. So this summer I met a great girl. We have a lot of similar interests, I know her from the past ( when we were both unavailable ) and it connected instantly. We had multiple dates ( but never sex, but I wanted to take things slow ) but then after 3 weeks I had an 8 week vacation coming up. I told her I wanted to see her the day before flying, but she declined it, saying that she is planning something else. I saw that she had a hard time realizing that I have a lot of free time ( she is doing a phd and is like 60-70 hours a week occupied for her work ) and that she kinda was a lil jealous about that ( never saying it, but well because of my job I am very good in reading people ). So I leave, contact starts to fade away ( not from my side, I tried to update regularly on her ), and one day I ask her why she didn't respond ( to a text of 5 days before ). She told me ' Sorry I am not really thinking about you when you're gone,..." . So I stopped texting, and started to clear my mind ( read: have a lot of sex with fellow travelers ). I turn back home, after 2 days I get an update from her asking me how it was. So we restart chatting, calling. She sends me pictures ( she is the kind of person who doesn't use social media and barely uses her phone, so that is pretty unique ) of herself, we flirt. We meet again ( 1 month after I'm back... ). The date goes amazing, but in the end she turns 180 degrees, telling me that she wants to keep seeing me to get to know me but that she doesn't see me right now as a potential partner. I asked her 'do you feel sexually attracted to me' on what she replied 'I don't know, I don't think so right now'. ( I'm in good shape and can date with amazing good looking women ). Then I kinda told her 'we should better not meet anymore, I would love to kiss you right now, we are not at the same level'. So she left. I felt bad. To be clear: I've been in love before, I'm 2 years single now and I am not in love with this girl. But in my mind she is the perfect girl ( yup... I know, not true but hey, that's what my mind is saying to me ). Two days after I see her best friend ( also one of my best friends ) at a friends party and I talk with my female friend. She has seen my crush the day before ( our mutual friend is rarely in my country ). The mutual friend tells me that we would not be a great couple and that my crush actually met a guy from her phd, when I was abroad. They have had sex allready but she isn't into him and that will be nothing. My mutual friend thinks that my crush blocked her emotions for me because she is scared to get hurt ( a dude cheated on her in the past, and my crush probably thinks that I would f*** around when abroad, what I would never do if I date someone I am very much into ). I was upset ( I asked my crush if there is someone else, she replied no ) and I unfollowed her on social media ( something very unimportant to note: she changed her profile pic the day after we had that last date, after 5 years not changing it and now it was her surrounded by mountains. We talk a lot about mountains, hiking, climbing,... That's just strange! ) A couple of weeks later I am talking to my best friend, and I told him the whole situation... Telling him that I still think about her a lot ( meanwhile I had seen 2 girls but they could not help me to distract my emotions ). He told me I should reach out again ( he knows her aswell a lil bit ) since she overthinks things a lot and we really had a great vibe + all the mutual interests. He figured out that she is seeing no one at this moment. So I text her and we talk a little bit. One moment she says something very flirty and I grab my chance, asking her to meet again. She asks me 'but I thought you didn't want to see me anymore'. I replied 'I saw your picture and I realized how fun it could be if we could do this kind of stuff together, I realized that with most people I just think they are boring but we would have so much fun' ( her flirty text was also about being alone together and how fun/interesting it would be ). I know what to do: not contacting her anymore. I will. I just had to write this down to oversee the situation. I was really thinking that she is into me but is uncertain about some things, but with writing this down I realize that this is just in my mind. Thank you for reading this, I am sorry for the big text, but it helps me :-)
Blind-Sided Posted February 18, 2020 Posted February 18, 2020 I think you know what needs done. Even if she is in to you... you two aren't in the same place. Sorry.
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