How much of your 'real' personality do you 'hide' at work?

[WorkingGal]

Hide, disguise, waterdown. 

I'm just curious. At work I am friendly but it's just the tip of the iceberg on my personality. If, as example, my colleagues learnt I was playful and fun loving prone to spontaneity and naturally very creative/curious I'm sure the boss would have a heart attack. Ms. Dependable ditching everything to go rafting or rock climbing... yeah right (but I did it at university more than once and maybe once or twice at other jobs).

I joked actually with a friend about this yesterday and their response was don't burst their (colleagues) bubble (their perception of me). 

Edited February 17, 2020 by WorkingGal

[preraph]

I definitely have a work personae.  At work, you have to not put people off, and really the best way to do that is just not get overly personal there.  

[FMW]

I've been at my current place of employment for 16 years, so it's hard to hide my real personality!  But I do adjust according to my surroundings, in general, I think most people with basic social skills do. 

In our private lives we tend to hang out with people that are similar to us or at least are comfortable with the same level and type of interaction.  We don't choose our coworkers, so they come with a lot of different personalities that we have to "read" and react accordingly in order to have good working relationships    

[Foxhall]

Most of my present work is in adult teaching which takes me to different centres so I dont really get overly familiar with any one group of people,

I have adopted a more aloof distant approach with classes this year, which has perhaps backfired in one sense as I have had to deal with a few e-mails flying around blaming me for their difficulties in learning the subject,

I never had this in other years when I tried to be more friendly with learners. so in that sense perhaps getting people "onside" is important in any work context.

Again in thus line of work, one comes across a vast array of personalities, some that will tell their life stories, some that will say nothing at all, some that will ask a lot of questions, some that will not, some that are eager to learn, some that are moody and disinterested,

Being on the introverted side really, I do question at times do I  have the personality for this, by default Id probably prefer to be in a quiet corner rather than right in the face of all these different people.

then I encountered a class of refugees recently and a completely different dynamic, they are so polite and dedicated to learning etc, that makes it much easier.

so I guess overall Im out of my comfort zone but good to challenge oneself.

 

 

 

 

[Eternal Sunshine]

I was in a job where I could be 100% myself because people I worked with were on the same wavelength: quirky, fun, able to accept less traditional values. 3 people from my team were members of “childfree by choice” groups. I could openly share my views on marriage and children and most were nodding in agreement.

Next job, everyone was married with children. One guy was 31 and already had 3 kids. They talked about their children constantly and they thought that the fact I didn’t have children was really weird. Most of them were also very controlled and uptight to the level that just didn’t mesh with my personality. Naturally, I just couldn’t be myself there.

Current job, on the first day I was asked if I have a husband and children. I said that I have a partner but no children “for now” (neither of those are true). I just want to do my job and not stand out from day 1. All of them are constantly talking about families and cooking. They also seem nice and competent so I don’t mind.

I guess my thoughts are: don’t be yourself unless you are sure that most of the team are similar to you. You are not at work to make friends or even to be liked.

 

 

 

 

 

[skywriter]

Years ago, when I was a telephone operator, the thought of really telling folks what I thought was so gratifying. 

You have to consider how incredibly rude people are, and how on the telephone people tend to say just whatever

the he** they want in whatever tone they choose. I recall a few touch and go moments I nearly got tossed out of the 

building on my head for my responses in my encounters with those that thought I was their verbal punching bag.

I so wanted to be my true self, just every once in a while. Ugh, it was nail biting to hold back. Like, this one woman, 

that called often, and I'm thinking why does her call keep coming through my line of all the operators in this world?

She's say, refer to me as "Madame", well I'm from the south and I'd say, "Yes Mam". Lol!

Edited February 18, 2020 by skywriter

[K.K.]

2 minutes ago, skywriter said:

Years ago, when I was a telephone operator, the thought of really telling folks what I thought was so gratifying. 

You have to consider how incredibly rude people are, and how on the telephone people tend to say just whatever

the he** they want in whatever tone they choose. I recall a few touch and go moments I nearly got tossed out of the 

building on my head for my responses in my encounters with those that thought I was their verbal punching bag.

I so wanted to be my true self, just every once in a while. Ugh, it was nail biting to hold back. Like, this one woman, 

that called often, and I'm thinking why does her call keep coming through my line of all the operators in this world?

She's say, refer to me as "Madame", well I'm from the south and I'd say, "Yes Mam". Lol!

You shoulda hit her with the “bless your heart”

southern girl here as well.  

[Mr. Lucky]

On 2/17/2020 at 1:17 PM, WorkingGal said:

I was playful and fun loving prone to spontaneity and naturally very creative/curious 

Those are qualities that support your objectives, not the company’s. “Spontaneity” doesn’t work with deadlines and commitments and “fun loving” doesn’t necessarily engage with customers and other employees. 
 

Your work persona needs to fit the task at hand...

Mr. Lucky 

[Blind-Sided]

Not a single drop of my personality is hidden.  Yes... when I need to be professional with clients... I am.  But once those people get to know me... I let "ME" out.  But part of me can be a fire and brimstone personality when things aren't getting done.   In my current life... I'm a consultant.  There are times where a GM or Director of Ops will give me hell while I'm working with them... but what they seem to forget... I was hired by the owners to be a troubleshooter.  They seem to remember when they get fired.

BUT... I ride motorcycles, have watercraft, and in general like adrenaline types of sports. I like retro video games. I have multiple degrees, mostly in science and worked as an R&D chemist for 8 years. I'm hands-on, and have no problems ripping apart an engine... or cooking cupcakes for my kids. I even had a small custom motorcycle shop, and had my own CNC mill and lathe.  Some people find that hard to believe when I'm standing there is a suit, and taking notes.

Edited February 20, 2020 by Blind-Sided

[alphamale]

I worked for many Fortune 500 companies which were mostly conservative.  I would pretty much show maybe 10% of my real personality

[2BGoodAgain]

it kinda depends on what your work environment is, what the business is.

and then, it doesn't really matter... you don't want to reveal everything to everyone... you have to keep a certain level of professionalism. it's just prudent. for respect, promotions, raises, etc.

besides, if my co workers knew half of what i do in private... lol... yeah, no. 

they think i'm a straight shooter with creative hints here and there... no need for them to know my darker side.

Edited February 20, 2020 by 2BGoodAgain

[melonmint57]

I tend to be more reserved at work. I don't typically like to talk much about my personal life. Most would label me as difficult to read, but I'd rather it be that way. 

[The Outlaw]

I don't hide anything at work. They know who I am and what I'm about. What they see is what they get. 

[Ellener]

I don't have a 'work persona' but people often pay me a lot to go in competent, upbeat and I try to make a success of and enhance their programmes and events. So no matter what's going on with me it's all about them most of the time and I try not to forget that. 

Some of the managers I've worked with for many years so they know me well and the ups and downs in my life and theirs come out, and some have become good friends through it. All my work for years has come from recommendations so I try to be as 'real' as possible with people whilst being as professional as I can.

Plus I'm a public advocate against discrimination in our community which was sometimes difficult earlier on but not now I'm established and know how to go about it more effectively. 

[Pumaza]

very cool topic. dont know if its hidding for eveeyone. some may be "fully fake" at work.

but generaly ,isnt it more "adjusting to the enviorment ?by not being  a complete other person,your personality stays same,but like stuff that may not be ok at work place and can make you lose your job, you adjust it or chose to not do it.

like someone who cuss alot at home, lose their cool, will make a change soon they get at work.because they dont wanna lose their job.

 

[Rockdad]

My wife and I at the office and in the public are true to our nature, professionals at our jobs but leave out segments of our personal lifestyle. For one we are very affectionate and open with each other if you will.  Many can be who they are and not play a role at work however every one at work does not need to know everything.

[Pastypop]

It depends on who I work with.  If my personality or personal life can be used against me at some point, I keep things to myself.  

[major_merrick]

Back when I was working, I had to tone things down some.  Not start fights, not tell idiots what I think of them, and try to use fewer F-words in polite company.  Thankfully, I had a boss at my last job who knew that if he gave me plenty of room, I'd be productive.  To his credit, he handled my crazy changing family situation with grace and poise.  I went from one girlfriend to two girlfriends to marriage with multiple partners and then becoming a mother.  Not many bosses could wrap their heads around that one.  Even though I'm no longer employed there, I still do contract projects and stuff on the side for them.  

So a lot of it depends on your boss and your environment.  If you find a place where you can (mostly) be yourself, you've found something worth keeping.

[OpenBook]

Lately at work I've had to really self-monitor to hide my irritation at inconsiderate little "insults" people do, and when others' laziness means I have to work twice as hard to cover for them. I know my irritation is largely due to the self-isolation (we're all working from home now), and I know most people genuinely mean well and have good intentions and have to battle things that I can't see. It's just really getting on my nerves. I dearly wish I could say what I'm really thinking. But I don't. Because it won't help the situation... and it's a great way to make enemies.

[Prudence V]

I act professionally at work, but don’t self-censor. At the same time there’s no need for me to tell my conservative colleague about my holidays with naturist friends unless that issue came up; nor would I boast about my atheism to my Muslim colleagues. But if someone asked my views on religion, I’d tell them. I’m too old to pretend to be what I’m not. 
 

I’m usually a little more guarded with students though. I don’t want them telling me what they think I want to hear. 

[bubbletea]

I hide all of my personality at work. I remain quiet and don’t get too involved with people. The hard part is keeping it bottled up when I am upset about something or unfairness in workload. I still remain calm and vent only at home to my spouse. I only have like 2 levels, calm level and mad level so I don’t want to unleash my level 10 mad on some unsuspecting person. They would never dream I could get that mad. Everyone thinks I am a calm innocent person.

I will however report complaints to supervisors when I’m obviously being abused and taken advantage of, but I try not to. I don’t like to get people in trouble unless absolutely necessary. And I don’t like to create drama at work.

Edited May 8, 2020 by bubbletea

[Fair]

Everyone wears a mask. Especially in the workplace.

[BaileyB]

I act professionally and maintain appropriate boundaries (ie. I try not to bring my problems from home to work), but I certainly don’t hide my personality at work. 

[Twenty Twenty]

I hide ALL OF IT.

But that's cause I smoke weed and love porn. Oops...

 

No but really, that all depends on what you do. Entertainment biz? Hotels, arts, crafts. Fashion. Design. Blogger. Web. Then, I think you'd be "yourself" at work.

But "corporate finance manager"? You are "Lumbergh" at work. Get what I'm sayin'??? That's Bill Lumbergh. And I cannot spell his last name...

[Artdeco]

I hide it all as well. There are two work-“friends” whom I meet up with outside of work once a month or maybe twice (not right now, obvs) ..... but that’s it. And even with them, I’m more reserved than I usually am. I’ve had bad experience with sharing too much and speaking my mind at work. Like talking politics, religion and abortion, private lives, etc. Unless it’s about work, projects, promotions, money, new hires, business decisions, etc ..... then I do speak my mind. And I don’t sugarcoat work-related stuff. But I try not to share anything abt my private stuff at work.