Janc07 Posted February 17, 2020 Posted February 17, 2020 I matched with a guy on tinder in October, who is a nurse. We’ve been texting everyday but we haven’t met up yet. When I was studying at the time for my NCLEX, boards exam to be a nurse, he wanted to meet up after a few days we were texting but I told him I have to study. I ghosted him for 2 weeks because I was talking to another guy from tinder. I talked to him again after 2 weeks of not talking because I was really sad that the other guy ghosted me to distract myself. When we started texting again, he would periodically ask me when I’m gonna take my exam so we can finally meet up. We finally set a date after I passed and I was the one who chose the date(a really late date) because I have really bad social anxiety meeting someone new especially from online.Last week, he told me he met up with a girl from hinge and got dinner and drinks with her. The other day, he texted me that he threw up all over the place while getting drinks with the same girl on Valentines Day. I told my guy friend about this and he said that if you go out on Valentine’s Day, it can also be platonic and doesnt have to be romantic. I know we’re both single and we can do whatever the hell we want. I also am talking to other guys from tinder because I don’t wanna be too attached to him. Out of all the guys I’m talking to right now, he is the guy that I’ve been talking to the longest. Based from my past, everytime I started getting feelings for a guy I was talking to, I would always end up getting ghosted. He got out of a 4 year relationship and isn’t looking to date and said he wants to let loose a little. I recently passed my NCLEX and am now a registered nurse. I know this is a good time for me to do whatever I want because I’m single and officially done with school. After I told my mom that I passed my NCLEX, she told me “you’re 23 now. It’s time to start mingling and put yourself out there”. This is also my first time doing this dating app thing so idk what to do. This is gonna sound super hypocritical but I have 3 dates with 3 guys this month before we actually meet up. He texted me yesterday and I left him on read. Should I just meet up with him in a few weeks or just ghost him/mute him on all social media?
Andy_K Posted February 17, 2020 Posted February 17, 2020 30 minutes ago, Janc07 said: He got out of a 4 year relationship and isn’t looking to date and said he wants to let loose a little. You're old enough to know what this means. If you're already attached to this guy, this will not end well. 1
Daisydooks Posted February 17, 2020 Posted February 17, 2020 If you feel a connection, stop messing around. That's my take. He got tired of waiting for you. I would too and I'm a woman. Lol. Social anxiety or not, you dont even know one another yet so it is of course insane to get upset he is out there dating. If he is talking to you, he isnt exclusive. Pick a date and time, and tell him you want to go out. If he is your "fave" of the bunch, what's the harm? Right now, ghosting and leaving him on read wont get you the guy you want. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted February 17, 2020 Posted February 17, 2020 The others are right, OP. You're too much work, in terms of the current approach you're taking. Talking since October and you couldn't manage to meet once? No wonder he's seeing other girls. Plenty of people study or work full-time and still find a little slice to set aside for their personal lives. Why were you Tinder to begin with if you couldn't date until just now? It's a waste of time to talk every day for months and yet not meet. That said, he also isn't looking for a relationship, apparently. If you are, this isn't your guy. 4
dramallama Posted February 17, 2020 Posted February 17, 2020 It sounds like youv'e become his penfriend / buddy - no guy who wants you seriously is going to tell you about puking up on a date with another girl - I mean, how trashy is that?! There's a guy I occasionally text with who was like you - text all the time for months but didn't seem to want to meet up - well he finally asked me out but I'd met someone interesting, so he got himself friend zoned. We've discussed his lack of success with dating and I've said his slow approach means he's missing out on meeting people who are motivated to actually date and get into a relationship of whatever flavour. You're doing the same. 1
stillafool Posted February 17, 2020 Posted February 17, 2020 6 hours ago, Janc07 said: I know we’re both single and we can do whatever the hell we want. I also am talking to other guys from tinder because I don’t wanna be too attached to him. You need to just keep this information in the forefront of your mind. You are both dating around and will be just meeting up to hang out as friends. Don't become attached to men you don't spend actual time with. Texting is not spending time with someone. 1
Fletch Lives Posted February 17, 2020 Posted February 17, 2020 6 hours ago, Janc07 said: He got out of a 4 year relationship and isn’t looking to date and said he wants to let loose a little. - he's on the rebound and not ready to be serious yet. Stop dating everybody and their mother. 1
mortensorchid Posted February 18, 2020 Posted February 18, 2020 It should be clear to you by all these things you have exchanged that he is nothing but a texting buddy. And that's fine but if you are looking for something else then you have to ask yourself why you are doing this. Don't waste time with time wasters.
Author Janc07 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Posted February 21, 2020 So i decided to text him back in a few days. What would i say to him? 1
Miss Spider Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 (edited) He told you he is only looking to “let loose”ie casual and you have not even met with him so of course he is meeting others romantically/sexually. Why are you playing games.Just meet him if you are fine with casual, but it seems like you’re not. I think if you continue to pursue this and continue to play games in general it will not end well for you. Edited February 21, 2020 by Cookiesandough 3
ExpatInItaly Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 2 hours ago, Janc07 said: So i decided to text him back in a few days. What would i say to him? Why do you want to text him? We can't really tell you what to say if we don't know what your objective is here. And why wait a few days? It's been long enough.
Author Janc07 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Posted February 21, 2020 12 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Why do you want to text him? We can't really tell you what to say if we don't know what your objective is here. And why wait a few days? It's been long enough. To meet
ExpatInItaly Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Then just come out and ask if he's free on X-day to meet for a coffee or drink. Just remember that he told you he doesn't want something serious. There is also no sense waiting a few more days to contact him. You are shooting yourself right in the foot with all these waiting games. 2 1
smackie9 Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 LOL oh my you go girl! Yes put yourself out there like yer mamma says and don't dwell on that guy. The proof is in the pudding...you can't possibly know someone just over text because your imagination fills in what's missing and misleads you emotionally. You go out on all those dates (and more) and have fun. Never invest until they are taking you out on lots of dates...talk is cheap and so is texting. 1
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