BaileyB Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 On 2/19/2020 at 9:35 PM, muchlovetogive said: I'm not sure if it's possible to have a totally civil co-parenting situation. I do. My friend friend showed me this. I met her as a teen and I didn’t actually realize for a long time that her parents were divorced. Both parents would come to all her activities, she would talk about both her parents often - turns out, they had been divorced since she was five. Her father had a girlfriend (with kids, they eventually moved in together) but they worked so hard to keep things positive for the kids - her father would even come to her mothers house on Christmas morning so that they could open presents together. It was pretty amazing, and my friend says now that she realizes what a sacrifice both parents made for them and how hard that must have been. But still, it can be done... 1
Blind-Sided Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, BaileyB said: .......they worked so hard to keep things positive for the kids - her father would even come to her mothers house on Christmas morning so that they could open presents together. It was pretty amazing, .............. That is amazing. But I guess it just depends on how "The end" came about. I can see if both parties just drifted apart. Or if one party wanted out, and the other just said OK... but in my case, where my ex went to the local abuse center, and tried to have me thrown out of my house without a single piece of evidence, or truth to her stories... AND... when she tried to turn my 13yo against me... how and why would I want to let her into my house ever again? Not only has the trust been broken... but she truly didn't want to even leave a "Friendship" in tact with her actions. Not to mention... my 13yo wouldn't want her here anyway. (FYI... they saw a councilor last night. 13yo came home mad, and the EX had obviously been crying) I'm more than civil for the sake of the kids, and I hold no grudge anymore... but she was not welcome on Christmas morning. With a family dynamic such as the one you described... I would wonder why they couldn't have just worked it out to begin with? Edited February 21, 2020 by Blind-Sided
spiderowl Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 A guy who cared about you and the relationship would be in touch, if only by text. He is saying loud and clear that you are on the periphery of his far more important life. I think finding a single guy instead who has time for you is a good idea! 2
dramallama Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 5 hours ago, spiderowl said: A guy who cared about you and the relationship would be in touch, if only by text. He is saying loud and clear that you are on the periphery of his far more important life. I think finding a single guy instead who has time for you is a good idea! I think this is the consensus isn't it? My guy is currently texting me while his daughter is watching TV... there's always a minute to say hi! 5
Gaeta Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 These 2 teens must be like all the other teens meaning they sleep till late on weekends. I am having my coffee now at 9h am while my 15 year old is sleeping, I know could start the vacuum and it wouldn't even wake her up. She will get up around 10is with her brain in a fog and she'll need an hour to check all her social media and her youtube notifications. When you have teens on weekends your morning are usually totally free. 2 1
kendahke Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 On 2/19/2020 at 10:35 PM, muchlovetogive said: 'm not sure if it's possible to have a totally civil co-parenting situation. It is because I had one with my daughter's father. We didn't even have to go to court about it, either. We've always put her best interests before our feelings and we still have a very amicable relationship. He came to my mother's funeral last year. When my daughter bought her house, I offered to buy her washer and dryer for her and he asked if he could get the dryer and I just take care of the washer. It can be done--depends upon the maturity level of the people in question. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 On 2/19/2020 at 10:40 PM, chillii said: l've been a single dad 7yrs but nope , it doesn't work like that and he did explain that to her. Women never understand what it's like being a single dad and trying to make up for a 7 day a week/365, normal family life situation for your kids, into 2/3 of a wkend. lf your a good dad your doing your best to somehow make up for all that , even if it's just being there for them when you do have them. And l think he only not called just on one wkend. Hmmm....I have been a single father, no, not SINGLE and a FATHER, A SINGLE FATHER with no mother around for essentially 8 years and effectively for 12. I had my kids 24/7. Full time job that often feels like 1.5 jobs, helping with homework, outside activities, planning for vacations, outtings, etc. No way I couldn't make time to at least communicated daily with the ladies I really liked and dated. 3
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 2 hours ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: Hmmm....I have been a single father, no, not SINGLE and a FATHER, A SINGLE FATHER with no mother around for essentially 8 years and effectively for 12. I had my kids 24/7. Full time job that often feels like 1.5 jobs, helping with homework, outside activities, planning for vacations, outtings, etc. No way I couldn't make time to at least communicated daily with the ladies I really liked and dated. I would also like to add that this is my life currently. I used some past tense verbs, but I am now and have been for a long time, a single father (parent) raising two beautiful, smart, responsible kids (teenagers now). It bothers me to hear, especially fathers, complain about how busy they are and cannot find time to effectively communicate with the people they date only to find out that they are CO-raising their child(ren) with an ex with only have limited visiting/custody rights. I know for many, it is not their fault that they can only be with their child for weekends or every other week, but to complain you don't have enough time for dating and use your single status as an excuse is just not compelling.
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