Author emmab219 Posted February 13, 2020 Author Posted February 13, 2020 17 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Can you clarify what you mean by this? What didn't feel casual coming from a guy you've known only 21 days? Also, what did you say when you told him how you feel? I agree with the others that he doesn't sound all that interested. His questions about you talking to other guys could have been either: A) his ego talking, or B) an opportunity to exit stage left without feeling like the bad guy. He appears to have been sincere that he really did only want something casual with you. I would let this one fizzle out. Okay, well I wasn't over here thinking he was the "one" or that he was about to be my boyfriend lol. I get I only knew him a short time. But I've done casual in the past-- and casual has been we hang out, we hook up, we don't act like a couple or talk about anything that would make it seem like we're a couple. To me, that's casual. This didn't seem that way, and I don't think I'm crazy for feeling like that. Obviously, I didn't care or have feelings for these other guys I was casual with. I think that's the main difference, as I've said. I caught feels. Not on purpose, but I did. And it changed the dynamic for me. But I get what everyone is saying lol Loud and clear. And my issue isn't at all with whether or not it was casual. It's the fact that he suddenly decided to ignore me. If he had just said 'hey not really into this anymore', it would've sucked, but I wouldn't be over here wondering what's happening. If he's not interested, that's fine. But I feel like going on a month now I deserve a little more than just being ghosted if that's his intent. Who knows. Maybe I'll hear from him in a week because people are bananas like that. 1 1
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted February 14, 2020 Posted February 14, 2020 8 hours ago, emmab219 said: I think it's more of an issue that he wasn't interested in anything more than sex, which is exactly what a FWB relationship is. So probs my wanting more is what did it, but yeah I agree he's clearly not interested anymore but I'm more annoyed he just decided to ignore me instead of just saying as much. Whats wrong with just having sex?
ExpatInItaly Posted February 14, 2020 Posted February 14, 2020 10 hours ago, emmab219 said: But I've done casual in the past-- and casual has been we hang out, we hook up, we don't act like a couple or talk about anything that would make it seem like we're a couple. To me, that's casual. This didn't seem that way, and I don't think I'm crazy for feeling like that. Obviously, I didn't care or have feelings for these other guys I was casual with. That's what isn't clear to me - what were you and he doing or talking about that made it feel more than casual to you? How did he reply to you when you told him you were feeling something more? Casual generally doesn't involve a lot of consistent communication, in my experience. He might be perfectly happy to talk sometimes and hook up sometimes, hence the long response times. My guess is that he doesn't interpret that as ignoring you, per se, but rather waiting it out so you don't get attached to the idea of more frequent communication. He'll probably pop back up if he wants some affection so he isn't necessarily interested in shutting it down completely. Are you obliged to sign up for that, and be okay with it? Of course not. Just read it for what it is: nothing more than casually dating someone.
simpycurious Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 On 2/12/2020 at 3:29 PM, I'veseenbetterlol said: Actions always speak louder then words. The communication thing shows he isn't super into you. He shows affection when its convenient, even then everything will die down eventually. I had a guy like this (long distance). Constantly forgot video call dates and would take forever to respond. He not posted on social media when he wasn't answering, but was glued to texting his friends when he was with me. Found out he didn't want a relationship. If he likes you, there won't be 24 hours in between texts. Is it so bad to just put your phone down when you are on a date with someone? Don’t they deserve your attention?? kinda seems simple to me 1
OatsAndHall Posted February 29, 2020 Posted February 29, 2020 This just comes with the territory of "casual relationships". I've only had one and behaved in much the same way this guy does. I enjoyed the time I spent with the woman involved but I kept her at arms length outside of that. I didn't want to get too attached to her for a variety of reasons but we did have fun dates together. We only slept together a handful of times: we were just two people having fun. It eventually just faded away: another part of casual relationships.
dramafreezone Posted February 29, 2020 Posted February 29, 2020 What's wrong with just enjoying the time that you two spend together, especially since you both explicitly stated that you wanted something casual? Why are you wondering if it's anything other than that? Seems like you're making this more complex than it is.
justwhoiam Posted February 29, 2020 Posted February 29, 2020 Boy, you young people really set the bar so low... and you'd expect it's so low you can't be disappointed. But, alas, you are. Stop pretending you are not looking for anything serious and just hooking up will be fine. Give it some years of that down the road and you end up a f up. Then start regretting the time wasted with guys who didn't deserve you. I guess it's better to act now. Set the bar higher. You'll f around a bit less, but you'll get more quality partners. Hopefully. 1
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