X1 anti Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 (edited) This girl im dating drove 30 minutes to my house, brought a bottle of wine and skipped her weekly meditation class to be with me. We drove to go pick up a pizza, came back to the house, had acouple glasses of wine and just talked for about an hour. She even mentioned me in future events with her. She suggested we go to the couch and we did. She started to put chap stick on and I asked her if she was priming her lips for when we makeout (she laughed) We’re both in our early 30s On the couch, we started watching tv. I had my hand on her knee under the blanket and started to slowly work toward her inner thigh with no resistance. I whispered into her ear and told her that it's time for her to bring those beautiful lips over here and kiss me. She laughed, I put my hands on her side of her neck/face and we made out for 5-7 seconds before she pulled away. I honestly thought maybe my breath smelt or that she thought I was a bad kisser because she pulled away so quickly. I didn't say anything, I just continued watching tv. She slowly began getting closer to me, laying her head on my shoulder, interlocking fingers so she must have liked it, right? A few moments later we began making out again and she pulled away 5-7 seconds later. Right after she said that she has to get up early for work tomorrow (shes a nurse and works long shifts) so I walked her to her car and kissed her good night. She texted me first thing the followining morning saying that it was great to see me and that she hopes i have a good day. She then texted me the following morning (at 5am) with a hyperlink to something I was interested in and said that she saw this and thought of me. I replied with "not seeing you for two weeks is going to be challenging"). She goes away for a week on Thursday and is working all week so we have no time to see each other before she leaves. She’s contacted me x3 so far this week she blew me off Last date we had scheduled so I decided to give her a second chance. Her excuse was that her phone got wet at the beach and she did t have my number. I still don’t trust her so it’s going to take time.. Edited February 11, 2020 by X1 anti
Miss Spider Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 (edited) You want thoughts, so I’m going to be real with you. The time this happened to me in recent memory, I was not sure if I was feeling the guy 100%, but I could tell he was really into it. I was attempting to see if anything was there, but there was no spark. Edited February 11, 2020 by Cookiesandough 2
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 I'm not seeing a problem, other than you're expecting and feeling entitled to instant gratification. Get to know her a bit before having any expectations. 2 2
smackie9 Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 Shouldn't even bat an eye and date other women in the meantime. 1
basil67 Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 She simply wasn't ready for intimacy. Not a bad thing. Also, 'testing' is a figment of imagination by self absorbed incels. They take a woman's bad behaviour and attempt to make it about themselves. 4 2
ExpatInItaly Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 (edited) I don't think she was "testing" you. I think she simply didn't want to get carried away and get more intimate before she's ready. It seems safe to say she likes you, if she's initiated contact and let you know she's been thinking of you. I would try to relax the defensive posture a bit and not assume she's deliberately trying to toy with you. Edited February 11, 2020 by ExpatInItaly 3
ccas93 Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 (edited) what Smackie said, put her on the back burner and maybe talk to other women in the meantime. If she truly likes you, you'll find out shortly. I feel like a lot of people try so hard to figure out what their date thinks about them by obsessing over their date and analyzing their behavior. I recommend detaching yourself (a bit), taking what she said at face value, and not worrying about it. It's a lot more truth telling. Edited February 11, 2020 by ccas93 2
Ami1uwant Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 As others said..maybe no spark when you kissed. When she pulled away were you trying to do more than just kiss? Like sticking your tongue in her throat. Maybe she felt she needed air because of her breathing or your breath.
preraph Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 I don't know. I had a reaction to the part of your post where you creeped your hand up her thigh and then whispered for her to bring her beautiful lips and all that. That kind of stuff, mostly the talking part, kind of embarrasses me and seems kind of contrived and odd. Maybe that's not it at all, I don't know. You hear women on here wanting compliments. I don't like directly sexual compliments. Guess it's wait and see. I mean, she did follow up, so she's not being that negative about it. Probably just knew from the thigh creeping you were going in for the kill, so she put a boundary. 3 1
basil67 Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 (edited) I find it odd that you had your hand creeping up her thigh BEFORE you kissed her. If it's somebody new, taking the bases in the right order is the safest bet. Edited February 11, 2020 by basil67 4
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 (edited) Sounds like she wanted to get laid but could see you were not gonna press the issue so she probably left to go see whoever she is banging regularly instead of you. I have never known a woman to cancel her pre-existing plans, show up with a bottle of wine and not expect to get down and dirty. Yeah, without the involvement of the wine, I would say maybe she was just wanting to spend time with you, but when you introduce the wine, this changes the situation. How old is this chick? Did you guys have plans to watch a special show? The whole showing up with wine thing is definitely not a normal situation, sounds more like a hook up than anything. Edited February 11, 2020 by CAPSLOCK BANDIT Addition 2
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 I agree that there was probably no testing going on but I have no idea why the kisses were so brief with her pulling away since she seemed fine to snuggle & didn't object to your hand on her thigh.
elaine567 Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 7 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: When she pulled away were you trying to do more than just kiss? Like sticking your tongue in her throat. ... or was your hand still working its way up to her inner thigh... so she felt she had to shut you down quickly. Not a very romantic way to start things off actually. Going straight for the inner thigh is a bit rough and uncouth IMO. 2 1
smackie9 Posted February 12, 2020 Posted February 12, 2020 She pulled away to make sure things don't go any further... 3
Irmaa Posted April 17, 2020 Posted April 17, 2020 ¨ I had my hand on her knee under the blanket and started to slowly work toward her inner thigh with no resistance. I whispered into her ear and told her that it's time for her to bring those beautiful lips over here and kiss me. She laughed, I put my hands on her side of her neck/face and we made out for 5-7 seconds before she pulled away.¨¨ She probably felt very uncomfortable by this way of doing things. Girls are different but this is not gentleman like IMHO. 3
rjc149 Posted April 18, 2020 Posted April 18, 2020 First off, I would ditch this particular Corey Wayne line. I think a lot of his stuff is actually pretty helpful for clueless guys, but 'bring those big beautiful lips over here' is an example of when it gets cheesy. Hence her reaction to laugh -- I bet it was more of a indignant snort than a genuine laugh. In the future, don't ask a girl to kiss you, don't mention kissing. Just kiss her. I'll also second the opinion that it doesn't seem like you were assertive enough in escalating. A woman in her 30's who clears her schedule to go to a guy's house with a bottle of wine is DTF. This fell right into your lap and you dropped it. Maybe it was your breath, but I think you demonstrated lack of confidence. "I replied with "not seeing you for two weeks is going to be challenging"" -- showing a bit too much interest, more than her interest in you. Usually a turn-off for women. In addition to not being assertive enough when she's offering herself up to you. She's likely pretty turned off. Hence the total BS excuse for blowing off your date. Next message would go like "hey no worries, let me know when you're free, it would be nice to see you again." (a *good* Corey Wayne line) Then don't contact her again, and start talking to other women. If she doesn't reach out again, you have your answer.
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