babybrowns Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 (edited) Hello all, I recently went on a first date with a guy whom I met online. We live about 3 hours apart from each other, the initial plan was to meet somewhere halfway for our first date. However weather issues caused train disruptions and thus for the first date he drove all the way to my town to meet with me. The date went well and he stayed for several hours. He texted me afterwards saying he really enjoyed himself and that he thinks I’m great, he’d love to see me again when I’m next free. We’ve arranged to see each other on a weekend a little later in the month, I’ll be going to his town. Even though it is nice that he wants to see me again, something that is a little concerning is his texting. Before we met in person, he would reply early and would text me often (we texted for 2 weeks before meeting in person). However, ever since I said ‘yes’ to a second date, his replies have become a little slow and seem to have lost a bit of drive. I am wondering what all this means and whether it is an indication of a man who is not all that interested. In the past I have been hurt by someone that I fell hard for and I am a little wary of being reeled into something again which is a little one-sided. Advice would be really appreciated thank you Edited February 11, 2020 by babybrowns
Fletch Lives Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 Maybe he just wants to talk on the date. If you have a date set, that's the most important thing......actions, setting a date, shows more interest than text......which is talk.......which is cheap! 2
smackie9 Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 Guys think that if they text a lot between dates, it's going to look needy...it's the guy's job to pull back so you will desire to be in contact with him more. And also the fact he doesn't have to work for it anymore, you said yes. 3
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 If the date is scheduled & there is still some communication, the rest if just details. Don't stress 1
Blind-Sided Posted February 12, 2020 Posted February 12, 2020 Ummmmmm. Yep, what they said. Date is planed, he is still in contact... you are good at this point. 2
Zippy2000 Posted February 12, 2020 Posted February 12, 2020 Hard to say as there isn't enough information to go by but it could be he`s come to a realisation that 3 hours is a bit far. Why don't you gauge his interest and ask him out again to see what he says?
Twizzlestick Posted February 12, 2020 Posted February 12, 2020 Personally if he’s gone a bit lack lustre in the content of his replies I think his interest has taken a step down. As a bloke you want to keep the momentum with someone who’s your plan A. Could be he’s dated others? He still wants to meet at this point so every chance it’ll work out. 1
stillafool Posted February 12, 2020 Posted February 12, 2020 19 hours ago, babybrowns said: In the past I have been hurt by someone that I fell hard for and I am a little wary of being reeled into something again which is a little one-sided. We've all been hurt. You've only had 1 date with this guy so reel in your feelings and don't fall for him. Wait until you have a reason to. 1
fishlips Posted February 12, 2020 Posted February 12, 2020 He wants to see you again, so don't worry. If he loses interest after meeting and doesn't want another date, then that's different. Maybe he's just one of those people who is not into texting. 1
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted February 12, 2020 Posted February 12, 2020 He likely feels that 3 hours is too far away to pursue anything serious. Knowing someone is hours away and actually having to drive it are two different things. When you get a pull back from a man, you should pull back yourself. It's sad, but he may be hoping to keep you on the back burner in case there could be sex a time or two.
Saracena Posted February 12, 2020 Posted February 12, 2020 In my experience guys use texting to make plans etc as opposed to us who view it more as a sign of interest. Having said that though, when did he ask to see you for the second date? IME guys who are very keen tend to want to see you very soon after the last date. As others have said, the distance could be a factor though,
Miss Spider Posted February 12, 2020 Posted February 12, 2020 (edited) You are 3 hours away. That’s 6 hours round trip. Driving that distance is enough to make most people lose a bit of interest when there are plenty of local options at your finger tips Edited February 12, 2020 by Cookiesandough
BaileyB Posted February 13, 2020 Posted February 13, 2020 On 2/11/2020 at 4:36 PM, d0nnivain said: If the date is scheduled & there is still some communication, the rest if just details. Don't stress This. It’s impossible to maintain that kind of texting with someone you barely know between dates. Relax and look forward to the next date - you will have so much to talk about...
BaileyB Posted February 13, 2020 Posted February 13, 2020 8 hours ago, Saracena said: In my experience guys use texting to make plans etc as opposed to us who view it more as a sign of interest. Most definitely true for my partner. He sees texting as a necessary evil, or an unnecessary waste of time...
Author babybrowns Posted February 13, 2020 Author Posted February 13, 2020 (edited) Thank you everyone for your replies. The texting seems to be a little more consistent now, however a slightly more concerning thing is now on the mind. Perhaps I’m reading too much into it but.. We confirmed our second date, I even said that if that’s definitely confirmed I can book my trains to his town to which he was affirmative. We are meeting the weekend after next. However a couple of days later he’s asking me if I’m “sure” about coming all the way, since there’s going to be another storm like last weekend and perhaps trains might be cancelled again. He said we can always rearrange and that he can drive to my town again another time. Might just be a wise prediction from his end but I’m not sure why he would say this so early in advance. What should I make of this? Edited February 13, 2020 by babybrowns
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 13, 2020 Posted February 13, 2020 (edited) On 2/11/2020 at 11:34 AM, babybrowns said: Hello all, I recently went on a first date with a guy whom I met online. We live about 3 hours apart from each other, the initial plan was to meet somewhere halfway for our first date. However weather issues caused train disruptions and thus for the first date he drove all the way to my town to meet with me. The date went well and he stayed for several hours. He texted me afterwards saying he really enjoyed himself and that he thinks I’m great, he’d love to see me again when I’m next free. We’ve arranged to see each other on a weekend a little later in the month, I’ll be going to his town. Even though it is nice that he wants to see me again, something that is a little concerning is his texting. Before we met in person, he would reply early and would text me often (we texted for 2 weeks before meeting in person). However, ever since I said ‘yes’ to a second date, his replies have become a little slow and seem to have lost a bit of drive. I am wondering what all this means and whether it is an indication of a man who is not all that interested. In the past I have been hurt by someone that I fell hard for and I am a little wary of being reeled into something again which is a little one-sided. Advice would be really appreciated thank you I would recommend reeling in your emotions first of all. Work on this especially as dating is not the place to have emotional attachments too soon. I know you know that. Now, this change in communication is not a good sign. He either has found someone else he is more keen on focusing on or he is playing games. I suspect you are no longer the number 1 interest and he has opened himself to risking losing YOUR interest because of it. People tend to fade away when no longer interested. 'It is what it is' as they say everywhere. Edited February 13, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020 2
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