Miss Spider Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 10 minutes ago, caputo77 said: Update y’all: he just sent me a text and ended things. After 6 weeks of pursuing me and telling me how much he likes me and making future plans with me and inviting me on trips. Oh well. If he honestly couldn’t handle this then I guess I definitely dodged a bullet. Thank you all for the support, I honestly feel like I am able to handle this well now because I know it’s not all my fault! Sheesh. Seems like a serious overreaction. What was his reason for ending it?
Author caputo77 Posted February 11, 2020 Author Posted February 11, 2020 35 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Sheesh. Seems like a serious overreaction. What was his reason for ending it? “I’m not good enough for you” 1
Miss Spider Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 (edited) Oh boy. This the same guy that had waited like three dates and didn’t know how to kiss... I have to wonder if the physical part got any better... anyway, perhaps he is right. Sorry it didn’t work out, but at least now you can focus on a better match for you. Edited February 11, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 1 hour ago, caputo77 said: Update y’all: he just sent me a text and ended things. After 6 weeks of pursuing me and telling me how much he likes me and making future plans with me and inviting me on trips. Oh well. If he honestly couldn’t handle this then I guess I definitely dodged a bullet. Thank you all for the support, I honestly feel like I am able to handle this well now because I know it’s not all my fault! I think his having (told/informed others that you would be attending ) is the entire core of his (deep disappointment) over your going back on your acceptance of the invitation. I get that, especially as a woman, you wanted to avoid sending signals which don't match your level of comfort, AND I get that it was a variable which you couldn't have known at the TIME, - how you were gonna feel as the trip approached. (and y'know, HE may indeed already *know* that his pals and your trip environment would not have entailed your sailing the social seas alone in a pack of rapists and other felons... but it IS fair that YOU didn't know all of that for certain) I also get that it is too darn beyond our typical nature to REALLY spell-out for somebody (we envision/dream of one day being SO close to) EXACTLY what we're hoping for, long-term, so that all like-minded parties can begin from (that rosy future) and rewind from the future to BEST choreograph the next three hours/days/weeks with that blissful future as the priority. Nonetheless, at some point, potentially in some may-as-well-have-been drunken state, he (boasted confidently) that his new babe would be attending, and then he was let-down. As for YOU... it's gonna be a challenge for ya to step forward and NOT ALTER ANYTHING about your approach/outlook, because you didn't really do anything wrong here. HE just... was inflexible tangent to very reasonable concerns that (ANY woman in your position might have had) That said, HIS particular group of friends are probably all PRINCES, none of whom are arrogant, but all of whom have incomes in the high six-figures... and none of whom even have so much as a (figurative) wandering eye. (it's OK for HIM to know that... and its OK that you didn't just want to accept his word before he drew you into an uncertain environment (from withIN which you were going to continue to make a measured-but-fantastic impression).
Noproblem Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 (edited) I feel like he is like a puppy, he was excited to showing you off to his friends and you blew that and he got mad. I imagine he will have a lot baby tantrums as your relationship progresses if it does. But meanwhile do not contact him, let him come to you, you did nothing wrong! Edit: Oh.. I now saw the new updates. This guy gives air or fire vibes he definitely found a new girl and he is using this as an excuse. Don't you dare feel bad about him.. You dodged a bullet. I bet he'll come back in two weeks from now, but by then, I would hope you'd have blocked him. Edited February 11, 2020 by Noproblem 1
Interstellar Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 (edited) While I agree with you that the trip was a big step and it’s too much too soon, it’s a major booboo on your part to send him a long, rambling text message on your anxieties and uncertainties. You should’ve done this face to face. I can only imagine what his reaction would be while reading it, and you gals don’t speak English you got your own vernacular so the words got lost in translation. Texting is only 70 percent communication. Let’s flip the script and imagine a guy sending you a long, rambling text regarding his feelings about you. It will probably make you sick. Next time if there’s anything important: do it face to face, where he can actually listen to your words in real time, hear your voice inflection, the nuances, see your body language, etc...but he doesn’t seem interested though, so there. Edited February 11, 2020 by Interstellar 2 1
ExpatInItaly Posted February 11, 2020 Posted February 11, 2020 I have to agree with him that I think it's better that you two don't continue seeing each other, OP. You don't sound compatible.
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