NuevoYorko Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 Whether he finds you attractive or not, he's not very interested in you. That's clear. Why are you spending your time and energy even thinking about this? From my perspective, a more useful question would be "Why do I date men who aren't attracted to me?" 5
2BGoodAgain Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 1) no, he isn't interested in you. 2) he's interested in what he can compare or change you into... prob some girl he does actually like, etc. So even IF you changed yourself, lost weight etc, you're just a temp until something better comes along. 3) having sex with someone doesn't mean they like you... Honestly, you should dump his donkey and move on.... have some pride in your worth, b/c if you don't, no one will. He certainly doesn't value you other than a booty call, etc... you know what you call that? someone you don't have to pay. at any rate, he isn't interested in "you". at least, he's honest about it... but honesty isn't love... it's just him stating what he wants; he didn't even ask you what you wanted... did he?
Erik30 Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 (edited) No I wouldn't, but I know a lot of guys will. I don't think I would even be physically able to perform if I'm not attracted to the girl. I've rejected a couple of women who proposed a fwb type of relationship, but I just wasn't into them. (And they were usually offended cause men turning down sex is not expected) I guess you can kind of compare it to some women who will text with guys for hours, even though they have zero interest in them Edited February 10, 2020 by Erik30 1
alphamale Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 43 minutes ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: Do you make it clear to these women up front that you only want to "date" them to get between their legs? GP1 once you tell them that you won't be getting any. say nothing and let the chips fall where they may
Author TaintedLuv Posted February 10, 2020 Author Posted February 10, 2020 9 minutes ago, 2BGoodAgain said: 1) no, he isn't interested in you. 2) he's interested in what he can compare or change you into... prob some girl he does actually like, etc. So even IF you changed yourself, lost weight etc, you're just a temp until something better comes along. 3) having sex with someone doesn't mean they like you... Honestly, you should dump his donkey and move on.... have some pride in your worth, b/c if you don't, no one will. He certainly doesn't value you other than a booty call, etc... you know what you call that? someone you don't have to pay. at any rate, he isn't interested in "you". at least, he's honest about it... but honesty isn't love... it's just him stating what he wants; he didn't even ask you what you wanted... did he? Honest about what? He made me a Valentine’s Day ecard and asked me to come watch his daughters basketball game at 830am on a Saturday. I think maybe you mixed up the two guys I mentioned throughout my posts. But I agree. Clearly not that worried about losing me.
Author TaintedLuv Posted February 10, 2020 Author Posted February 10, 2020 1 minute ago, alphamale said: GP1 once you tell them that you won't be getting any. say nothing and let the chips fall where they may I disagree. I think if the guy is honest and I also want that then why wouldn’t it happen anyway ? 1
alphamale Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 Just now, TaintedLuv said: I disagree. I think if the guy is honest and I also want that then why wouldn’t it happen anyway ? most of the single women I know who are in their 40s and 50s are not looking for casual hookups
Author TaintedLuv Posted February 10, 2020 Author Posted February 10, 2020 3 minutes ago, alphamale said: most of the single women I know who are in their 40s and 50s are not looking for casual hookups Oh gotcha. I’m in my late 30s and I’d prefer a relationship but if the attraction is there, might as well?
thefooloftheyear Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 3 hours ago, Tamfana said: Make sure you have a good relationship with someone before getting sexually or emotionally involved, especially if these are strangers you're meeting on the internet. It's different if you meet people in your social circle because you have more information about the person, from interacting and from the people who know him. The old fashioned way. This^^ Guys are all different....If a guy can sense he can get sex easily, then sure, he'll entertain women WAY below what he would normally see himself with in the context of a "take home to mom" type of woman...Ive known guys that were super studs that often chased women far below them for sex...They claimed it was better as those women worked a lot harder in the bedroom to make up for their physical inadequacies... I see women on here posting all the time..."but we had sex, so he MUST find me attractive, no??"...And you have guys that say if the guys had sex with the women that they absolutely were attracted to them...The answer is maybe...and could easily be no....Or it can be the scenario where the guy then thinks.."well..if I can whip this girl into shape, then maybe we'll have something"....there are even threads running right now by guys thinking they can pull this off.. I'm not a woman, but if I was, and was looking for relationship and not a hookup, id make every guy qualify himself before any sex happens...The mistake many women make is thinking that if they make a guy wait, he'll move on....That's a fallacy....While waiting forever isn't practical or necessary, you will usually get a clear picture early on if he's only looking for a hookup.. I know there are going to be some women that will say they had sex on the first night and they have been happily married since...I know it happens, but the opposite happens far more frequently... TFY 3
Pleasant-Sage Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 I can't really speak from experience because I've been out of the dating game for a long time but I do know enough to say I wouldn't waste my time or someone else's time if I wasn't attracted to them as far as dating goes but the vast majority of people (men or women) with commitment issues probably don't have a problem using someone else to make themselves feel better. As some have already pointed out, men probably (more often than not) do take advantage of women for sex. Women probably do other things for that emotional high. These types of people figure out how to offer you the bare minimum just so they can get a better deal in return. Call it bargain shopping if you will. Kind of an unrelated story but years ago, when my ex wife left me, her boyfriend's ex-gf tried so hard to hook up with me. Bizarre situation, I know. She begged me for one date constantly. I eventually compromised and said I was willing to hang out just as friends. She still tried to get me naked by getting naked herself but it didn't happen and made things really awkward the rest of the time she was there. She didn't quite understand and I felt bad for her feelings getting hurt but I had already warned her I wasn't interested in any kind of relationship with her other than friends so that wasn't on me. I'm assuming her getting naked had worked on all the previous guys she had desired to hook up with. 1
preraph Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 (edited) Ever been in a bar at 2 a.m. when they are closing? It's like a swarm on the birdfeeder during a freeze. Is it "dating"? No. But you see couples all the time who are probably not together because they think the other is hot. And they're probably better off. Edited February 10, 2020 by preraph 2
Noproblem Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, TaintedLuv said: The guy that told me to lose weight got cut right then and there. Who the hell is he? He was all bent cause I ate pizza and ice cream in ONE day. I guess he had been keeping track of what I ate? Weird. Just because I’m not a gym rat/size zero doesn’t make me undesirable. He actually debated with me for a few days how he wants this work and if I could just listen to him. I’m good bro. I don’t need someone like that. Current guy, I think I need to come to terms with “he’s not into me” regardless of how he treats me when we’re together. And yes, that’s a heart noose because love kills. I like your attitude But, this makes me scared eeww, what if I encoutner a guy like this... deciding what I eat and I eat a lot of yummy food and sweet and share them on IG lol. the Heck with anyone who dares to tell us not to eat what we want lol Just block this new guy please. B L O C K Him and be free. You deserve better than this loser! Edited February 10, 2020 by Noproblem 1
Miss Spider Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 (edited) Ecard? Like internet card?! Homeboy couldn’t even have got a real card.... This was after he told you that you’re attractive enough to sleep with but not to date... To your face?! You’re still talking to him?! I feel like you need to raise your standards. Edited February 10, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 4 hours ago, Ellener said: Huh? Don't be 'hooking up' or having sex with men like this and 'rewarding' such obnoxious behaviour, that's my thoughts. It's you who is dropping your standards. And making you feel unattractive too! Are those heart nooses in your profile picture by the way? Agree! Don't let guys settle for you if they do settle, they will leave you once they find the perfect partner. They are using you. 2
Author TaintedLuv Posted February 10, 2020 Author Posted February 10, 2020 7 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Ecard? Like internet card?! Homeboy couldn’t even have got a real card.... This was after he told you that you’re attractive enough to sleep with but not to date... To your face?! You’re still talking to him?! I feel like you need to raise your standards. No no. Two diff guys ! Lol 1
preraph Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 Don't waste time on this shallow tool! It's time wasted you could be using finding one who really thinks you're great! Don't reward his type of behavior, either. Who does he think he is?
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 1 hour ago, TaintedLuv said: I disagree. I think if the guy is honest and I also want that then why wouldn’t it happen anyway ? That takes the fun out of conning another human being, for someone without a conscience. 1
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 1 hour ago, TaintedLuv said: Oh gotcha. I’m in my late 30s and I’d prefer a relationship but if the attraction is there, might as well? This behavior from modern women is why men no longer have to commit. 2 1
Ruby Slippers Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 You seem to be seeking love/validation from a man who will never give it to you. This seems like a waste of your precious time and energy. Why might you be doing this? 2
2BGoodAgain Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 1 hour ago, TaintedLuv said: Honest about what? He made me a Valentine’s Day ecard and asked me to come watch his daughters basketball game at 830am on a Saturday. I think maybe you mixed up the two guys I mentioned throughout my posts. But I agree. Clearly not that worried about losing me. sorry! didn't see anything about a eCard or a basketball thingie in the original post. 2
Author TaintedLuv Posted February 10, 2020 Author Posted February 10, 2020 4 minutes ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: This behavior from modern women is why men no longer have to commit. What is wrong with two consenting adults enjoying themselves as long as they’re both being honest about intentions? Problem is one party usually isn’t. We’re all adults here (presumably). I personally don’t want anything casual but I don’t think it’s a big deal if both people are cool with it. 1
Author TaintedLuv Posted February 10, 2020 Author Posted February 10, 2020 6 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: You seem to be seeking love/validation from a man who will never give it to you. This seems like a waste of your precious time and energy. Why might you be doing this? I guess because everytime I convince myself he’s not into me, he swoops in and acts like he is and now I’m this cycle. I deleted his number this morning. I’m done with the hot and cold act. 3
Miss Spider Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 Oh okay my bd I didn’t realize there were two different guys being discussed in the thread. I’m obviously really confused so I’ll be leaving now. Sorry! xD 1
Ruby Slippers Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 1 minute ago, TaintedLuv said: I guess because everytime I convince myself he’s not into me, he swoops in and acts like he is and now I’m this cycle. I deleted his number this morning. I’m done with the hot and cold act. Good. This is a not a healthy dynamic. Love is not "tainted" unless that's your mentality. Love is the most beautiful part of life. Let go of your old baggage about it being "tainted" because it's not.
Author TaintedLuv Posted February 10, 2020 Author Posted February 10, 2020 1 minute ago, Ruby Slippers said: Good. This is a not a healthy dynamic. Love is not "tainted" unless that's your mentality. Love is the most beautiful part of life. Let go of your old baggage about it being "tainted" because it's not. I don’t have any baggage. I actually believe in love and marriage and I think it can be amazing with the RIGHT partner. I just can’t seem to find that.
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