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Dating a Few Times a Month?


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Posted (edited)

I started talking to this guy online 3  months ago and we met in January. Like way in the month, Then we went on a date at the end of the month. I asked him yesterday when are we going out again and he said next month. Am I missing something here? I never heard of this and it has me wondering if were dating or just friends. He texes me frequently tho. And that's not one sided, were both interested by phone. I'm not sure what to make of it. What do you guys think?

 

Edited by knockout33
Posted

This is odd behaviour to me. I wouldn't go for it myself only because it's not what I would be looking for. Is he married he something? Why is he so unavailable/uninterested?

  • Like 1
Posted

Could it be that he can't afford to take you out again until next month?  If so, invite him on a date, and pay.

  • Author
Posted (edited)

I'm not sure if it's that. He works. So. I mean cause ya. I thought if your dating someone, you see them once a week or every other week. But. Ya. I think I'm going to ask him just to see how he feels. To be clear what he wants. I mean maybe he just wants to be friends. I don't know.

Edited by knockout33
Posted

That is an interesting response. Next month. Could be money, but if he works, hmmm...you can plan very inexpensive or free dates. I've had dates at the nearest BN where it is quiet and coffee available with someone I had already been dating. Fun and comfortable.

Posted

In my humble opinion when there is an attraction it doesn't matter where you meet or what you do. The main purpose is to physically connect with the other person. You can't do that by texting. Texting is a preamble to a relationship or a gap filler when away from each other. 

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Posted

What do I think?  I think you should ask him out instead of waiting for him.  If you make your move and ask him to go out.  If he`s interested he`ll agree but make sure its like a weekend. 

 

If he still says "next month" then why?  Does he need to get approval from his Parole Officer?  😶

Posted

Talk to him. Tell him you would like to see him sooner as next month is pretty far away. See what he responds.

  • Author
Posted

Ya I'm going to talk to him and see,

Posted

I see my guy 2-3 times a month because between the distance between us (90 min drive), our work and childcare schedules, it's hard to reliably get together more; but that's ok for us as we've spoken extensively about what we're both looking for, we're exclusive, and we're both happy to build the relationship slowly and organically as we're both looking long term. I'm happy to have my natural enthusiasm kerbed a little as in the past I've rushed in and then found it harder to back out again!

But if it's been three months of texting, you've met twice only recently, and then he wants another gap.... he's certainly not rushing into anything is he! I'd maybe find an event you fancy towards the end of this month and suggest you both go and see what he says.

Posted

He's texting you, but he won't see you again until March. Sounds like he's not overly interested but wants to keep you around as a backup. He's probably trying to manage multiple women at one time. 

  • Like 1
Posted

You want to look for at least one date a week. One a month means he's just not into you.

Posted

He's dating more than just you.

  • Like 3
Posted
2 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

He's dating more than just you.

Yeah could be this OP and he has you on rotation.

  • Like 2
Posted

Uhhh did you ask why? That’s strange enough that I think a “Why” is in order. 

  • Like 3
  • Author
Posted

I never asked why. I just said next month seems far. I guess when we meet up I'll ask. But I asked him to meet sooner and he said we will friday. I did tell him it seems I'm more interested than he is. So I'll see what happends. 

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, Zippy2000 said:

 

If he still says "next month" then why?  Does he need to get approval from his Parole Officer?  😶

I still say wife. He needs to sneak out and keep it on the DL! I WISH dating was simple and straight forward where men and women were honest and easy to date  :( Ugh. Dating is such a pain in the behind  

 

6 minutes ago, knockout33 said:

I never asked why. I just said next month seems far. I guess when we meet up I'll ask. But I asked him to meet sooner and he said we will friday. I did tell him it seems I'm more interested than he is. So I'll see what happends. 

 Next month does seem far unless he is travelling for work (my fiance does for example) for the remainder of the month, has a wife and kids, or is seeing 5 other women and you... or he is broke and has no money for more frequent dates, which is equally a turn off.... but then again, you could do dates that cost little to nothing together if money is an issue? 

There is no "good" reason to see you next month. So hopefully Friday goes well. 

 

Edited by Daisydooks
Posted

Sure, he could be married or dating another, but the bottom line is, he's just not into you much.

At this rate, you two won't be girlfriend and boyfriend until you are 70!

  • Author
Posted

I don't think he's as into me either. So. But im still going to see how friday goes. And if he doesn't text me or initiate if were still meeting or not, I'm done. I'm simply going to tell him I want to be friends.

  • Author
Posted

I mean, I'll be done in terms of us dating. 

  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted

Update: 

Hi guys. So I decided it's better to just be friends with this guy. I don't want to chase anyone and it doesn't feel right to. So. Just thought I'd let u guys know,

Posted

online dating brings out the worst aspects of dating. insecurities, infidelity, multidating, paranoia, worry, anxiety, self doubt, questioning, stds, etc...

this guy is seeing probably 4 other girls and you're just one of the 5. 

my friend has the same pattern. talks and chats up 5 girls at a time through 3 or 4 different dating sites. goes on like one date a month with each and strings em along, when one drops out he just replaces that one lost one with fresh meat. 

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