CloudyHead Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 I'd like to know anyone's experience with a decision to not date for a period of time. Why did you make that decision? How long did you not date? In hindsight, was your decision not to date a good or bad decision and why?
Mystery4u Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 After I broke up with my ex I purposely did not date for about 1 year as I knew I was nowhere near ready and needed time to myself. It was a great decision as during this time I met someone but did not go out with them as I knew if I did they would end up getting hurt. When I was ready then we went out and been together for 2 years now.
Blind-Sided Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 I made a conscious choice to not date until my divorce was 100% official, and then... I didn't make any effort to date until my oldest was at least visiting with her mom. (Lots of info on that with my other threads) So... it was a solid year from the time she hit me with anything, and another 3 months until my oldest went to her mothers house, and I truly had a free night. (I wasn't going to bring girls home with my kids around) With that said... I still wasn't ready. My first outing was with a group, and there was a girl who I was specifically being introduced to. This was a fun time out, and it turned into a day that was unexpected. (See my thread on needed ego boost) This outing was at lunch, and there was zero expectations. There was a couple more like this, and they were fun. I then made a choice to not try to date around the holidays, as Xmas, and new years were always "Hook up" times when I was young. And since I'm old now... that's not what I was looking for. BUT... about a month ago... my friend set me up, and this was in the evening. It was her and her husband... and me and the girl they were setting me up with. The evening was fun, and the girl in question had a lot going for her. But something just felt wrong. I don't even know how to explain it. The evening just felt too "Real", and for some reason, I just had this lingering feeling that I was cheating or something. As I talked with friends... we all agreed that being in a relationship for 20 years... my brain was just wired to be with one person. Since then... there was a couple other times I could have gone on a one-on-one date... but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. But... any time I get a change to go out as a group, and get to meet new people... I jump at the opportunity. SO.... even though I'm totally over my ex... and even though I want to be with someone new... my brain just won't let me. Just something to consider, and good luck moving forward.
FMW Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 I divorced over 3 years ago. I immediately was involved with someone else. For the past year and a half since that ended (badly), I did consciously choose not to LOOK for a relationship for awhile. No one came along for quite a while that I felt any interest for and I was perfectly fine with that. I'm just now feeling ready to be really open to the possibility of another relationship, although I'm still not looking. There's someone right now that I am interested in and we've been spending time together, but not rushing into anything. Unless and until you feel the interest in another relationship there is absolutely no reason to worry about it. If you've had a breakup or just bad experiences in relationships you need time to just focus on yourself. You can't have a good relationship with someone else until you are good with yourself. Just focus on the here and now and let any possible new relationships in the future unfold naturally.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 After any breakup, I stay single long enough to truly get over it. I believe people who move to the next person too soon are wasting their time and their partner's time, dragging past relationship and breakup energy into the next one. I try to clear my head and heart before I start dating again.
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