Aveenolover Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 (edited) So, there's this guy at work (doesn't work in my department though) who is super cute. We've been at the same company for about 2 years now but just recently I've noticed he's (seeming) to be flirting. It started with him running over to open the door for me (even though i didn't even have anything in my hands lol). Then, he seemed to be making up excuses to come to my department. Like, walking all the way over to ask me a question instead of simply emailing. I was in the middle of asking him something and he interrupted me to tell me I smelled good. I don't know, subtle but small things. So i ended up asking if he wanted to come out with me and a few coworkers and he was super excited about it and said yes. We went out and ended up dancing together at a club. He was grinding against me and it was...super hot lol. But anyways at the end of the night, after drinking/dancing, he wanted to stop by and get something to eat from the taco truck. While he was waiting, he told me, "you can go ahead and call your uber. I'm going to eat and go home" i was a little taken aback but then i was like, "well...you're welcome to come back with me..." and he declined and said maybe another night... So I dunno i was just a little confused. I went home. He texted me in the AM to make sure i got home safely but after that i didn't hear from him. I was so confused because it seemed like he was so into me before we went out and even dancing together...he seemed to really enjoy himself. So, i decided to take a risk and a few days later i texted him and asked him if he'd be down to go on a "real date"like dinner/movies. He responded back and said, "Hey, yeah, that sounds fun! though i want to be upfront about myself--i just got out of a long term relationship a few months ago and i don't think i'm ready to start dating seriously. I don't want to cause you any problems but if you still want to go out i would be down" Sooo, i kind of read into that he'd be down to go out/casually date? fwb? Especially because he said Yes to the date? So, that following Saturday he came by my house and picked me up. He was dressed up nice. We get to the restaurant and he opens the doors for me, pulls out my chair for me, was super romantic. We talked the whole time and seemed to have a good convo, then he asked what i wanted to do after we ate. We were both talking about videogames so I offered a barcade I knew of that was fun, or we could go back to my place and play games. He opted to go back to my place. He came back. We played games (for like 2-3 hours) then he said his goodbyes and hugged me goodbye. He made no effort to get physical with me...nothing. After the date i said it was really fun and he was like, "yeah it was! We should do it again sometime soon!" THen crickets. Until Friday when he had absolutely no reason to come to my department. He came by and mentioned a game we played (that he sucked at) and said he was going to practice so can show off his skills. ANd told me to have the alcohol ready. lolol. But whyyyy? Yada Yada i ended up texting him and hes going to come over next Saturday. Is he just looking for a friend? Could this even turn sexual? At this point i really want to just make out with him because hes crazily attractive. I know he's not looking to date so i'm not asking if he will be my bf lol. But if hes just trying to be a purely platonic friend then i don't want to embarrass myself. Edited February 8, 2020 by Aveenolover typos
Fletch Lives Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 6 hours ago, Aveenolover said: though i want to be upfront about myself--i just got out of a long term relationship a few months ago and i don't think i'm ready to start dating seriously. I don't want to cause you any problems - believe him when he says this........many people fresh out of a relationship are on the rebound and not ready to love another yet........there is a high chance you'll get your heart busted if you continue to play with this guy. In fact, it's already getting to you. 6 hours ago, Aveenolover said: Sooo, i kind of read into that he'd be down to go out/casually date? fwb? Especially because he said Yes to the date? - you can't count on anything with someone on the rebound. In fact, don't count on anything until a person is in love with you. And that's not going to happen here. Sorry. 1
Mystery4u Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 You are a rebound. He has told you himself he just got out of a relationship and is not ready. He is spending time with you to help him stop thinking about his ex and try to get over her. You giving him sex on a plate will not change that. It will not make him fall in love with you and want to be in a relationship. If you keep pursuing this you will end up getting hurt. Unless you are happy to be in a FWB situation with no feelings and nothing further developing. Having been there done that, in his exact position, more than once, at some point you will want more and as mentioned, you will be the one getting hurt. If you want a real relationship find someone else who is ready. 2
Author Aveenolover Posted February 8, 2020 Author Posted February 8, 2020 Like I stated in my last paragraph--i'm not looking for a relationship or bf from him either. When he said he wasnt looking to date seriously I thought we were on the same page with wanting something casual and sexual so that's why I'm confused with it seeming to be platonic.
preraph Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 He told you he's not ready for a relationship. He may also just not be into casual sex -- especially someone he works with! I think you ought to stop hitting on him. He's obviously NOT wanting to have casual sex since he's passed up opportunities.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 Terrible idea to find a F buddy at work. 3
elaine567 Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 13 hours ago, Aveenolover said: But if hes just trying to be a purely platonic friend then i don't want to embarrass myself. I don't see any indication that he wants anything more than that.
FMW Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 This is one of those situations where you lean back and see what he does. No way to embarrass yourself if you do that (as in do nothing). That will tell you all you need to know. If he wants more than to just hang out with you platonically it will become clear.
Blind-Sided Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: Terrible idea to find a F buddy at work. I would agree 100% with this. I'm kind of in that same boat. I want to go out and have fun... maybe even have something a little physical. But I just can't bring myself to do that, because I'm not the kind of guy who wants to hurt someone. Right now... I managed to have a night without my kids. I can probably have a date with one of three girls tonight. But I'm sitting here and just can't get myself to contact any of them. So, I will probably just stay home by myself. Funny... getting a txt right now from a female friend yelling at me, and telling me to pull me head out of my butt, and go have fun. LOL Anyway... you don't want a FWB at work. You want things to progress, and he is trying to be nice. It will become one sided, and eventually become bad. Go at his pace, or break it off for your own sake. (This is coming from a man who can relate with him) Edited February 8, 2020 by Blind-Sided 1 1
smackie9 Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 Sounds like you found yourself someone that could be your wing man.
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