abc88888 Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 This woman I've been speaking with long-distance for almost a year - and we've met in real life a few times too - has suddenly ghosted me, not replying to my texts and calls. Everything was going great just before this - we had amazing dates during Christmas, I gave her a present and card which she seemed to dearly love, we were trying to schedule video calls. And now boom, she just stopped speaking with me. She's previously said she's been busy, but she hasn't replied in more than a week. Why would anyone have the heart to do this?
manfrombelow2 Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 1- LDR almost NEVER works. 2- People ghost each other all the time. 3- A woman never ghosts you unless she lost atracttion for you, which is something you can only blame yourself. My advice: Leave her alone (because that's what she WANTS). Go out and date multiple women at once so you won't get "one-itis" syndrome.
Fletch Lives Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 Sorry about that, but meeting a few times a year is not much of a relationship, and most long distance things don't work out. Why not date locally?
Mystery4u Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 It's been one year? And you still refer to her as a 'date' and 'a woman I've been speaking with'? Like what on Earth? Are you seriously not in a proper official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship after one year?
Author abc88888 Posted February 7, 2020 Author Posted February 7, 2020 5 minutes ago, Mystery4u said: It's been one year? And you still refer to her as a 'date' and 'a woman I've been speaking with'? Like what on Earth? Are you seriously not in a proper official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship after one year? It's long distance, we didn't have the chance to meet often, so I've been taking things slow...
Mystery4u Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 (edited) 13 minutes ago, abc88888 said: It's long distance, we didn't have the chance to meet often, so I've been taking things slow... Oh dear. Have you slept together and had sex when you have met? I've been in 2 LDR's in my life (met them both in real life first time no online rubbish). UK -> Brazil and UK -> USA. First ex, we saw each other every 5/6 months (early twenties, not much holidays or £$), second ex, every 5/6 weeks (late twenties, lots of holidays and more $£). In both of the scenarios though I asked them to be my girlfriend within 1 month of meeting them. There was absolutely no way I was going to start a LDR with someone that I'm not in an official relationship with. You have been taking things WAY too slow. What are you waiting for? All this time you have been 'talking' what's to have stopped her going out on dates, seeing other guys, that are there right in front of her? Nothing. You should be at the stage where you are planning and working towards an end goal so you can be together, either you moving or her moving. Unless something has happened to her and that's the reason she has stopped replying (hopefully not, don't wish bad health on anyone) then she has probably met someone who she can actually have a real relationship with. Edited February 7, 2020 by Mystery4u
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 26 minutes ago, abc88888 said: It's long distance, we didn't have the chance to meet often, so I've been taking things slow... Yeah, LDR are less forgivable when taking things slow if you are not meeting frequently enough. I have been in a few and the other person (and you) are almost always keeping an eye out for someone local, more closer. Unless you are serious and moving in the direction of one or the other or both making a move to be closer, it will most likely fail.
Author abc88888 Posted February 7, 2020 Author Posted February 7, 2020 Thanks for the feedback, agreed with you. The problem in my case is that we briefly met in real life (there wasn't attraction between us then), reconnected online via video calls and then a few dates when we managed to land at the same city. Unfortunately, I felt there wasn't enough foundation yet for me to ask her to be my girlfriend...
Daisydooks Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 (edited) 22 minutes ago, abc88888 said: Unfortunately, I felt there wasn't enough foundation yet for me to ask her to be my girlfriend... She ghosted you because she feels like you're wasting her time and you are not serious. She probably felt that meeting over Christmas would have turned things around but you left and went home making absolutely no plans/changes and you have yet to find a reason to ask her to even date you seriously after an ENTIRE year. Lol. Come on. You are sincerely wondering why shes ghosting you? Its easy. She is as serious about you as you are about her. Plain and simple. You answered your own question here. This is why she ghosted you. Completely. You're dilly dallying and have made no solid plan for the future. She doesn't want to waste yet another year of her life chatting online and I cant blame her. How boring is that? Edited February 7, 2020 by Daisydooks
chillii Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, Mystery4u said: It's been one year? And you still refer to her as a 'date' and 'a woman I've been speaking with'? Like what on Earth? Are you seriously not in a proper official boyfriend/girlfriend relationship after one year? Haaaa, that the first thing l was thinking. Sounds like he's talking about a stranger. Anyway op no one here can know what's happened to her , only guess the same as you. Edited February 7, 2020 by chillii
kendahke Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 10 hours ago, abc88888 said: This woman I've been speaking with long-distance for almost a year - and we've met in real life a few times too - has suddenly ghosted me, not replying to my texts and calls. Everything was going great just before this - we had amazing dates during Christmas, I gave her a present and card which she seemed to dearly love, we were trying to schedule video calls. And now boom, she just stopped speaking with me. She's previously said she's been busy, but she hasn't replied in more than a week. Why would anyone have the heart to do this? Either her phone/internet service got cut off or someone closer to where she lives is able to deliver on daily contact whereas you aren't and because of the distance, it's simple for her to go back to "used to didn't know you" status without having to face you about it.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 My guess is she got tired of the distance and someone else closer to her has caught her eye.
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