Logo Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 After how many dates, weeks or months and how long was each date that you felt you were ready to say I love you to your partner? Was the timeframe different with past significant others?
alphamale Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 I am usually comfortable with dropping the L-Bomb in between 3 and 6 months of regular dating. I've never said it earlier than 3 months, well maybe once.
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 I don't exactly remember. To be fair, I fell for my husband pretty quickly. I was halfway gone before he ever even put the moves on me, just from watching him chop firewood. The relationship was "mutually casual" but neither of us was seeing anyone else. But I THINK like, after 2-3 months, when it became the established norm for me to sneak into his room every night, I let it slip one night while I was cuddled up and drifting off to sleep - just because I felt like it. I felt like he'd appreciate it even if he didn't say it back - and right I was! 1
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 With my first husband I REALLY have no idea because we basically grew up together. I'm sure I probably told him I loved him before we ever got together, same on his end. Saying it after we got together wasn't that noteworthy.
lana-banana Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 (edited) Right at the 7-month mark. We were laying in bed the day after Valentine's Day and he was looking at me very thoughtfully and intently, then finally just said it. Not a total shock; he'd said "je t'aime" a few months prior. Both of us had around the same time frames with other partners, too. I think 6-8 months is pretty common for healthy adults. If it's sooner than that it usually means the relationship is moving too fast, and if it hasn't been said by around 9 months it's probably not going to happen at all. Edited February 7, 2020 by lana-banana 1
major_merrick Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 I have a hard time with the "three little words." I don't say them easily. With my husband, IDK how long it was. We had been friends for years, and FWB for a while, then it transitioned to dating. So probably several months into our sexual relationship. With my GF#1, it was a bit different. I was absolutely smitten from Day 1. It was probably a month or two, and she was cautious for a bit before saying it back. Definitely long before we ever had sex, though.
Gaeta Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 BF and I dated 2-3 times a week till our 4th month, then we took a trip to my parents and when we came back he started saying things like 'no wonder I am falling for you', and things like ' that's why I am in love with this woman' then one day I replied to these with 'I love you too'. We had hit our 5th month. I don't believe in early ILY.
skywriter Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 It was years, before I said I love you, to any potential life partner. I did, however show love, in my actions towards them.
Daisydooks Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 17 hours ago, Logo said: After how many dates, weeks or months and how long was each date that you felt you were ready to say I love you to your partner? Was the timeframe different with past significant others? My fiance told me he thought he was in love with me before he even met me. Wayyyy! Sooooon! Haha. The actual, real, solid love we have built over the years together on those initial lusty lovey feelings is real and has been for a very long time... but it was a stretch to throw I love yous around early. I think he knew we had an amazing bond before we ever physically met. I think he knew his potential to love me very quickly, but I dont think he loved me that quickly. Maybe he did! Haha We showed love very quickly. I said it back after a few months. We have been together over 6 years, living together for 1.5 years and we are getting married in June. If that matters?
SumGuy Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 I may feel it, and will certainly act it, but won't say it until feel really know her well and even then not before 6 months and a weekend away together, several overnights, etc.. Now I may say "I think I'm falling in love with you" a little sooner. Also a large part of it is I usually wait at least 4-6 months (like a good 2+ dozen dates) before introducing a woman I've dated to my kids. It makes a big difference to me how she interacts with them, which can be a deal breaker.
carhill Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 22 hours ago, Logo said: After how many dates, weeks or months and how long was each date that you felt you were ready to say I love you to your partner? Was the timeframe different with past significant others? Pretty consistent, 4-6 weeks of dating and before sexual consummation, presuming strangers prior to meeting, as nearly all my lovers/partners/spouse were. 1
SumGuy Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 22 minutes ago, carhill said: Pretty consistent, 4-6 weeks of dating and before sexual consummation, presuming strangers prior to meeting, as nearly all my lovers/partners/spouse were. You say it before sexual consummation?
hippychick3 Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 My fiance told me at 4 1/2 months "I love you." He had been making several remarks with the word "love" in there for a few weeks before this....probably warming up to actually saying it. He would say things like "that's what I love about you" or "I love when you do that." When he finally said "I love you," I was on cloud 9. I felt it too and was just waiting for him to say it first.
d0nnivain Posted February 7, 2020 Posted February 7, 2020 My then new BF of about 3 months had literally just thrown up all over me & everyone else in the back of my friend's car. She pulled into a truck stop & as I was sprinting away from him to get to a ladies' room to clean off the puke so I didn't hurl too, he yelled I love you at me across the parking lot. We have been married for almost 12 years 1
BaileyB Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 About six months. It totally slipped out one night, we were saying goodnight and I told him “I love you” and then proceeded to panic and close the door. He still teases me about it to this day... 1
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 Had to think for a bit to remember the first time my husband said "I love you" to me. It was easily a full 10 months into our relationship. Loooong after I said it for the first time. AFTER he decided he was going to stick around to be with me (he'd been planning to move). So he was definitely more cautious about it than I was. An awful lot of his actions said "I love you" prior to that, though.
carhill Posted February 8, 2020 Posted February 8, 2020 On 2/7/2020 at 12:20 PM, SumGuy said: You say it before sexual consummation? Yes, for myself sex is an expression of love and attachment rather than love being an outgrowth of sex, hence very few sexual partners and one spouse. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted February 9, 2020 Posted February 9, 2020 The first moment I laid eyes on her.... She was a captivating beauty...What a stunning presence and when I finally caught my breath, I reached to her and took her small body into my waiting strong arms...We embraced for a moment and gently kissed her on the forehead..... So I went to the counter at the shelter and paid the adoption fees, and left with her....We have been inseparable since... (true story) TFY 1
mark clemson Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 Right away on the first date. No seriously, I actually don't remember. Oh well. It's been 23 years so something's working...
2BGoodAgain Posted February 10, 2020 Posted February 10, 2020 don't laugh but i try to say it after an orgasm...never before. and not right after, but when i'm not in any sort of physical need of anything. I'm sure it differs for men out there, but for me, that's how i know i love someone... when after the sex, i'm still like..yeah, i want to make babies with her, and i can imagine myself with her day in day out, and yeah, she's who i think about when i wake and when i'm about to sleep. the reason is that a lot of guys say it during lust, and confuse it for love... so if you're baiting a guy, or ask a guy before sex...that's like the WORST time to ask, b/c he will say anything to be with you. and in case you're wondering.. men are in lust 70-99% of the time. lol.
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