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can too much build up be a bad thing?


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Posted

I've been flirting via text with a man I haven't met. We plan to meet for NSA sex but it keeps getting put off (by both of us for valid reasons). In the meantime we chat and flirt. I share pics & stories of naughty things I've been up to. Of course I'm sharing the sexiest side of me but it's gone on so long now I fear his expectation is too high and he'll be disappointed that I'm fairly ordinary or if it isn't the best thing he's ever had. I've tried to dampen his expectations a little but he thinks I'm just being modest.

I know anticipation and a build up can enhance an encounter but can too much be a bad thing?

Question particularly for the men - have you ever had a situation where you built up very high expectations of sex with a new partner and you were disappointed it was fairly ordinary?

Posted
11 minutes ago, Kyra said:

I've been flirting via text with a man I haven't met. We plan to meet for NSA sex but it keeps getting put off (by both of us for valid reasons). In the meantime we chat and flirt. I share pics & stories of naughty things I've been up to. Of course I'm sharing the sexiest side of me but it's gone on so long now I fear his expectation is too high and he'll be disappointed that I'm fairly ordinary or if it isn't the best thing he's ever had. I've tried to dampen his expectations a little but he thinks I'm just being modest.

i know anticipation and a build up can enhance an encounter but can too much be a bad thing?

Question particularly for the men - have you ever had a situation where you built up very high expectations of sex with a new partner and you were disappointed it was fairly ordinary?

It can if you don’t deliver. 

Better knock it out the park !  

 

Posted

Absolutely you can have too much buildup. You can go so far that at meeting doesn't live up to the hype.

Enjoy the texting-sexting as its own thing. Don't assume it means anything about a powerful connection once you meet.

 

Posted

Only if one of you don't feel it...

When I was single and did OLD I fell into doing this type of thing once or twice till we met and there was no spark.. so I stopped doing it, then I just moved to meeting quicker if I made a connection online so as to not fall into that trap again.

IMO, if you are after a relationship then don't have sex with him.. if you don't care then move in the direction you are going and hope for sparks..

 

 

 

Posted

Yep it can

for a first date conversation is critical.you need stuff to talk about.

 

if you are flirting as you have sex is probably expected now. If one ends up being shy for a first meet it can be read as no interest.

Posted

Certainly seems like it would cause awkwardness when you do meet. Kind of puts the pressure on when you don’t even know if you’re attracted to each other irl 

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