Ashers Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 This maybe the wrong spot, apologize & if needed moved. But I'm dating a guy who admitted he hasn't been in a relationship for a couple (3) years - yes that doesn't mean he hasn't had sex, well aware of that. Anyway a couple of days ago during some light flirting at a coffee shop his response to something I said was outlandishly sexual; more what you'd expect between intimidate people (we haven't been). I am wondering if 'sexual frustration', which I've heard can change people's moods e.g. irritable, & flirting (with a good looking gal) brought it on or if that's a hint as to why he hasn't had relationships. For the record I am not leading him on or anything. It was light flirting. I am interested in him. But, if that is his actual persona, I am not interested in being pressured or coerced into sex.
Author Ashers Posted February 5, 2020 Author Posted February 5, 2020 7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: What did he say, exactly? Oh jeez. Something about his cock was hard & he'd have to go 'play with himself in the bathroom'. 1 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 8 minutes ago, Ashers said: Oh jeez. Something about his cock was hard & he'd have to go 'play with himself in the bathroom'. Oy. What was the context of his response? Probably doesn't matter. Yeah, people do and can say some impetuous things when frustrated/jaded or dismissive about relationships, in general.
FMW Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 Yikes. I think he's just socially awkward. He probably wants to progress to intimacy with you but is totally clueless about how to make that happen.
Author Ashers Posted February 5, 2020 Author Posted February 5, 2020 53 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: Oy. What was the context of his response? Probably doesn't matter. Yeah, people do and can say some impetuous things when frustrated/jaded or dismissive about relationships, in general. The context, if you would, was more playful banter - I didn't find it even a bit arousing - than anything worth that sort of a response. 2 minutes ago, FMW said: Yikes. I think he's just socially awkward. He probably wants to progress to intimacy with you but is totally clueless about how to make that happen. It is possible. He carries himself well enough in public but if he is so awkward that may explain the lack of relationships.
Lorenza Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 Oh ew, way too explicit. Sexual frustration doesn't give a green light to not containing yourself, that's just lack of tact 11
Aus Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 Ugh, nothing turns me off more than sexual innuendo out of context. It's almost like receiving a dick pic when you just sent an innocent selfie. So, based on your "frustration" theory, he is unable to control himself by blurting out tourette like utterances not really relating to the discussion Does he text his mom that? Speak to his boss like that? "Flirting"is not an excuse to take it down to the gutter. He's testing your boundaries, make sure they're firmly in place Texting etiquette is almost more important than table manners nowadays. 2
Blind-Sided Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 (edited) Well... unfortunately, now you know why he hasn't been in a relationship in 3 years. He's a D-bag. In my life, there have been a bunch of times I've not been in a relationship... and yes... there are dry spells with those times. But NEVER... have I said something like that to a prospective GF. Heck... I wouldn't even say something like that to someone I was in an actual relationship with. That kind of direct, and blunt comment is what you say to your buddies after seeing some hot chick. (as a crude joke) I'm very sure he was hoping you were the kind who would just want a "Hook-up", and that kind of comment will trigger it. Being sexually frustrated doesn't cause someone to become someone they already aren't. It's not like being drunk, and losing a little control. Edited February 5, 2020 by Blind-Sided 6 1
K.K. Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 2 hours ago, Ashers said: Oh jeez. Something about his cock was hard & he'd have to go 'play with himself in the bathroom'.
Gaeta Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 2 hours ago, Ashers said: Oh jeez. Something about his cock was hard & he'd have to go 'play with himself in the bathroom'. Pervert. A man interested in getting to know you wouldn't say a thing like this in fear to turn you off and ruin his chances of seeing you again. He's only interested in getting in your pants. Inexcusable, we are in 2020 and supposedly civilized now. 5 1
preraph Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 2nd vote for pervert. Straight up pervert. No boundaries and could even be a sex offender because of his lack of boundaries. Run. 4
sothereiwas Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 2 hours ago, Ashers said: Oh jeez. Something about his cock was hard & he'd have to go 'play with himself in the bathroom'. Pretty blunt and childish really. Is he young and really that dumb? I can think of several explanations for this behavior but I suspect the bottom line is, if you can't tolerate this then don't. Easy, and might teach him a life lesson.
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 (edited) He's been having plenty of sex....with the palm twins on a daily basis. So no him mentioning it is in poor taste. I would be turned off and say bubb-bye. Edited February 5, 2020 by smackie9 2 1
sothereiwas Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 1 minute ago, preraph said: Probably while peeping in someone's window. Honestly, that's a pretty vile accusation, have to point out. He might be a decent but stupid person. 1
smackie9 Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 I suspect it was a joke and n 1 minute ago, sothereiwas said: Honestly, that's a pretty vile accusation, have to point out. He might be a decent but stupid person. I suspect it was a joke. 1 1
Ellener Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 'Does being 'sexually frustrated' make people say (or do) stupid' things' Yes, it would appear so! 3 hours ago, Ashers said: between intimidate people 'Freudian slip'. 3 hours ago, Ashers said: I am not interested in being pressured or coerced into sex. Good, because you don't have to be if you live in a free country ( and I know not everyone does here on this forum, a humbling thought ) I got this attitude too from a guy who I was initially impressed with because he wandered over bravely and asked for my number in a supermarket of all places...but every few days ( I presume when he was drunk ) he would send me explicit short text messages, I called him to ask about it and he texted back 'don't call me, we're not that close!' and I texted back 'then why on earth would you think we should be having sex?'! He dropped it off then, but the next time ( I presume ) he was drunk and/or 'bragadocious' he sent me another explicit text message. I told him I will send this out to everyone on my phone the next time you do this, and don't be surprised if people get annoyed with you...haven't heard from him since. He was a big, ripped guy, so he should have known women aren't just going to put themselves in intimate situations with him. But he had zero intention to get to know me better or be out in public either. He was expressing inappropriate sexual frustration. I hope I responded kindly but firmly. No. 1
OnlyHonesty Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 Yes it's possible that sexual frustration will have such an effect, but only if the person has not mastered self control and transmutation, or channeling of the energy.
preraph Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 There was a guy who talked like that where I worked back in the dark ages. He wasn't all talk either. He was married with kids and kept up a sexual diatribe with everyone he met, pretty much. And he was manager over a small department, where he actually fired one girl who worked under him for changing her hair color to one he didn't like. Where there's smoke, there's fire. 1
preraph Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 I'm not sure about that. Women don't like gross crass guys as a rule.
Author Ashers Posted February 5, 2020 Author Posted February 5, 2020 (edited) 19 minutes ago, carhill said: Tom Brady would get a pass Why? I find him to be an ugly ill educated low browed contributes nothing of real value to society neanderthal the likes of which I wouldn't touch with a barge pole if he was the last man on earth. But then not every woman is a trollop with little to no standards. Edited February 5, 2020 by Ashers 1 1
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