FaithInTheDark Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 So I’ve been seeing this guy for only 3 weeks and we’ve gone on 4 dates. we keep in regular contact, and things seem to be going pretty good, as we know Valentine’s Day is coming up soon and I’m wondering is it appropriate to celebrate this early on? personally, the last 2 years I was single during this holiday ...now that I’m kinda seeing someone I’d like to do something . Nothing extravagant but, maybe go have dinner. Even though I want to celebrate with him, He personally might think it’s way too early for this sort of thing. i might wish him a happy valentine via text but will leave it up to him to ask me out on a date. Admittedly, lol I know I’ll be disappointed if he doesn’t ask me. Maybe even a validation of his intentions. but I’m wondering if I’d even have a right to be disappointed because it’s so early into seeing each other...what’s your thoughts on early stages of dating and celebrating Valentine’s Day? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 go to CVS and buy him a valentines day card and mail it to him. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FaithInTheDark Posted February 4, 2020 Author Share Posted February 4, 2020 1 minute ago, alphamale said: go to CVS and buy him a valentines day card and mail it to him. Haha seriously Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 (edited) Yeah. It’s really awkward. I’m talking to three guys at the moment. Earlyish stages. Two have already hinted at getting gifts for me. x.x but I’m actually the most interested in the last one who I meet this weekend...I still doubt I want to spend Valentine’s Day with him. There are so many unnecessary expectations on these holidays. I don’t know what to get. I’ll probably have to. I give gifts anyway for no reason just when I get inspired. I like to. I don’t like being forced. I wish this commercial bs didn’t exist. Edited February 4, 2020 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 Once when I was in a similar dating situation I bought or made (can't recall) cards from his two dogs writing a sweet little note from each dog that correlated to the dogs personality. And made cookies to go with them, as if they were from his pets. So it was a lighthearted gesture. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FaithInTheDark Posted February 4, 2020 Author Share Posted February 4, 2020 8 minutes ago, alphamale said: go to CVS and buy him a valentines day card and mail it to him. I actually like this idea now I think it it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 12 minutes ago, alphamale said: go to CVS and buy him a valentines day card and mail it to him. This is what I would have suggested... not a romantic card, though. Something amusing & playful that says Happy Valentines Day. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 I'm in the same situation (I'm the guy). We've been dating just a month... but very limited, due to her a daughter with special needs who is going through a difficult time. I know there's no obligation, but I'd like to do something, and I'm sure she'd be disappointed if I didn't offer. I am hesitant to book a restaurant with a V-Day special event because there's a too much chance she'd have to cancel. And the relationship isn't established (no sex or anything). I like her a lot, but this thing with her daughter is making it impossible. I've been alone the last two V-days as well, and I'd like not to be this time. I think she would too, but... ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 (edited) 13 minutes ago, salparadise said: I'm in the same situation (I'm the guy). We've been dating just a month... but very limited, due to her a daughter with special needs who is going through a difficult time. Maybe some flowers (multi color roses, not red) for the woman and a teddy bear for the child?? Many years ago, an ex-girlfriend of mine was going through cancer treatments (we were still friendly-ish), so I sent multi-colored roses for each Valentines Day (until her death). Multi-colored were nice without saying "love" and they made her feel good. Edited February 4, 2020 by Happy Lemming 8 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 46 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: This is what I would have suggested... not a romantic card, though. Something amusing & playful that says Happy Valentines Day. agreed Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 1 hour ago, salparadise said: I'm in the same situation (I'm the guy). We've been dating just a month... but very limited, due to her a daughter with special needs who is going through a difficult time. I know there's no obligation, but I'd like to do something... Would you enjoy getting a meal from a nice restaurant and taking it to her house for her and her daughter to share with you? Maybe for fun get some of those paper table decorations of hearts that fold out into 3D? Not sure of the daughter's age but she may really like the Valentine's decorations, too! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FaithInTheDark Posted February 4, 2020 Author Share Posted February 4, 2020 1 hour ago, salparadise said: I'm in the same situation (I'm the guy). We've been dating just a month... but very limited, due to her a daughter with special needs who is going through a difficult time. I know there's no obligation, but I'd like to do something, and I'm sure she'd be disappointed if I didn't offer. I am hesitant to book a restaurant with a V-Day special event because there's a too much chance she'd have to cancel. And the relationship isn't established (no sex or anything). I like her a lot, but this thing with her daughter is making it impossible. I've been alone the last two V-days as well, and I'd like not to be this time. I think she would too, but... ugh. Well maybe just throw it out there, “if you’re free Valentine’s Day let’s grab something to eat” but prepare she might have to cancel Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 2 hours ago, FaithInTheDark said: So I’ve been seeing this guy for only 3 weeks and we’ve gone on 4 dates. we keep in regular contact, and things seem to be going pretty good,as we know I'm not a traditionalist at all ... but you know ... I don't think you should send him anything but literally perhaps a card ... Let HIM initiate something. I can't really tell based on your few sentences if you guys are really going anywhere. "Regular contact" and "things seem to be going pretty good" ... that ain't quite saying much--not at all ... I would sit back and let him take the initiative ... see if he he contacts you about V-Day and respond if you want. Just sit back. A guy who is into you ... will take some initiative here ... Have the CVS card ready for if and when he comes to pick you up ... or you meet out at dinner. Otherwise, don't send. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author FaithInTheDark Posted February 4, 2020 Author Share Posted February 4, 2020 (edited) I agree after thinking about it. well it’s too early to say, we’re been out twice, he wouldn’t let me pay for anything, he gifted me an item from a store he owns which I thought was nice. two times we went out and the other two he came over here to watch movies, (movies my suggestion because it’s been snowing like crazy and I’ve actually had more fun at my house) so we’ve been each other a little over once a week. he has said nice things saying he is really happy we met, but again those are just words, actions are the main thing. I do admit the consistency of his texting sucks. He even said last time “I’m sorry if I don’t text you right away, I get so busy at the store and realize it’s later in the day and grab my phone to message you” but the past two days it took him 8 hours of text me back, he said good morning today and pretty minimal text since...that lack of consistency via text makes me feel a bit insecure but I’m trying not to let it, and I mirror his timing but taking a couple hours to text myself. he does reach out though and suggests seeing each other, then we plan out hang outs, I figure in person contact is what counts? But you’re right, he’s the guy, he should initiate asking me out on Valentine’s Day and I will hold off on sending any card, maybe unless I plan on seeing him. Edited February 4, 2020 by FaithInTheDark 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ljwentworth32 Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 so i'm a guy and i'm in almost same situation as OP. Don't want to seem overly needy and honestly don't even know if she celebrates it. not sure how to proceed. should i just bring it up as a conversation topic next time i see her and gauge if she's even that into v-day before planning something? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 29 minutes ago, ljwentworth32 said: so i'm a guy and i'm in almost same situation as OP. Don't want to seem overly needy and honestly don't even know if she celebrates it. not sure how to proceed. should i just bring it up as a conversation topic next time i see her and gauge if she's even that into v-day before planning something? Just ask her out to dinner on V Day. This is not needy. It's manly and sexy. She's free to decline. To the OP, I'd see if he asks you. I once went on a 2nd dinner date for V Day and it was soooo sweet and romantic. And to all the men who do nice things for single lady friends on V Day, y'all are awesome as hell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 2 hours ago, ljwentworth32 said: so i'm a guy and i'm in almost same situation as OP. Don't want to seem overly needy and honestly don't even know if she celebrates it. not sure how to proceed. should i just bring it up as a conversation topic next time i see her and gauge if she's even that into v-day before planning something? Definitely ask her to dinner! IMO it would be odd for a guy I'm seeing for a few weeks not to do something for V day. Doesn't have to mean you're in love with her. These days plenty of people celebrate Valentine's Day who aren't in a romantic relationship even. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 Should he give her a gift though? And is it rude of her if she doesn’t get him one Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 Early days, no gift necessary, though a small bouquet of flowers and/or mini box of chocolates never hurts. Most girls love this stuff. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 (edited) To OP: I think your plan is good -- just wait and see if he asks you out. (Since it's on a Friday this year, there's a decent chance he might ask you out anyway.) It's very hard in the early stages because you don't really know how they feel about you, how they feel about Valentine's Day (some people might view it as no big deal to go out that night, others might view it as a big step), etc. I think better safe than sorry. No gift at this stage, but a card (not sappy or romantic) would be fine, or a small box of chocolates (Godiva has those cute 4 packs). And don't mail anything (eek) -- just bring it in your purse if you see him, and give it to him if he gives you something. Do not give it to him if he doesn't have anything for you. I think the guy should initiate the date and the card/gifts at this early stage of dating. Edited February 4, 2020 by clia 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramallama Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 I think Valentine's is a minefield even when you have been seeing someone a while! I'm 5 months into an exclusive but not yet official relationship. I sent him a pic of a funny (v rude) valentine's card I saw in town and told him he can recycle it at the appropriate time (he laughed) which imo signals I'm expecting acknowledgement of the day if not a big fuss. I'll have my daughter anyway and I know he spent last v-day with his daughter so we're more likely to see each other on the 15th. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 He should have mentioned something by now don't you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 5 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: Early days, no gift necessary, though a small bouquet of flowers and/or mini box of chocolates never hurts. Most girls love this stuff. Do you think she needs to have a gift for him as well? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 7 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Do you think she needs to have a gift for him as well? nope, just sex would be good enough for most men 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 (edited) A low key acknowledgement is in order. Buy a funny -- not romantic -- card that says very little more then Happy Valentine's Day & some sort of chocolate or a bottle of wine; if you are a good baker making some cookies or cupcakes work too. Spend around $20. It's about acknowledging that the Hallmark holiday exists, not impressing anybody or pouring on the pressure with elaborate plans or expensive gifts. As a woman who was concerned about not being disappointed or worse the guy not knowing what to do because it is early in the relationship & therefore awkward, I'd probably open the conversation on a light hearted note by point blank jokingly asking "so regarding the elephant that is sneaking around the room, what are we doing about the upcoming Hallmark holiday? I don't know about you but I can't stand the fact that every florist jacks up their prices & all the restaurants are packed but I love heart shaped boxes of cheap milk chocolate." That is literally how I feel about the holiday. My husband knows that I actually prefer he buy me a BIG box of said chocolate on Feb 15 when it's 1/2 price & that I will be annoyed if he buys me overpriced roses. 11 months of the year I love flowers but not February. lol Talk to your SOs & come up with a plan. Edited February 4, 2020 by d0nnivain 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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