BJP1991 Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 Girl I’ve seen three times has started initiating texts more with me between dates just getting text convo going, etc. We have a date planned for the weekend (making dinner at home together). She texted today asking about my weekend, exchanged a few texts, told her I want to hear about this story she told me via text when I see her, didn’t ask a question just ended my text with a statement. Wondering if it could come off as cold if I am saying anything like “Can’t wait to hear about it when I see you!”, rather than asking a different question or stating something else to keep convo open. I think it could be interpreted negatively, like I don’t want to text her until we see one another in person, which isn’t true. Thoughts? When you text a girl between dates or hangouts, do you always try to keep it going? Or just make more statements than questions and do more conversating in person? I’m also not huge on texting, but my texts are light/kind hearted and don’t usually waste time with nonsense/Bulls***. Mostly just don’t want to come off like I’m not interested or rude/dickish or like I don’t want her texting me or whatever.
Miss Spider Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 (edited) Not really. Doesn’t seem rude to me. I think you’re overthinking it a bit. Edited February 3, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 Texting between dates gives me a feel for how interested a person is. I don't mean obsessive texting, just a few a day. Usually if a guy barely texted me in between, he wasn't super interested. There also has to be a balance, too much texting, the person could be desperate or controlling.
preraph Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 If you text every bit of news before the date, what on earth are you going to have left to talk about? I could see that getting really awkward. Every sentence beginning with, "I was going to tell you about the movie, but I already did." It's nuts to keep up a running dialogue. No one should be that insecure they have to have that. You're also setting a precedent, because how you start out is how it will need to continue.
Kyra Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 I think your response was pretty good, though it could be worded with more enthusiasm. How she takes it will depend partly on how you generally interact with her, and partly on her own experience, maturity and insecurity. The frequency of texts between dates will be taken by her as an indication of how interested you are - as well as your tone and whether you ever initiate or only respond. It is a good idea to keep stories for when you meet - though I find it hard to wait that long to share. You could also say, "That sounds really interesting, please tell me all about it at dinner on Friday. I've got to focus on work/cooking/etc now. Chat later."
manfrombelow2 Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 You DO NOT text between fixed dates. Period. If your date, for whatever reasons, actively texts you between fixed dates, you can reply briefly as an act of courtesy because you are a polite and well-mannered man (hopefully), but you also DO NOT prolong the texting. You have to make them brief. So, to sum it up, you DO NOT text between fixed dates. Period.
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 12 minutes ago, thaygiaogiang said: You DO NOT text between fixed dates. Period. If your date, for whatever reasons, actively texts you between fixed dates, you can reply briefly as an act of courtesy because you are a polite and well-mannered man (hopefully), but you also DO NOT prolong the texting. You have to make them brief. So, to sum it up, you DO NOT text between fixed dates. Period. Why are you so adamantly opposed to texting between fixed dates? Do you mean at the start of a relationship only or ever after?
manfrombelow2 Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, LivingWaterPlease said: Why are you so adamantly opposed to texting between fixed dates? Do you mean at the start of a relationship only or ever after? You are giving me two questions. Here are my answers: 1- I oppose texting between fixed dates because texting between fixed dates is a bad idea. It kills the vibe. It destroys the subconscious excitement and anticipation (from both parties). It leaves no room for "mistery". And finally, when you two finally meet, there is no more to talk about, because everything that could have been talked about was already dealt with during the texting. 2- I meant ESPECIALLY for the beginning of a POTENTIAL relationship. And this also applies to an established one too. Even when two people are officially together, texting should always be kept at a minimum - but again, this should belong to another topic, not this one. 1
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 41 minutes ago, thaygiaogiang said: You are giving me two questions. Here are my answers: 1- I oppose texting between fixed dates because texting between fixed dates is a bad idea. It kills the vibe. It destroys the subconscious excitement and anticipation (from both parties). It leaves no room for "mistery". And finally, when you two finally meet, there is no more to talk about, because everything that could have been talked about was already dealt with during the texting. 2- I meant ESPECIALLY for the beginning of a POTENTIAL relationship. And this also applies to an established one too. Even when two people are officially together, texting should always be kept at a minimum - but again, this should belong to another topic, not this one. Thanks for taking the time to give me some good answers that make sense! However, I love it when a guy texts me a lot because I'm a great listener and I like chatty guys. Although I can see your point for some people I provide plenty of mystery while chatting a lot. And I find guys who chat with me a lot entertaining, very warm and inviting IF they're interesting. If not, I wouldn't be going out with them in the first place. 1
manfrombelow2 Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, LivingWaterPlease said: Thanks for taking the time to give me some good answers that make sense! However, I love it when a guy texts me a lot because I'm a great listener and I like chatty guys. Although I can see your point for some people I provide plenty of mystery while chatting a lot. And I find guys who chat with me a lot entertaining, very warm and inviting IF they're interesting. If not, I wouldn't be going out with them in the first place. The bold part: This is where everything gets fatal. You THINK you "love it when a guy texts you a lot", but you actually prefer a guy who doesn't. This is a nature of women. What they think they want and what they actually want don't match. Few men out there know this though. 1
elaine567 Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 The no texting strategy is a strategy used by some men to filter out the desperate. They like to be in control and have the upper hand. Desperate woman will put up with just about anything... Any woman with options and a good sense of her own worth is going to bin a guy who shows so little interest. And BTW @thaygiaogiang thanks for telling us women, what women really want...
manfrombelow2 Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: And BTW @thaygiaogiang thanks for telling us women, what women really want... You are very welcome, lady! One more thing: A guy who does not want to engage in texing between fixed dates IS NOT EQUAL TO "a guy who shows so little interest". On the contrary, like I said, when a guy does not enthusiastically text you between fixed dates, he ACTUALLY is doing the both of you a favour. So please, at least say thank him before deeming him "a guy who shows so little interest."
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 2 hours ago, thaygiaogiang said: The bold part: This is where everything gets fatal. You THINK you "love it when a guy texts you a lot", but you actually prefer a guy who doesn't. This is a nature of women. What they think they want and what they actually want don't match. Few men out there know this though. Lol, I know what I like. You must be very young.
manfrombelow2 Posted February 6, 2020 Posted February 6, 2020 Just now, LivingWaterPlease said: Lol, I know what I like. You must be very young. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you a perfect example of ad hominem fallacy. But you are excused, because I am not offended. No need to thank me.
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