skinut2234 Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 just looking for advice... divorced over a year- 3 kids ( 22-21-19)- All in college- Everything was routine for the mot part- now the ex found out i am dating someone.... She has now seemed to have a delayed reaction and is extremely pissed- She has now made it her mission to ruin my life- I don't care is she hates me or wanted to call me names- What I care about is her spewing off to the kids when I am not there- The question is - do I let it go and insure my relationship with kids is good (which it seems to be)- or confront her at some point and tell her to knock it off?
Author skinut2234 Posted February 3, 2020 Author Posted February 3, 2020 Years of differences. I initiated it but we both decided it was best. There were no other people involved and no infidelity. She would have stayed in the marriage but was overall not healthy
schlumpy Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 I say avoid a confrontation and rely on the kids to intuitively understand the situation. She wants the confrontation. 5
vla1120 Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 I remember the first time I saw my husband with his girlfriend. Even though I was the one who initiated the divorce, it still stung. I can only imagine that, since she would have stayed in the marriage, the "sting" she's feeling is even more acute. The divorce is water under the bridge and you cannot control her or what she says to your kids. Just make sure you keep your good relationship with your kids intact and DON'T talk to them about this. Even if they bring it up, just respond with how unfortunate the situation is and that hopefully their mother will find her own road to happiness soon. Your kids are old enough to recognize that their mother bashing their father is not a good thing and it will eventually catch up with her since they will see you taking the high road. 2
elaine567 Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 She wanted to stay married, you wanted the divorce, now you have a new gf. She was never going to be happy about it. She is now in "a woman scorned" mode. Hell hath no fury... I suppose your relationship with your kids will depend on what their thoughts on the divorce are, whether they want to take sides or whether they try to be neutral... As they are adults then I doubt she can persuade them to hate you, but if they feel their mother got a raw deal, they may decide to take her side anyway... You have no control over that. If you try to go in with the heavy handed stuff then you may be seen as even more of a "bad guy" ...
preraph Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 Don't let her suck you in to interacting more with her. Just go on about your life. Be sure you keep her off your social media. If you need a social media she can see for the kids (at their age, I doubt it) then do a separate one. The less she knows about your personal life and you hers, the better.
Lotsgoingon Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 Exactly how is she ruining your life? I can't give you any advice until I know some particulars. Like is she slashing your car tires? Taking out credit cards in your name? What exactly is she doing? 1
Blind-Sided Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 Welllllllll...................... I just went through some of that. No, I don't have a GF at the moment, but the EX used a lot of lies to break up our family, and try to destroy me, and the relationship with my oldest daughter. I can say this... kids are smarter than we give them credit for. DO NOT confront her, and try to intercept her actions/speech. Remain active in your kids lives, and let them bring questions to you as her lies deepen. Eventually, they will see where the truth is, and the EX will self destruct. (ask me how I know this will happen)
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 LET IT GO. Your kids WILL see it for what it is! I'm sorry she's being like this :(.
Marc878 Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 Ignore her. If you haven’t cut off all contact. Your kids are older so you don’t need any. You’ll never control this. No one wants an X in the mix.
Mr. Lucky Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 On 2/3/2020 at 10:51 AM, skinut2234 said: confront her at some point and tell her to knock it off? So you couldn’t get along while married, but she’s going to follow your direction and acquiesce to your wishes now you’re divorced? Leave it alone. Engaging with her only validates her claims... Mr. Lucky
Harry Korsnes Posted February 13, 2020 Posted February 13, 2020 Hallo Sorry to hear. It tok me 5 to 6 years to win my best friend back who is my son! Talk to them and explain that its nonne of thair mother's business Be patient.
Daisydooks Posted February 13, 2020 Posted February 13, 2020 Kids are wise. Let them sort out her nonsense. Dont engage. Enjoy your relationship. Ignore her
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