Ex girlfriend pregnant by her new boyfriend texted me rubbing all details of her new life.

[TeddyBundy1993]

First of all I would like to thank you all who supported and given out advises on dealing with breakup when being left for someone else. I had very speedy recovery within 3 months and I m in  a very healthy mental state right now. So here it goes again. My ex who left me 4 months ago for a man who is 16 year older to her and now she already 3 months pregnant by him. Her boyfriend is 46 and She is 30. I blocked her actually and was devastated but later with time and help of loveshack and family members I got senses back.  But this girl texts me back again from her siblings accounts we chat and she tells me shes 3 months pregnant and her life is good with her new man. She puts a profile pic wearing a T shirt I gifted her 3 years ago. She apologized to me and asked me to be her friend since i have been with in her some tuff times. We dated for about 3 years it was LDR and our parents knew about each other. 

Any how I m over this girl.  I loved her very much maybe still I do. I m not hurt anymore.  But I don't realize why she needed to come back and tell me how perfect her life ? She havent msged me again after that lol.  Is she playing games with me ?? This is  not the first time a ex returned to run their great life on my face. Why do girls do that ?

[Legatus]

She wouldn't message you if her life wasn't perfect, would she? Perhaps that's what she wants you to think but the reality might be totally different. The catch is you will never know! She will be playing these games for who knows what reason. To get an ego boost from your responses possibly. Best thing is to block her completely and continue with your recovery. Don't let her be neither a part of that path nor something that would stop you

[assertives]

Don't entertainment her further than a few polite small talk. It's how you'll get sucked back into the pit. Just respond politely that you accept her apology, and you're happy that things are going well for her. You can also end off and tell her life's good for you too, and may the new decade bring about better things for everyone!

Also, tell her that you don't stay friends with exes and then block her sibling(s)/parents/cousins/new guy's account.

[elaine567]

Sometimes when dumpers move on they want everything to be perfect.
They want to smooth the waters with exes and make sure all is hunky dory in their life as they move forward.
They want to tie up  any loose ends.
Here she tried to assuage any guilt she may have felt, by trying to get you onside and be her friend.
She, I guess wants your approval and "blessing". 
Women tend to like platonic friendships with men and exes.
They are often pretty good at separating friends from lovers and it makes sense to them.
To her way of thinking as a woman and a dumper -
"This is a guy who was one of my best friends, the fact we are no longer together should make no difference to the friendship, surely?"

[basil67]

She's friendzoned you and is treating you as a friend.  If you don't want to be her friend, block all the numbers she is using to contact you.

[TeddyBundy1993]

Ahh I don't want to be her lover again. Bcz she has f***ed up past and have real mental issues.  I wanted her to face karma but now as a child is on the way I m ok with her as a friend no hardships now. Just wondering if this happens with me often my ex returns to tell me their new life is so perfect and I have no clue why they do that... 

[schlumpy]

If your social life has returned to normal then if you want you can be friends with her. If you are still not dating and looking for that special SO do not talk with her. It will only hold you back. 

[The Outlaw]

She could possibly still have feelings for you. I've been down this road before but keep doing what you're doing. You're on the road to recovery and it would be best to just limit or block all contact with her. No need to get sucked back in.  

[kendahke]

And she's not on block why?

[healing light]

I can't see a reason for telling you about this news unless she's not over you and wants you feeling some kind of way. Sounds immature. Many people would not be able to handle a pregnancy just a few months out of a break up of a multi-year relationship. It seems tacky to me to rub that in your face while saying how great things are going. Yuck.

Since she's clearly moving into a future with this new guy whether she wants it or not via the pregnancy, I don't see any reason to stick around. 

[TeddyBundy1993]

I m not hoping for our reconciliation anymore. I m ok just found it weird of her behaviour she came rubbed all details on my face and went silent.  Sure shes moving into a future with another man.i wished her good luck. She was on block actually she msged from another account asking me to talk to her

[ExpatInItaly]

On 2/2/2020 at 9:57 AM, TeddyBundy1993 said:

We dated for about 3 years it was LDR and our parents knew about each other. 

A little off-topic, I know, but what does the above mean exactly? How far apart were you, and had neither you ever met the other's parents? How often did you meet each other in person?

I am trying to get a better sense of the dynamic between you two, as it might help to contextualize her current behaviour. 

Whatever the case may be, though, you need to block her for good. 

[2BGoodAgain]

On 2/2/2020 at 5:42 AM, elaine567 said:

Sometimes when dumpers move on they want everything to be perfect.
They want to smooth the waters with exes and make sure all is hunky dory in their life as they move forward.
They want to tie up  any loose ends.
Here she tried to assuage any guilt she may have felt, by trying to get you onside and be her friend.
She, I guess wants your approval and "blessing". 
Women tend to like platonic friendships with men and exes.
They are often pretty good at separating friends from lovers and it makes sense to them.
To her way of thinking as a woman and a dumper -
"This is a guy who was one of my best friends, the fact we are no longer together should make no difference to the friendship, surely?"

have to agree with Elaine... could be any of those reasons....

having said that, if her life truly was as perfect or ideal as she imagined and says it is... why would she need anyone to supplement it? isn't her new guy everything she wanted? Don't be a doormat.

she treated you like trash, and now she wants to be friends? pls... you made the right choice in moving on. recognize that a piece of your heart will always recognize her existence in your life. she was an event/lesson in your life.. where you took what happened to you and made choices to be who you are now and tomorrow,... but as you grow, as you experience, as you love... that piece becomes smaller and smaller until it's just a lesson or a memory... and that's it.

don't elevate her back into your life, when she had so little regard for you. Unless you like being someone's doormat.

you decided to value your worth, and respect your heart... don't bring someone toxic back into your life.

[TeddyBundy1993]

52 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

A little off-topic, I know, but what does the above mean exactly? How far apart were you, and had neither you ever met the other's parents? How often did you meet each other in person?

I am trying to get a better sense of the dynamic between you two, as it might help to contextualize her current behaviour. 

Whatever the case may be, though, you need to block her for 

We met for 1 month only. We are from different countries. I didnt gave details bcz I was over it honestly but needed to know why is she doing this  she lived with me in my home for 1 entire and met my family. My attempts to reach her country was denied due to immigration issues. However she ended relationship with me after 4 months she returned to her country to be with this older man. However i left her alone but she had made numerous attempts to contact me so i answered her. She very well knows i dont want kids of mine own or someone's else so she wont be thinking of reconciliation either. I have moved on really well. And kinda happy for her but her behavior is really absurd lately. 

Also I'd like to add her all text to me comes at night time only.  

Edited February 6, 2020 by TeddyBundy1993

[kendahke]

4 hours ago, TeddyBundy1993 said:

She was on block actually she msged from another account asking me to talk to her

Block that account and ignore her. It'll help her build character that she doesn't have.

[Lotsgoingon]

Every day on LS there is a woman asking why a guy who pulled away reaches out for contact. So this is not something women do. 

But I don't realize why she needed to come back and tell me how perfect her life ? She havent msged me again after that lol.  Is she playing games with me ?? This is  not the first time a ex returned to run their great life on my face. Why do girls do that ?

These are useless questions. The only question is why are YOU staying in contact with her and reading her texts? That's the question. Why she is doing--anyone's guess. She could be a psychopath. She could be wanting to torture you. She could simply have bad boundaries ... or because she feels guilty she dumped you. 

The answer doesn't matter ... except ... often behind our proclamations of "I'm over her" ... you probably secretly want her to express regret for leaving you ... and all of that. 

The bottom line is: she dumped you ... we do NOT want to date people who don't want us. She's pregnant (her life just got harder and more complicated) ... and she's pregnant by a new person. That is almost never a formula for relationship success ... or parenting ease. 

Ignore her. 

[TeddyBundy1993]

2 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

often behind our proclamations of "I'm over her" ... you probably secretly want her to express regret for leaving you 

Yes I wanted her to regret leaving me but not  now. While moving on in life we do get such question when our ex tries to stay in life. With my experience I m very well aware few months down the road I would just be a faded memory to her. 

[Lotsgoingon]

1 hour ago, TeddyBundy1993 said:

I m very well aware few months down the road I would just be a faded memory to her. 

Uh, this is wrong. People recall even bad partners in horrible relationships for years and years ... I don't think ever forget a partner that you had (even briefly) a strong connection with. So you're plainly wrong here.

But the bigger issue is your fear ... that she will forget you ... Some kind of fear of being forgotten ... is haunting you ... 

The evidence is plain (though I get that you can't see it) that she is in a setup that will not work ... pregnancy that soon ... is always a major challenge to a couple. From the way you describe this person, she doesn't a lot of maturity (or else she wouldn't be contacting you). This relationship she currently have will almost certainly be rocky, chaotic ... and probably will quickly fail ... or continue with major up and down drama.

And yet you're converting her messy life into some fairy tale where she's off being happy and you're miserable. Your grief is distorting your thinking--which happens after we dumped, but this will pass.

[TeddyBundy1993]

Yes she has extreme mental issues and big lier and all. I m not playing this game with that I m miserable I m really going good and have realised I have dodged a bullet a women whose 3 months pregnant in her 4 months relationship is very a red signal. 

And yes I m little afraid that I'll be someone she used to know hahaha. I can live without this girl and have proved this to her time and again. Her relationship is her trouble now tbh. Thanks for your input gives me a little peace