Why would my ex look or stalk my social media account when he left me for someone else ?

[Whatever2345]

My ex and I were dating for 6 good months and we were happy. Until he went in the military even though it shouldn’t change how you treat a person. He ghosted me through that time period while I thought he was just busy he only sent one letter through the 3 months  and me and his mom were chatting. he talked to his mom and grandma because there was a shooting in his platoon but not me his mom contacted me saying he was okay   I would wait every Sunday for him to call or look in the mail for anything and absolutely nothing my parents new I was excited to see him while I was sending him cards and gifts and a birthday card  I stayed loyal while he was away. I was super excited about him coming home and I was going to get him more gifts. ( as the cool kids call it ghosting )Then when he came back I found on Snapchat that he’s back and he didn’t call and on my story I said to everyone let me know if you want me in your life or not.  (not directed to him) I texted him congratulations and he texted me sorry I was a dirt bag for loving my family I haven’t seen in ten weeks. Which I think he was making that as an excuse to break up with me. I’m not trying to make him choose. Never did say anything about that. I just thought if you loved a significant other you’d tell them too. Then he said he had to let me loose for college in Georgia since we both live in Arizona and he blocked me after I said k. He also said Dont take this as me breaking up with you. Then After a month of no contact ( still going) after 2 months he’s unblocked and blocked me repeatedly so I blocked him.  Was it a good thing that I haven’t begged and pleaded?  I just respected his decision and let him move on as now as it’s 3 months no contact. I got my things back from his mother as he didn’t want to give it to me. I just left it as that. It’s been 85 days no contact after I told him to block me on ig as well. I’ve been feeling happier. Idk why he would leave two areas that he hasn’t blocked me on but blocked me on the other. If I was done with someone I’d block them on everything. Ik you don’t know what he’s thinking. But is this sounding like he thinks it’s a temporary breakup? 

[schlumpy]

I think it's more like you are his backup plan, also known as Plan B, or someone he can keep on the shelf. You did the right thing.

Don't take him back without consequences for his behavior. Make him respect you.

[Whatever2345]

Yeah ik blah “why should you care.” I’m just curious as to why he would do it repeatedly besides trying to get my attention. I never begged or pleaded during the breakup that’s what he wanted to why does he keep doing it.  I have blocked him now but I’m wondering why would someone check in on a ex if they’re completely done with them. As so they say. 

[UniverseInMe]

They're obviously not over you, or just very, very curious. I was your ex once, only I was obsessed, lol. Those days are over for me now, thank God. But ya, he obviously still thinks about you so he's just very curious or still has strong feelings for you.

[Whatever2345]

Well that’s kinda weird. Distance split us up. But yeah I have no resentment towards him. Just don’t want to unblock him because I don’t want him thinking like how I did when he unblocked me. He’s the one who broke up with me. So idk why he would unblock and block me constantly. I see it more as a temporary breakup then anything. We never texted each othe merry Christmas or happy new year. We just went in no contact and have been ever since 

[ExpatInItaly]

It is irrelevant that you didn't beg or plead, and irrelevant that he blocks and unblocks you. 

This guy treated you very poorly and has no respect for you. It is appalling that he didn't even bother informing his own "girlfriend" that he was back in town; that tells you where his interest in you is (hint: there isn't any) You were far more into him than he was into you, sadly. This has nothing to do with strong feelings; he's probably just checking to see if you're still single in case he wants attention or gets bored. 

Forget this guy. A guy who genuinely likes you and wants to be with you doesn't behave like this one.  Don't make the mistake of thinking this break-up is temporary, unless you enjoy being treated like a total afterthought and someone he only bothers with when he runs out of other options. You two are not meant to be together. 

Edited January 14, 2020 by ExpatInItaly

[TeddyBundy1993]

Walking away creates respects cant say about attraction ok. Like everyone said he's a simple selfish f***er who wants to keep you along as a backup plan. People say long distance doesn't work but look around s*** going on here people are living together married but they still spilt. He made a decision and wants you away from his life  sure later he might have felt a urge to talk to you. But ball is in your court now dont give him f***ing choice to block you or unblock you whenever he wants.  Block him keep no contact and move the f*** on. That piece of s*** isn't worth it. And yes you did great by not pleading or begging majority of dumpee do that. I being a dumpee have done that too once long ago I look back now and feel I gave my dignity up for her. So you go girl. Grieve find yourself back.  And move on and shine again ok.  KEEP HIM BLOCKED AND KEEP NO CONTACT 

[Whatever2345]

Thanks for the people who keep commenting and giving me feedback about this situation. So I thought I was in a relationship with him when he was in the army and I know not everyone priority is to date someone. But let’s face it in the military lots of people date other people. He basically told me that he didn’t want a relationship. But it sounds like he didn’t want one with me and found someone else already 96% of the time they leave for someone better. Let’s be real. I was really nice to him I gave him lots of stuff etc.  then after a month of no contact like official no contact. He’s unblocked me. I told him to block me so I blocked him as well as he did with me. He has been looking at my stuff. Because even when we were dating he blocked me on Instagram because I told him I found him on Instagram way before but never thought anything of it. Why would he unblock me if he’s so over me and in his new relationship. If he has totally moved on from me and as he said had to let me loose. Why would he even think about blocking me. Why couldn’t he have just left me blocked ??? It hasn’t been on my mind so much and more. But it has just popped up in my mind again. Why would he even unblock me and not speak? Makes no sense. I am in no contact have been for 100 days.  So if I ask him it’ll break it. I’m trying not to give it thought if he wanted me he’d do something about it. 

[preraph]

Why are you paying attention to that? Why don't you just block him so you never have to think about it again. 

[Whatever2345]

I have blocked him. Just was wondering why he would do that. 

[The Outlaw]

Most people that do that are curious, nosy, regret what they did, or they're not over you. 

[assertives]

My vote goes to curiosity and maybe noisiness not amounting to friendship or even acquaintanceship. Like don't you get curious about people you've went to school with a long time ago, people you've dated before or people you've met professionally and even strangers you don't even know? I've semi "stalked" people I've met and haven't met in real life like youtubers, clients, client's spouses, co-workers, co-worker's spouse who I don't know/haven't met, my orthodontist, my orthodontist's co-worker, and the list goes on.

Just leave it and pay it no mind unless he's stalking you in real life and showing up in places you are at.

Edited February 2, 2020 by assertives

[basil67]

Curiosity.   I occasionally wonder what my ex is up to.  Doesn't mean anything other than idle curiosity.

 

[d0nnivain]

People think they have to remain connected on social media because it's rude to not stay connected.  They are wrong.  Once you break up you can get them out in all ways. 

Since you know this isn't sincere, just block him,  Make sure he can't see your stuff then don't bother about him

[preraph]

Nosiness.  Plus he can get a boost to his ego if he goes on there in a week and you are still single.  Plus some guys like to think you are sitting around crying about them.  It's just egotistical and nosy.  You should put an end to it so you don't wonder what he's thinking every time you post something!

[kendahke]

Quote

Why would my ex look or stalk my social media account when he left me for someone else?

Buyers remorse

[thefooloftheyear]

I agree with the others in the context of curiosity …..But I also think some do it to validate their decision...

Like let's say he checks out your profile and you look like you gained weight or something...Or maybe he sees you with some other guy that in his opinion isn't as good looking or accomplished as he is...

Now he can say to himself.."see, I did the right thing"

TFY

[Lotsgoingon]

He unblocked you ... because he wants you to unblock him ... and he wants you to unblock him so he can check your social media change to see if you are dating someone else. 

If he sees no pix of guys, he's gonna randomly call you and be nice to you and try to have sex with you.  Oh ... this will happen when he feels like ... and it'll mean nothing about having a real relationship, of course.