Legatus Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 I dated the girl and it didn't work out because I moved to another country, she was emotionally unavailable, and I got too attached - simple stuff. She breadcrumbed for months, even after I told her I wasn't going to talk to her, and I would always fall for it probably due to aforementioned attachment I developed - something I only realised in the last 2 weeks. We said goodbye on good terms, we had a difficult conversation even though she didn't want it. To me not speaking AT ALL about us made me build up a lot of things. She said she didn't like such conversations. She didn't focus on the content (90% positive) but just the fact that she had to have one. She said perhaps I needed it but she didn't and now she would be thinking and crying for weeks. I think such conversations are healthy so I don't regret it. While I'm enjoying new country, getting to know the city, people, new job, I admit to myself that it will take time to remove the attachment I developed. Sometimes I look up to see if she messaged. Today I realised, why am I sending a message to her, here and there, even after we don't speak for days and by speaking I literally mean one message in and out. How I realised it? She was away for 3 days so I didn't message her. I randomly sent her a picture of a beach in response to something she said on a group chat we both belong to and asked her how her trip was. Of course she completely ignored the "how" and just replied to the photo in a one-liner. Then she comes back after 7h and sends me a message about her cat. I waited almost 16h to respond - it was today. Instantly I started hating myself. Why do I play this? Do I take pleasure in knowing that she would think of me and those things I said to her (good things but also some hard truths)? Do I want her to think of me as it gives the whole story more meaning? Initially I thought I always wait that long because I don't even know what to say to those weird messages that have no conversation starters in them or any substance but now I think that there's a darker side of this. I mirrored the behaviour, which is something I do sometimes. Happy people make me happier etc. Crazy, I know. I need to get out of this game as this is not a version of me I like. Just needed to write it down as seeing it black on white makes it more real...
smackie9 Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 Block her completely on your social media and any other way she can contact you. A clean break is the healthiest thing you can do.
Marc878 Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 Why are you keeping yourself in this ? you are the only one that can.
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