leahoneil Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 What does it mean when a guy says "I really, really care about you"? I've never gotten that one before. I was with this guy that is having a hard time because he recently got divorced so he needs his space. He assured me that this space isn't about me at all and that he really, really cares about me but I don't know what that means.
basil67 Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) "I really care about you" depends on context. If everything is going really well, then he's telling you that he's got strong feelings for you. If he's asking for space, it's about him letting you down gently. Always view words in context with actions. Edited January 31, 2020 by basil67 4 1
SumGuy Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 If he just went through a divorce his need for space is likely real and he is not dumping you. Especially if he is an introvert, time alone is needed to get ones self together and overcome stress. yes look at his actions but he made need alone time
mark clemson Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 My take would be either: - He's trying to keep you in the picture while he takes some time to deal with various issues (whatever those may be) OR - He's trying to let you down gently. Either is plausible IMO.
schlumpy Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 I really, really care about you but I don't want to see you right now. Seems clear enough to me.
Gaeta Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 Never EVER date men freshly out of relationships. It's the 1st rule of dating. At first they're excited, then they realize they have not dealt with their seperation, then they realize you're a wonderful person but they're not ready to recommit. 3
LuckyM Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 Depends how long you have known him, how close you are. It may mean nothing special or a great deal, I don't know.
carhill Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 Welcome to LS... How long have you been dating? Age?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 Probably means he knows he's not emotionally ready for a relationship, but if he was, you'd be a good candidate.
bachdude Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 What I think it means is he cares enough about you to not let you get involved with him right now because he knows he's not ready for a relationship. It's mature and responsible. 3
alphamale Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 it means that he'll have sex with you but afterwards he'll need some space 1
major_merrick Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 On 1/31/2020 at 4:59 PM, Gaeta said: Never EVER date men freshly out of relationships. It's the 1st rule of dating. At first they're excited, then they realize they have not dealt with their seperation, then they realize you're a wonderful person but they're not ready to recommit. I don't think that's always the case. My husband married Wife #1 within a few short months of getting a divorce from his ex. And they started dating before the ink was dry. Not everybody has commitment issues. In the OP's case, I think her partner sees commitment in the future, but can't make use of the "L word" yet. And he doesn't want to use it, lest she think that he wants to get married right away. Essentially, he's signaling that he values the dating process and doesn't want to rush it. I see no need for her to back off, but let him lead. 1
DKT3 Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 (edited) I'm with @Gaeta. As a once divorced man its shaky at best. I'm not sure I would go as far as saying never. I have a friend who divorced and remarried within one year, and he never met his second wife until a few months after the divorce was finalized. In his case, they were married about 10 years but he wanted out for at least half the time. At the end they wouldn't speak for days at a time. Point being, he was completely detached long before they divorced. I was a mess, and no where near date ready. To angry and bitter. Even after some time when I started dating a woman seriously I was still flakey. Edited February 2, 2020 by DKT3
chillii Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 (edited) How longs it been now DK , have you since remarried ? l'd be careful just for now emotionally op . He is interested but he knows he needs time first so it all depends on how he shapes up later. Edited February 2, 2020 by chillii
Gaeta Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 When I divorced after 15 years I did not shed a tear. The love had been gone for a long time. Emotionally I had been over him for a while BUT I needed to be by myself to figure out who I was after 15 years being someone's wife. It's important a year or 2 alone to reconstruct outselves, redicovering who we are. Jumping from being X's wife to Y's wife is a way to avoid being alone with ourselves. 3
Gaeta Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 8 hours ago, chillii said: l'd be careful just for now emotionally op . He is interested but he knows he needs time first so it all depends on how he shapes up later. I have noticed when people use the word 'recently' it's usually a really short time like 1-2-3 months, could be only weeks. The crowd reaction would be more negative is she started her stroy with my boyfriend divorced 2 months ago.
DKT3 Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 13 minutes ago, Gaeta said: When I divorced after 15 years I did not shed a tear. The love had been gone for a long time. Emotionally I had been over him for a while BUT I needed to be by myself to figure out who I was after 15 years being someone's wife. It's important a year or 2 alone to reconstruct outselves, redicovering who we are. Jumping from being X's wife to Y's wife is a way to avoid being alone with ourselves. Again. that sometimes happens when still in the marriage. My divorce was somewhat abrupt, I had begun to detach but wasnt there. I hadn't even begun to think about another relationship. @chillii remarried the same woman after roughly 5 years apart. 1
preraph Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 He likes you but he is in the middle of a huge emotional divorce and he is wise not to get involved during this time because anyone involved during that tumultuous period of anger and reconciliation (they always reconcile at least once, usually when dividing up their stuff) will end up left by the side of the road later on anyway. Once a man has been divorced fully, usually he does not want a steady girlfriend but wants to date everyone in sight to see what he can get. Stay away from this guy and save yourself some heartache.
chillii Posted February 2, 2020 Posted February 2, 2020 5 hours ago, DKT3 said: Again. that sometimes happens when still in the marriage. My divorce was somewhat abrupt, I had begun to detach but wasnt there. I hadn't even begun to think about another relationship. @chillii remarried the same woman after roughly 5 years apart. So you got back together , ha , good for you.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 (edited) On 1/31/2020 at 1:37 PM, leahoneil said: What does it mean when a guy says "I really, really care about you"? I've never gotten that one before. I was with this guy that is having a hard time because he recently got divorced so he needs his space. He assured me that this space isn't about me at all and that he really, really cares about me but I don't know what that means. I say he (sees in you all of the green lights for investing feelings) but because of his recent upheaval (of feelings) he doesn't feel clear-headed enough to merely pick-up the ball and blindly begin the "investing" process over again (more for wanting to identify a sense for when one investment was (sold off) and another (commenced) ). Now will you be able to present yourself TO the relationship without (letting those factors weigh too heavily on the new and unique relationship that is yours and his) ???? On that, I don't want to guess. But I'd say that you can press forward without concern for it being anything other than normal human nature, and nothing sinister that is soon to BITE you. Edited February 3, 2020 by SincereOnlineGuy
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