albert35 Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 I have met a Russian girl recently online. We are making conversation every day and we both interested to take a further step in our relation. Now we both have intend to meet and now we are planning for our first date. I want to meet her and spend some time with her and see how she is. But am confused, because we are still kind of new to each other but it is a great connection we have going. I'm thinking about flying over there to meet this girl. I've never been to the Russia and neither had a Russian girlfriend before. I’m not fully aware about Russian culture and Russian ladies. I am looking for some advices and want to know more about the Russian ladies. Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
carhill Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 BTDT - Plan a trip of a few weeks and don't put all your eggs in one girl's basket. Learn some basic Russian and about the culture. Check out forums focused on dating FSU women. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 I guess its no different than anything else, but I have no experience... But don't fall for the " I need 10K to get my affairs in order, so that we can be together" nonsense... TFY 3
chillii Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) My gf is originally Russian , but she moved to Portugal in her 20s, then in her 40s after divorce moved over to my country bc her son settled here and married. 27 .So we met here in a normal way as she already lives here. l mention that because unfortunately on the other side of the coin, there is that stigma of Russian girls in Russia looking for a husband thing , which is really sad . Because they are about the most special and beautiful women and souls out there if my gf is the typical, beautifully deep and passionate women. Far too much so to even skim here like this and l wouldn't here anyway But l will say that if you want a real woman, a real relationship , "real" partner, you couldn't do better than a Russian girl if my gf is anything to go by. But in your situation and in meeting someone in that way , no idea . But do her the justice she hopefully deserves and learn a little on her culture and ways . And yeah of course, watch out for gold diggers. Edited January 31, 2020 by chillii
chillii Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 PS , forgot , btw l also have a bit of a friend, we're not close so l don't know much but his w is Russian they've been married over 20yrs. But l noticed a lot of the same qualities in his w too and seems in their relationship, and she seems a really nice woman, stuffed me full of food too haha, one time l was at their place
Gaeta Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) My youngest brother dated 2 Russian women that had immigrated to Canada as adult + my daughter had a Russian studant as room mate for a few years. Those 3 women were extremely jealous, manipulative, they thought very low of men, they viewed them as provider, someone to use. The 3 of them were total drama queen. My daughter's room-mate would call the police for disagreement over food or the cat. She use to call me to tell me my daughter was a bad person. I will save you the torture they put my brother through. One day he came home with 2 or 3 roses I don't remember the number of roses but his Russian girlfriend freaked out because the number of roses meant bad luck for their relationship, she kicked him out, through the roses through the room, etc. Sorry, that is my experience with Russian women. Edited January 31, 2020 by Gaeta
The Outlaw Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 How long have you been talking to her? If it hasn't been long, you need to delay the meet for the time being and get to know her more. It's better that way. There isn't a sure fire way to determine who someone may be behind the screen but it's better to be safe than sorry. Just take your time with it. 1
5x5 Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) When I was 22 I dated a 20 year old Russian woman in Australia on one occasion and slept with her as well, then when I was 24 I started dating her again for a short while, until my now wife asked me out on a date. She was blonde, attractive and short, yet aside from her accent unsurprisingly she wasn't notably different from any other women I have been with. One thing though it wasn't an online thing, we met in person and I simply asked her out on a date. Funny story though, amongst the different places we dined one was a Russian restaurant, which while she went to the ladies saw the owner come up to me and start chatting to me in Russian. Which was funny because I am not Russian being a British-Australian dual national of mostly Highland Scottish and Northern English ancestry. So I told him I wasn't Russian, while he tried to insist I was while claiming I looked Russian. That said I don't understand the appeal in any emotional and financial investment in travelling overseas to meet someone you have never actually met, on the off chance you and she might actually have some chemistry and find each other attractive. Likewise I've been with enough women from a variety of different countries, of different ethnicities cultures and first languages to know that women from Japan, Russia, Poland, Portugal, Cambodia, Italy, France, Scotland, England, Philippines, Malta, Australia, Germany, Nicaragua and Brazil are similar to each other. So I found that always just being myself, while letting them be themselves as well works just fine. So if I were you I wouldn't sweat cultural differences, although absent sharing a common language to converse with one won't get very far for very long. Although I would be extremely wary of any long distance relationship, that hasn't started organically in person in the first place and have been carried on in person for a long time (buyer beware). Edited January 31, 2020 by 5x5
schlumpy Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 Enigma32 has a thread on his quest for a Philippine wife. It might be useful to you. 1
Author albert35 Posted February 1, 2020 Author Posted February 1, 2020 Thanks to all for the helpful advice. We have been in contact for about two months. we talk on a daily basis. But I think we should be patient and give it some more time to understand each other. I have been thinking about a lot of questions about Russian women. Like: Do Russian girls really like foreigners? Are they friendly? please tell me more about Russian women.
chillii Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Gaeta said: My youngest brother dated 2 Russian women that had immigrated to Canada as adult + my daughter had a Russian studant as room mate for a few years. Those 3 women were extremely jealous, manipulative, they thought very low of men, they viewed them as provider, someone to use. The 3 of them were total drama queen. My daughter's room-mate would call the police for disagreement over food or the cat. She use to call me to tell me my daughter was a bad person. I will save you the torture they put my brother through. One day he came home with 2 or 3 roses I don't remember the number of roses but his Russian girlfriend freaked out because the number of roses meant bad luck for their relationship, she kicked him out, through the roses through the room, etc. Sorry, that is my experience with Russian women. Yikes , maybe we got the two good ones . Edited February 1, 2020 by chillii
chillii Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 8 hours ago, 5x5 said: When I was 22 I dated a 20 year old Russian woman in Australia on one occasion and slept with her as well, then when I was 24 I started dating her again for a short while, until my now wife asked me out on a date. She was blonde, attractive and short, yet aside from her accent unsurprisingly she wasn't notably different from any other women I have been with. One thing though it wasn't an online thing, we met in person and I simply asked her out on a date. Funny story though, amongst the different places we dined one was a Russian restaurant, which while she went to the ladies saw the owner come up to me and start chatting to me in Russian. Which was funny because I am not Russian being a British-Australian dual national of mostly Highland Scottish and Northern English ancestry. So I told him I wasn't Russian, while he tried to insist I was while claiming I looked Russian. That said I don't understand the appeal in any emotional and financial investment in travelling overseas to meet someone you have never actually met, on the off chance you and she might actually have some chemistry and find each other attractive. Likewise I've been with enough women from a variety of different countries, of different ethnicities cultures and first languages to know that women from Japan, Russia, Poland, Portugal, Cambodia, Italy, France, Scotland, England, Philippines, Malta, Australia, Germany, Nicaragua and Brazil are similar to each other. So I found that always just being myself, while letting them be themselves as well works just fine. So if I were you I wouldn't sweat cultural differences, although absent sharing a common language to converse with one won't get very far for very long. Although I would be extremely wary of any long distance relationship, that hasn't started organically in person in the first place and have been carried on in person for a long time (buyer beware). Crackin me up , very similar , good eye for detail ya got there man haha, there's huge differences. But eh l won't go into that but what l might say is be careful of Italian ahh, she could be a touch volatile or possibly crazy . We have 3 in my family and ex was Italian. 2
VioletVelvet Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 Call me crazy, but maybe some Russian women are great and some not so great, maybe some are insane and some are reliable and some are passionate and some are cold? 2
stillafool Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 Why do you have to go to Russia to find a woman. Aren't there enough in the US? Are you in the US? 2
nospam99 Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 @stillafool. Almost 20k posts and you ask why an American guy is thinking about looking for an LTR with a woman from another country/culture/socioeconomic stata? Speaking as an American guy (and belaboring what I'd think was obvious), lots of American women have behaviors that mitigate against expecting them to stay committed to an LTR. Basically (on average) they're faithless. The same may be said of American men. I don't know because I'm only dealing with the women and plead 'not guilty' to the male side of the equation. Not to say ALL American women are faithless, just that I find it a LOT of work to search for the needle in the haystack. Women from other cultures, Easter Europe included, Asia, too, have a better reputation. Hence, an American guy may go to Russia (or a neighboring country) in search of a woman who can be trusted to stand by a romantic commitment. 1 1
5x5 Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 @nospam99 infidelity is no less common among Russian people, than it is amongst Americans. 1
5x5 Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 6 hours ago, chillii said: Crackin me up , very similar , good eye for detail ya got there man haha, there's huge differences. But eh l won't go into that but what l might say is be careful of Italian ahh, she could be a touch volatile or possibly crazy . We have 3 in my family and ex was Italian. I'm not worried about Italians, having enjoyed a splendid 23+ year relationship with my very calm and sane Italian wife.
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 (edited) There is NOTHING submissive in Russian women. Yes they may be traditional but things in the relationship will go THEIR way and you'll be brought back on the path if you derail from the direction you're suppose to go. You need to understand the dynamic of society in Russia. The alcholism in men is sky-high, wives and children are abandonned most of the time. The mother raise their daughter to be strong and to not count on men, and to think very little of them. My ex-Russian--sister in law spent long evenings telling me about Russian people and society and why Russian women are emotional, controling and volatile. Edited February 1, 2020 by Gaeta 2
nospam99 Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 @5x5. Reputation, marketing and power dynamic. I gets spam about Russian girls 'wanting' me but not about American girls doing so. And the experience of my 30-year relationship with my (American) ex-wife was that for 25 of those years she brought nothing to the relationship and acted like I was only good for 'bringing home the bacon'. (Only one example of course. But it's the example I lived for most of my adult life.) I hear plenty of similar examples from American guys, including here on LS, with the same generalization about American women - that they're only committed to the relationship, even if it's a marriage, until a guy with a heavier wallet is available. To be fair, if I were a younger guy at the peak of my earning power, even then I wouldn't import a mail-order bride unless I had confidence that commitment and faithfulness were in her cultural makeup. To the extent that was ever true in American culture, for better or for worse, I've seen it slowly and continuously slip away during my lifetime.
stillafool Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 18 minutes ago, nospam99 said: @stillafool. Almost 20k posts and you ask why an American guy is thinking about looking for an LTR with a woman from another country/culture/socioeconomic stata? Speaking as an American guy (and belaboring what I'd think was obvious), lots of American women have behaviors that mitigate against expecting them to stay committed to an LTR. Basically (on average) they're faithless. The same may be said of American men. I don't know because I'm only dealing with the women and plead 'not guilty' to the male side of the equation. Not to say ALL American women are faithless, just that I find it a LOT of work to search for the needle in the haystack. Women from other cultures, Easter Europe included, Asia, too, have a better reputation. Hence, an American guy may go to Russia (or a neighboring country) in search of a woman who can be trusted to stand by a romantic commitment. Thanks for answering my question. I am way late to this thread and didn't read previous posts so I apologize if this question was already asked and answered. Now I understand.
carhill Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 10 hours ago, albert35 said: We have been in contact for about two months. we talk on a daily basis. But I think we should be patient and give it some more time to understand each other. I have been thinking about a lot of questions about Russian women. Like: Do Russian girls really like foreigners? Are they friendly? please tell me more about Russian women. Plan a trip soon, like in the next month. Russian women who are interested hate keyboard romeos. They like in-person and IME are quite territorial with a man they like. In the meantime, skype/video-chat often. No text, minimal phone calls. Put together a travel plan. It's easy. Ask your girl if she can find you an apartment or rooming setup. Friends/family will often clear out to make some bucks and provide space. It's also more immersive and more 'proper' than a girl meeting a guy at his hotel. If you prefer less eggs in her basket, set up your own place. Plenty of agencies out there who sublet apartments. If you're not serious, don't string her along and don't go. If you are serious, go, now. If things work out, you'll be doing it often so get used to it.
BaileyB Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 In no way am I spending my hard earned money to travel across the world chasing rainbows in this way... Perhaps it will work out for you, and I hope it does. But, I’m just way too practical and realistic than to be investing in a foreign bride. It’s one thing if you meet, fall in love, and she is from another country... It’s another thing entirely when you meet online and develop a relationship with a woman you have never met... particularly, a woman who is looking for a way to leave said country of origin. How could you ever trust that her feelings are real? It’s is a risk I would simply never be willing to take. 1
rjc149 Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 Flying all the way out to Russia to meet a dating prospect. I can’t think of an action that could possibly be more needy and low-value. Nothing puts a woman on a higher pedestal. I don’t think many things instinctively repulse a woman’s attraction mechanisms more. Especially a Russian girl. You’re begging to be used, dude. There’s a prevalent sentiment that American/western women are all morally bankrupt and faithless, and that the only respite from their self-absorbed bulls*** is to look in the 3rd world. Thing is, you bring your faithful Russian/Filipina/destitute 3rd world village bumpkin bride here to the US and make her your American wife, an American wife she shall become. An American wife who married you as her end of an economic transaction. A marriage founded not on love, commonality, and emotional compatibility, but on the belief that her life in a mud hut or tin hovel makes her integrity as a romantic partner untouchable, is of the same western moral bankruptcy that causes so many men to balk at modern dating. Especially when she views you as a vehicle into 1st world privilege. Once she’s used you to make her escape and the basic needs of human survival are now comfortably met, she’s no different from any other woman on earth. It doesn’t matter where she’s from. If you must go meet this woman OP, at least make her meet you somewhere halfway.
BaileyB Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 1 hour ago, BaileyB said: In no way am I spending my hard earned money to travel across the world chasing rainbows in this way... Think of it this way, I have had dinner with a blind date, someone I got to know by phone or on the internet before deciding to meet, and really regretted the fact that I wasted a night on the date - should have met for a quick coffee. Online communication creates a false sense of intimacy, when you don’t really KNOW someone until you have met them in real life and spent a significant amount of time together - in real life. Disregarding this basic truth tends to get a lot of people into a lot of personal/relationship trouble. If you insist on meeting the woman, and if she has the means, meeting somewhere else is an excellent idea. It will give you a better understanding of her commitment.
carhill Posted February 1, 2020 Posted February 1, 2020 One of the women I dated, a rarity at that time, did actually have the wherewithal to travel since she worked as a lawyer for the World Health Org (WHO). She later visited me and my future wife to be in the US and had her own car, her own flat, and made a good living. She'd simply had her fill of Ukrainian men her age (late 20's). Although not confident in her language skills, she spoke English quite well. Often, though, FSU women don't have the money to travel and/or getting travel documents to western countries is very problematical. However, intra-country is fine, for example fly into St. Pete and the lady, say from Novgorod, can take the train a few hours to meet up. An interested lady will do that.
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