sothereiwas Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 On 2/1/2020 at 9:25 PM, Gr8fuln2020 said: Seeing plenty of women who never think about their exes....they are just happy to live life doing what they want. Just a couple pinches of unicorn horn between your cheek and gum will help a lot w/ that.
SummerDreams Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 On 2/2/2020 at 7:25 AM, Gr8fuln2020 said: I cannot be with a woman who doesn't meet my sex drive and activity. Sorry to tell you but it still seems that the most important thing for you is sex. The "active" word seems like a trap to me especially on OLD because you can't ask someone "hey are you fat?" so you just ask "are you active?" and from the answer you understand whether this person is overweight or not. An obese person will not easily say "yeah I'm an active person, I like to go hiking and running" but a slim one will say it more easily. You keep insisting in your posts that a woman who can't keep up with your sex drive and activity is going to be rejected by you, but you never say what other attributes she has to have or the lack of what attribute is gonna make you reject her. Also I find the "I don't want her to have any emotional baggage from ex-es" a little weird because you can't expect a woman over 40-50 to not have an ex husband (or two) with whom they have emotional baggage. You could always find a woman in this age who is maybe a virgin and has never had a relationship, but then I don't guarantee you she will be good in the sex department that you find so essential. 1
introverted1 Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 I don't think it's unreasonable to expect people not to have baggage about their ex's. Sure, there is history but people who come to a new relationship with bitterness and/or drama from an ex are not people I'd want to date (and there are plenty of men who carry this kind of baggage, too). I'd also look for sex drive and activity compatibility, although those aren't the only things. I'm not sure how any of this seems unusual. 2
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 2 hours ago, SummerDreams said: Sorry to tell you but it still seems that the most important thing for you is sex. The "active" word seems like a trap to me especially on OLD because you can't ask someone "hey are you fat?" so you just ask "are you active?" and from the answer you understand whether this person is overweight or not. An obese person will not easily say "yeah I'm an active person, I like to go hiking and running" but a slim one will say it more easily. You keep insisting in your posts that a woman who can't keep up with your sex drive and activity is going to be rejected by you, but you never say what other attributes she has to have or the lack of what attribute is gonna make you reject her. Also I find the "I don't want her to have any emotional baggage from ex-es" a little weird because you can't expect a woman over 40-50 to not have an ex husband (or two) with whom they have emotional baggage. You could always find a woman in this age who is maybe a virgin and has never had a relationship, but then I don't guarantee you she will be good in the sex department that you find so essential. No offense, but this is getting a little weird for me. The OP has already been helped and some of you seem too interested in my interest in sex and an active lifestyle. Anyway, I will excuse myself of this thread as it seems the goal of it has been met, after this post. A trap? Really? How? I wouldn't contact you if I didn't feel we would be compatible physically. This is accomplished by looking at profile pics alone. No trap. Within the first few communications I make it absolutely clear that I am looking for someone who will, for example play racquetball, go hiking, running, kayaking. I make it clear that that is what I do regularly. I am also involved in CrossFit. I make my lifestyle very clear and I also make it clear that the level of activity need not be on par with my own, rather, just a willingness to participate is important. Being honest about that eliminates some of the ladies as they realize that they don't have the same healthy lifestyle. Would you rather I rudely ask someone if she was fat?And if she answers yes, reject her then? I hope you are not suggesting that. Everyone has a past. I am, in no way, asking for someone whose past is a tabula rasa. Not possible. Only that she isn't debilitated by issues with exes, past that prevent her from having an healthy relationship. I think you know what I mean and I feel this is fair and prudent. Also, I very much enjoy sex. I want to be with a partner who also enjoys sex. Is it the most import thing for me? Honestly, it may be. I don't think so. I also make this need very early and overt. Why would I, at this stage in my life and healthy, desirous of physical intimacy, be content with a romantic relationship with something who is unwilling or incapable of sharing in the intimacy that most people find so important? 3
SummerDreams Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 @Gr8fuln2020 It's still all about you, what you want, what you demand. Anyway, I guess there are women out there who will be a match for you, so yeah, good luck.
Author Angel29 Posted February 3, 2020 Author Posted February 3, 2020 Thank you to everyone for all your replies. Everyone's input has been very helpful. I think we can assume that the majority of people on here want to meet someone genuine who is not obsessed with their looks. Some of the insights have made me realise not to associate with those who are shallow as this can open up a host of other issues such as their low self esteem and eating disorders which are not worth getting involved with.
BrennaR Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 Good to know that "average" is more on the heavy side. What would be considered someone that is fit, but looks normal? As in they can run 5K, but are not showing any abs. Aka me. I'm always a little self conscious about my weight (5'9" at 165 lbs), and I am dipping my toes in OLD. 2
preraph Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 On 1/31/2020 at 9:01 AM, kevinjones said: That is obese and unhealthy. I got down to a size 16 when I was 50, and I went on the longest hike of my life by myself on another continent. I was not obese and unhealthy. I am now though at 67. Joints break down.
carhill Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 On 1/30/2020 at 1:49 PM, Angel29 said: My question is do men prefer a woman who is very toned with a not so nice face or would they prefer a woman with an average body and pretty face? I prefer a woman whose expressions mirror her soul. A transparency. With that, all the rest fades away. 1
2BGoodAgain Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 Look good b/c you like how you look. If a guy likes it, even better. As for what a guy likes... there are so many different kinds of guys out there.... be someone you are comfortable being... b/c in the end, it's EXHAUSTING trying to pretend to be someone you're not. i'm not saying go crazy and eat a tub of ice cream with BBQ sauce in 4 week old jammies... hygiene is nice, but if you don't respect yourself, how do you expect a man to respect you? so... be the person, you want to be treated like. b/c if you don't respect/value yourself... you'll be treated as such by any guy who comes your way.
Fletch Lives Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 Ideally, men want a stick with boobs. But don't worry about it, it's not that important. I do like how you put average on your profile when you are slim - many of the best women underpromise and overdeliver like that. I would not worry about looks too much. Look at men - most are ugly and some of them still get dates! 1
SumGuy Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 5 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: Ideally, men want a stick with boobs. But don't worry about it, it's not that important.... Not me personally, and over 90% of the men I've known in my 50+ years, want a stick. In fact, those 90% often bemoan the stick look of beauty held up by the media as messing with their girlfriends and wives heads, and later in life their daughters heads. It's almost like the fashion industry is filled with people who don't know what hetero men like, and/or who want to set up an unattainable image of beauty to encourage never ending spending to obtain it.
sothereiwas Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 3 minutes ago, SumGuy said: Not me personally, and over 90% of the men I've known in my 50+ years, want a stick. I happened to end up with a very slim wife, but that's not why I'm with her. What most guys I know don't want is a partner who is going to blossom into an elephant. There is a wide (no pun intended) spectrum between those two extremes that's perfectly acceptable to me and to the guys I know.
SumGuy Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 5 minutes ago, sothereiwas said: I happened to end up with a very slim wife, but that's not why I'm with her. What most guys I know don't want is a partner who is going to blossom into an elephant. There is a wide (no pun intended) spectrum between those two extremes that's perfectly acceptable to me and to the guys I know. Same. In the interest of figuring out what dress sizes mean, etc. Found it is more BMI. It seems a BMI of 22-23 is my sweet spot, but anything 20-26, especially when in tone. Most athletes have really high BMI for the way they look so to me tone is everything. The thin, stick look, around BMI 17-18 just not for me.
sothereiwas Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 2 minutes ago, SumGuy said: Same. In the interest of figuring out what dress sizes mean, etc. Found it is more BMI. It seems a BMI of 22-23 is my sweet spot, but anything 20-26, especially when in tone. Most athletes have really high BMI for the way they look so to me tone is everything. The thin, stick look, around BMI 17-18 just not for me. I'm probably less picky, I just want someone who can and will likely always be able to get around OK, fit into normal spaces, wash themselves effectively, and is healthy. My wife is probably a size 6mp according to the chart I just consulted, maybe an 8mp if she doesn't mind the waist being a little loose fit. Sadly in the world of vanity sizing, AKA practical terms, she has to find a 0 or 2, or if she's feeling playful she can shop from the teens rack. She has to try and keep weight on (what a problem to have eh) but we all have our croissants to bear as they say.
kevinjones Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 It's all quite silly. This sort of word play only occurs in "online dating" where people hide behind a screen. In real life men see and know what they like instantly. I didn't know my ex wife's size for years. The average height for men in America is 5 ft 7. Now what if we only had those parameters to choose.. Short, average, and tall. You could have guys who are 5 ft 5 saying they are "average" as it is close enough, and guys at 5ft8 saying they are tall. Which would be pretty meaningless in real life. That inch or 2 means lot's to women, yet for their "size" they have all sorts of unique words and sizes nobody really even knows what they mean. So if size 16-18 is now "average", then I wonder what a few extra pounds or large is? I am sure many girls who are a size 4, if they also have size 4 friends, might consider themselves average.
Andy_K Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, SumGuy said: It's almost like the fashion industry is filled with people who don't know what hetero men like, and/or who want to set up an unattainable image of beauty to encourage never ending spending to obtain it. Yeah, it always amazes me that people think fashion models have ever been what men find attractive. If you want to know what men actually find attractive, go to porn sites instead. What you'll find there is not rocket science - boobs and bum. Women of different sizes, some curvy and some slim, but almost always with a good waist-hip ratio. Edited February 5, 2020 by Andy_K 1 1
kevinjones Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 (edited) 26 minutes ago, Andy_K said: Yeah, it always amazes me that people think fashion models have ever been what men find attractive. If you want to know what men actually find attractive, go to porn sites instead. What you'll find there is not rocket science - boobs and bum. Women of different sizes, some curvy and some slim, but almost always with a good waist-hip ratio. Well, I seriously doubt if top fashion model clones were approaching men (Adrian Lima, Ambrosia, Decker) very many men would say "No thanks, You are not my type" They are paid tens of millions because they are as close to perfect as possible. Edited February 5, 2020 by kevinjones 1
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