What do men prefer?

January 30, 2020

I have no idea what is going on in the dating world now. I had a nosy to see what the competition is like on dating sites and am finding that obese women put themselves as average body type and I am quite slim but would say I am average body type so if a man was to do a search he might exclude 'average' body type in his search. Other women try to make out they have the perfect lives by travelling, going to festivals with their friends, body dysmorphia and snapchat filters on their pictures. I have deleted my dating profile because I feel that online daters are extremely shallow with the grass is greener syndrome. I would say I am slim but not athletic but have a pretty face.

My question is do men prefer a woman who is very toned with a not so nice face or would they prefer a woman with an average body and pretty face?

I know looks are not everything and I am a kind person with a good heart but I feel pressured by looks. This shallow world is knocking my confidence. In real life I have lots of men who are interested in me but they lack confidence in asking me out.

January 30, 2020

Conventional wisdom is that men focus more on a hot body for sex only, a pretty face for love/marriage.

Because I wanted to attract relationship-minded men, I posted on my profile only face pics and full-body pics in fitted but not revealing clothing, never seductive skin pics.

January 30, 2020

11 minutes ago, Angel29 said:

My question is do men prefer a woman who is very toned with a not so nice face or would they prefer a woman with an average body and pretty face?

I know looks are not everything and I am a kind person with a good heart but I feel pressured by looks. This shallow world is knocking my confidence. In real life I have lots of men who are interested in me but they lack confidence in asking me out.

On what you'd use in describing your body type, think what you'd like to attract. In a way what you put down is a filter as well, filtering the men.

I like a wide range of body types myself, and the average body, even few extra pounds category is more than fine...really the picture is worth a thousand words...and it certainly doesn't need to be revealing or provocative. If I had to answer your question, since toned and average both work for me, on appearance alone the "pretty face" then would "win."

Big caveat, my pretty face is not the medias in the US. I'm not into the high cheek bones, super model look, not into model thin at all.

As different women like different looks in me, so different men like different looks in women.

Don't let the shallow world knock your confidence unless you're interested in a shallow man. For me in OLD the profile is the ultimate determining factor, no amount of good looks, provocative photos, etc. will undo a profile that makes me feel a disconnect.

As to these me in real life who won't ask you out, have you dropped big hints, or can you ask them out?

January 30, 2020

In the U.S., average clothing size for women is 16-18, so some of those obese women ARE statistically "average body type." And U.S. isn't the only "big" country either.

January 30, 2020

Average body, pretty face, nice personality-

January 30, 2020

1 hour ago, Angel29 said:

I know looks are not everything and I am a kind person with a good heart but I feel pressured by looks. This shallow world is knocking my confidence. In real life I have lots of men who are interested in me but they lack confidence in asking me out.

A good person without major aesthetic issues works for me. One or more hotnesses is a def plus. I got lucky, but not because I required a gal as hot as my wife. Maybe because I didn't.

January 30, 2020

I'd go average body, pretty face. A pretty face goes a long way.

January 30, 2020

Asking what men prefer looks wise is like asking men (well, anyone) what their favourite colour is. You'll get a different answer depending on who you ask.

Some prefer slim, petite and are very critical of weight. Some won't be worried about a few extra pounds if there are other good attributes.

Essentially you need to work with what you've got. I don't mean that in a demeaning way, rather just present yourself in a way that is the best version of yourself. Don't dress skimpy or like a hippy, etc if those styles don't work for you (but if they do, it's worth a go).

January 30, 2020

I wish I had the answer for you as an all purpose thing but unfortunately there isn't because everyone's different. I can answer one question about obese women though, in two circumstances and two only:

I have a friend who I will call Ralph who was being quite friendly towards me many years ago. However, he friendzoned me at some point. Why? Because he liked fat girls and, quite honestly, I was fat at that point. In 2006 I would loose 40 lbs. As I began loosing the weight he friendzoned me because I got thinner. I knew later on in his case that he goes for the bigger girls because he wants to be the center of their world. He feels that skinny women will not provide this to him.

I have another guy friend who I will call Ralph2 who had always been with bigger girls. I asked him point blank how and why it was that he went for the bigger girls, he said that with the exception of me (and yes, I am thin) every woman he's ever known who was/is skinny were miserable. Heavier women tend to be happy and more pleasant to be around. I have to disagree with him on that because having once been fat myself, people told me that I changed since I dropped the weight. I said I'm not that different, they say to me yes I had. I realized that I was rather depressed, tired, quick to anger, etc. at all times. I am better now since dropping the weight.

I did know two gals who I later realized were ticking time bombs and were very similar. They were both obese short girls, both of them were not ravishing beauties by any means. However, when you're short the world thinks you're cute. And, they both had a certain little cuteness in their faces. Cute little girls who give out cute little smiles get the things that they want from others. They were both bipolar, hopeless alcoholics, and users. Both of them always had tons of friends and boyfriends, and they went through them like Kleenex. One of them, I have no doubt at this point in life, has had her number of partners go into the triple digits. ANd both of them were like tropical storms - one minute they were happy and cheerful, the next they were angry and explosive. They both burned every bridge around them. They tainted my view on girls of that certain type.

However, .... I don't know what everyone else's thinking is or is not on this.

Edited February 2, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

January 30, 2020

I should add that weight in proportion to height would be important also.

January 31, 2020

2 minutes ago, mortensorchid said:

I asked him point blank how and why it was that he went for the bigger girls, he said that with the exception of me (and yes, I am thin) every woman he's ever known who was/is skinny were miserable b*****s.

Women (people probably, but this is not that thread) who grow up always being the center of attention and who learn to value themselves based on their looks often get really bitter once those charms start to fail. Probably being fat taught you some empathy and other worthwhile traits.

January 31, 2020

3 hours ago, Angel29 said:

I have no idea what is going on in the dating world now. I had a nosy to see what the competition is like on dating sites and am finding that obese women put themselves as average body type and I am quite slim but would say I am average body type so if a man was to do a search he might exclude 'average' body type in his search. Other women try to make out they have the perfect lives by travelling, going to festivals with their friends, body dysmorphia and snapchat filters on their pictures. I have deleted my dating profile because I feel that online daters are extremely shallow with the grass is greener syndrome. I would say I am slim but not athletic but have a pretty face.

My question is do men prefer a woman who is very toned with a not so nice face or would they prefer a woman with an average body and pretty face?

I know looks are not everything and I am a kind person with a good heart but I feel pressured by looks. This shallow world is knocking my confidence. In real life I have lots of men who are interested in me but they lack confidence in asking me out.

Your on the right path. Well done for deleting your online profile, this is a massive step in the right direction.

I work in the fitness industry, I have seen some very aesthetically beautiful women in my time. Ive had intimate relationships with some of them. I'm regarded as very good looking myself, am in excellent shape.

The best women are the ones who optimize what it is they have been born with. The best women are FEMININE, and that is something that is very, very rare in our culture. It is something that men go for. Boys just go for skin deep beauty, and get into all sorts of trouble.

Don't worry about this shallow world, its nonsense.

January 31, 2020

Nice to see a woman actually acknowledging the other side as well as their own for once. Usually it's all about men men men and what scum they are , but they might not realize what men have to deal with on date sites too. And yeah that oh my life is so wonderful thing was very very common in mine too, drove me insane and l'd just keep moving as soon as l ever read it , myself .

Anyway , if your slim that's really , really nice in my book, you got nothing to worry about l'd say,it's a huge thing because as even you admitted , most of them are not slim. To me slim is more important when it comes to the physical side of things than say face alone or pretty face but over weight , l just can not go for overweight at all myself.You can always add in your writing too that your slim.

Way back when, when l was on a date site , it was a pretty short career haha, my site had about 10 boxes you could choose , and l ticked slim, athletic, average but average to me would still basically be in pretty good shape.

But just to make sure non of the heafties bothered me , when l talked about what l was looking for physically wise, l also said in that that too, l like slim and someone that enjoys looking after herself, or something like that.

Edited January 31, 2020 by chillii

January 31, 2020

Denise Milani??…………..

But seriously....There are no absolutes...That being said most guys would like to "have it all"., but then they know their place and stay in their lane...usually, anyway..And for the record, not all heavy women are awesome and not all hotties are arrogant princesses....That's a complete fallacy …..and I am actually quite surprised that its not condemned more...Like you cant ever say anything to a heavy woman no matter who she is, but a good looking/slim woman is fair game?? Ridiculous...

Just like most women like larger men, most men like smaller women...The problem is "small" is starting to become somewhat of a Unicorn with women..

TFY

January 31, 2020

Since apparently overweight = "average" in OLD these days, you'd probably be wise to describe yourself as "slim" or some other word that connotes "a little under average" so men don't assume you're overweight. Suggest you also include at least one body shot (not necessarily skimpily dressed) just to demonstrate that's true.

Other than that, showing that you are fun and have a beautiful face will be helpful. A photo that turned out like a glamour shot but doesn't look like it was actually a paid glamour shot might be ideal.

I'm not dating, but my understanding from reading this board for over a year is that you'll have to kiss a lot of frogs with OLD to find a really good partner. Or be very selective, but you'll probably still have to kiss a least a few frogs. Steel yourself.

Last tip - in flirting I have noticed that (on a scale of 1 to 10) a woman being genuinely friendly, sweet, fun, and most importantly appearing into me tends to bump her up 1-2 points in terms of attractiveness. I assume this would apply in dating too. Something to remember...

January 31, 2020

Men online are mostly looking for a anything with a pulse, though pulse is negotiable.

January 31, 2020

Not so at all , any l've known just complain about the lack of quality women online, lot of that around ls too.

January 31, 2020

Slim with a pretty face and toned with an average face are both perfectly fine.

But for me personally, I will say this much - a pretty face is a genetic blessing, whilst a toned physique can be attained by most if they have the desire and motivation to do so. As a guy who stays in shape, I know exactly how much work it is, and as such in most cases I would likely favour someone who's less gifted but has worked harder to make the most of it. Not purely from an aesthetic perspective, but because it also tells me something about their personality that I can relate to.

January 31, 2020

I would never, and I mean NEVER, search for a serious person in OLD. In my opinion it's like going to the butcher asking to find fruit; you just can't find it there. I am not saying looks is not important, but most of all it's the vibe a person is giving you, their aura, the way they are acting in the environment. OLD only gives a shallow view of relationships and I would not consider myself serious or anyone in there serious enough for a serious relationship. So instead of trying to find what men want, it's better that we as people try to make ourselves better in a spiritual, intellectual and why not, physical way as WE like it and be sure that someone out there will love us for who we are and not for who we try to be for people to like us.

January 31, 2020

13 hours ago, Angel29 said:

My question is do men prefer a woman who is very toned with a not so nice face or would they prefer a woman with an average body and pretty face?

I can't speak for other men, since what they prefer will vary. As for myself I have always had a preference for women who have a pretty face with a figure that is not overweight.

As for US size 16-18 dress sizes being average as related by @peraph. I am glad that my wife who is 5'7" and close to 50 years old with a pretty face. Has from the time I have known her, when she was 25 through to now has worn US equivalent size 8-10 dresses.

January 31, 2020

As others have said... it's not as "Back and white" as the question would want it to be. Everyone likes something different.

While I don't have a "Type" per-se... I can say that I tend to gravitate toward a girl with a little more meat on her. And honestly... talking with a lot of my friends... they tend to agree. (but not obese) Going back to MO's point... that body type girl will generally be easier to get along with because they won't complain about going out for BBQ or a big Burger. They also don't spend half the day trying to count calories, or going to the gym. (after a long day) A girl with that body type is generally happy to make me cookies, and other treats. (with actual butter, and not some gluten free, fat free crap) and finally... a girl with that body type is less likely to have a wondering eye because they don't feel the world revolves around them.

Ok... I LOVE to see a hot, trim girl in a bikini... but in my younger life... when I was racing MX and hitting the gym... I had a few GFs like that. When we were intimate... I found them bonny, and honestly... it was a little of a turn off. (When the lights were out) Also... nothing was ever good enough for them. I was at the gym to be fit for racing... they were at the gym to just look better. (and for other men to look at them) because of that, they had had the mentality that they needed to be the center of attention.

Now that I'm a bit older... I haven't raced in +25 years... and I'm not the perfect body type either... I'm actually worried about a few of the girls my friends are trying to set me up with. Several of them are very trim... and one is actually a runner.

To wrap it up... a pretty face, nice smile, good attitude, and intelligent enough to have an "Adult" conversation... and I'm hooked. (Body type almost doesn't mater until it would effect normal life)

January 31, 2020

I'm female but I have a lot of men who are close to me in my life and they tell me these are the biggest things that attract them in OLD:

- pictures where you're smiling. Women tend to do that instagram-model lip puckering pose, which is a turn off

- few to no selfies

- no snapchat filters with dog ears, flowers, etc

- a profile that shows something of your personality and shows your interests

- at least one body pic (NOT skimpy clothing -- just something that shows your full body)

Sure there will be men who will choose only thin/athletic just as there are men who would choose only BBW, but most men seem to be a lot more flexible with body type than women realize. I once did an informal questioning of a bunch of men: If you had to date a woman 10 pounds overweight or 10 pounds underweight, which would you choose? Most chose 10 pounds over, and with men over 30 almost all of them chose that.

I think to attract a man your profile should show you're happy, confident, engaged in life and real.

January 31, 2020

16 hours ago, Angel29 said:

I have no idea what is going on in the dating world now. I had a nosy to see what the competition is like on dating sites and am finding that obese women put themselves as average body type and I am quite slim but would say I am average body type so if a man was to do a search he might exclude 'average' body type in his search. Other women try to make out they have the perfect lives by travelling, going to festivals with their friends, body dysmorphia and snapchat filters on their pictures. I have deleted my dating profile because I feel that online daters are extremely shallow with the grass is greener syndrome. I would say I am slim but not athletic but have a pretty face.

My question is do men prefer a woman who is very toned with a not so nice face or would they prefer a woman with an average body and pretty face?

I know looks are not everything and I am a kind person with a good heart but I feel pressured by looks. This shallow world is knocking my confidence. In real life I have lots of men who are interested in me but they lack confidence in asking me out.

+ size is now average.

If you are slim, you are not average, you are slim

Your RL interested men? Are you out of there league? (too good looking for them) or are they just shy? Lack confidence = shot down in flames of rejection by good looking girl once too many times. If one catches your eye as a good guy that is your type there is nothing wrong with you grabbing his hand and leading him out for a walk and a good talk to get to know him. Break the ice and the water might be very sweet!!!

January 31, 2020

16 hours ago, preraph said:

In the U.S., average clothing size for women is 16-18, so some of those obese women ARE statistically "average body type." And U.S. isn't the only "big" country either.

That is obese and unhealthy.

January 31, 2020

2 hours ago, VioletVelvet said:

I'm female but I have a lot of men who are close to me in my life and they tell me these are the biggest things that attract them in OLD:

- pictures where you're smiling. Women tend to do that instagram-model lip puckering pose, which is a turn off

- few to no selfies

- no snapchat filters with dog ears, flowers, etc

- a profile that shows something of your personality and shows your interests

- at least one body pic (NOT skimpy clothing -- just something that shows your full body)

Sure there will be men who will choose only thin/athletic just as there are men who would choose only BBW, but most men seem to be a lot more flexible with body type than women realize. I once did an informal questioning of a bunch of men: If you had to date a woman 10 pounds overweight or 10 pounds underweight, which would you choose? Most chose 10 pounds over, and with men over 30 almost all of them chose that.

Yes to all of that, a hundred times yes.

Duck face, snap chat filters, selfies all negatives to me....and if there are no other kinds of pics, pass.

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