I'm being ignored or I dont know if he lost interest in me : Anyone in the same situation?

[cupycake]

2 minutes ago, VioletVelvet said:

Here's the thing. The guy you think you are talking to is not the guy you're talking to. I guarantee it. The pictures you've seen are not him. This is not at all uncommon. They play you along and play you along until they realize they can't anymore, then they disappear. I can't include the link here but look up this article from The Atlantic: 

A Catfishing With a Happy Ending

Emma Perrier was deceived by an older man on the internet—a hoax that turned into an unbelievable love story.

It had a happy ending but it was not with the guy who catfished her. 

I strongly, strongly suspect that's what happened with you. 

 

I did think about it at first. But he reassured me by sending me his photos whenever I ask. 
But still, it could be the case.

[cupycake]

29 minutes ago, VioletVelvet said:

She's not plan A or Plan B. I guarantee the guy is not real. 

Maybe that’s why he keeps postponing his plans to see me??

But even if that’s the real him, then he’s pulling a slow fade

[ExpatInItaly]

24 minutes ago, cupycake said:

I did think about it at first. But he reassured me by sending me his photos whenever I ask. 
But still, it could be the case.

OP, at the risk of sounding unkind - you need to do a better job being realistic and not willfully naive about this. 

I know you want him to be real, but since you're here posting on an internet forum, I'm assuming you're also internet-savvy enough to realize those photos could be of anyone. You have no clue if they're of him, and I would put money on them not being of him, given that he won't show his face to you live on webcam. 

Come on, girl. You know this is all incredibly suspicious. 

[cupycake]

4 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

OP, at the risk of sounding unkind - you need to do a better job being realistic and not willfully naive about this. 

I know you want him to be real, but since you're here posting on an internet forum, I'm assuming you're also internet-savvy enough to realize those photos could be of anyone. You have no clue if they're of him, and I would put money on them not being of him, given that he won't show his face to you live on webcam. 

Come on, girl. You know this is all incredibly suspicious. 

You’re definitely right about this. Despite several times I asked and himself doesn’t even ask me if I want to jump on a call instead of texting. 
I’m pretty much stepping back already.

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to do more than step back. You need to cut all contact. 

I realize you've built up with this idea of him and have come to depend on communicating with him, but the truth is that you don't know if the person on the other end is even a man. It could be a woman.  Or teenage boy, or an elderly man, a married father, a dude (or dudette) with a hefty criminal record. 

The point is that you are depending on a total stranger for happiness, and emotionally investing in something that clearly is not what you hoped it was. It would be a good idea to ask yourself what sort of void in your life you're attempting to fill with this, and why you're not pursuing much more tangible options with men in your local area. 

[VioletVelvet]

13 hours ago, cupycake said:

Maybe that’s why he keeps postponing his plans to see me??

But even if that’s the real him, then he’s pulling a slow fade

That is exactly why he's postponing plans to see you. He never intended to see you because he's not him. He strings you along for as long as he can, and then disappears so he never has to deal with the fallout. 

They do this because they get to talk to women who would never talk to them otherwise because of age difference or respective levels of attractiveness or whatever. Or because they're married and think this is a "safe" way to have relationships with other women. It's a fantasy world for them too, but one of their own creation, where they are pulling the strings and leaving you and many people like you in a heartbroken state. 

Just because the man wasn't valid doesn't mean your feelings were not. The heartbreak is real. I'm sorry this happened to you. 

[Mystery4u]

18 hours ago, cupycake said:

I’m thinking of sending him a text asking what’s going on and if he wants to stop. But I’m afraid I won’t get any answer back and that would make me more furious

I think I should just stop right where I shouldn’t send anything at all, right?

You need to stop living in this fantasy and start living in the real world. You don't need to ask him what is going on, his actions show that clearly enough, but you are choosing to not believe it and still believe in this fantasy.

You should not send anything at all, and then delete/block his number and never look back. The sooner you do that the sooner you can carry on with the rest of your life. It's too short to be wasting it on people who don't deserve it like this guy!

[preraph]

He's a Catfish.  One excuse after another.  But okay, let's assume he's not a 300 pound 60 year old female truck driver and you're her entertainment driving through the Everglades for a moment.  

 

Why would you continue to pursue someone who is this disorganized and has this many excuses?  Really?  Is this the guy you want to marry, someone who always says yes but really means no and makes up crap to keep you happy?  Come on!  Time to move on.  Big waste of your time here.  

Edited February 1, 2020 by preraph

[elaine567]

Look up the true story posted by @VioletVelvet
It gives great insight into these guys who lead women on and NEVER want to meet or Facetime.
They hide behind fake pics they glean from the internet
In the story he was a guy only 2 years younger than her mother, who used the pics of a Greek male model to keep her interested.
He fed her lines about being "sooo busy" and "out of the country working", until she "investigated" and rumbled him.

[VioletVelvet]

15 minutes ago, preraph said:

But okay, let's assume he's not a 300 pound 60 year old female truck driver and you're her entertainment driving through the Everglades for a moment. 

Nice visual. 

[preraph]

I had a 16 year old buddy decades ago before internet who used to get on the CB radio they use in commercial trucks and pretend to be a desperately sexy 45-year-old woman and get all the old trucker guys worked up just for fun.  

[preraph]

Those catfishes are just using you for someone to masturbate to. 

[cupycake]

Hi guys,

I met my SO on a dating app back to Nov 19. It took us quite about 4 months to finally meet each other. He's living in the US and I'm living in Southeast Asia.

So, we had good 9 days staying together as he was taking a vacation. Everything went well, we had fun. But because of the covid-19, the airline had canceled his flight and moved his flight to 2 days earlier than planned, so we had to say goodbye, I was crying so bad of course. 

But then for some reasons, he completely ignores me as soon as he's back to the US. I texted but then it was only one word answer. He online but didn't talk to me. I sent him a text yesterday but then he didnt answer and again .. i still see him online.

I'm just so confused  I don't know what's going on over there. I thought we had good chemistry but then why suddenly he ignored me? What should I do?

[ExpatInItaly]

I don't think this person considers himself your boyfriend, OP. 

What sort of plans did you two tentatively have for the future? 

[schlumpy]

The first thing I would do Is verify that my messages were getting through. Most likely they are but things can happen in the electronic world that you are not aware of. I used to be able to ping an address years ago but I've forgotten how. Contact your internet provider.

If the equipment checks out then I think you may have to entertain the notion that although for you the chemistry was great he didn't share that viewpoint.

For your own well being I recommend that you cease contact and let him come to you. He better have a good excuse before you let him back in.

BTW, I like your handle. Very cute and amusing.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, I just went an had a look at your previous thread about this guy. I remember your story now. 

He essentially ignored you before this trip, too. I think he sees you as a vacation fling, and I have to wonder if he's even single. Don't count on anything developing out of this; there were red flags all over it from the beginning. 

 

[stillafool]

I was going to say the same.  He considers what you two had a vacation fling and now he's back to reality.  You need to forget about this guy.

[smackie9]

You over invested. You are treating this as a committed relationship. It’s not one. He’s  not your bf, he’s a guy you have been in contact with. You met, you had fun. That’s it it’s over. He is ignoring you because he’s a coward. He doesn’t have the guts to tell you the truth. 

[preraph]

He's neither your bf nor your SO.  He is someone who had a vacation fling with you and that's it.