spiderowl Posted February 5, 2020 Posted February 5, 2020 I think it is normal to want your partner to have the same kind of 'emotional' commitment as you have. There is commitment despite everything. You want to feel secure in his love and there is nothing wrong with that. I get the feeling that you may be living according to 'his' rules. He doesn't want more, you said. What about you, if you are honest with yourself? It is possible to convince oneself that a way of living is ok, good even, but still feel disheartened by it. Deep down, it is not meeting your emotional needs. He certainly sounds as if he is behaving like a partner and lover, he is just not saying it and giving you that security of knowing he loves you. There is an element of control in this situation - he has the power and you are left wanting. It does not necessarily mean he does not love you or that he would eventually find someone else. You mention an open relationship - I assume that means you can both have other lovers? Is this your choice or his? I have a feeling it is his. On an intellectual level, one can see it is an interesting way to live and why not? On an emotional level, it can be very threatening. I get the feeling you operate on an intellectual level a lot of the time and do not allow your emotions much freedom.. I have a feeling that if you tipped the balance of power in this 'relationship', things might change for the better for you. As long as he feels secure with you, he has no need to change the status quo. He can love you but not acknowledge it and there are no consequences. However, if you were to start drifting away, he would have to re-evaluate everything - how he felt about you, whether he was prepared to lose you or not. He may decide he could lose you and it may not turn out so good. I guess what I am saying is that you are accepting the status quo, the way the power lies, and he is in his element. What about your feelings though? They matter too. 1
Recommended Posts