ljwentworth32 Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 I realize that it is very important and I also realize I'm terrible at it. Any suggestions or resources (books, videos, etc...) on how to get better at it? thanks in advance!
stillafool Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 You should be able to find lots of information by just googling "how to flirt" and dozens of things will pop up. Try it. 1
Malin889 Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 4 hours ago, ljwentworth32 said: I realize that it is very important and I also realize I'm terrible at it. Any suggestions or resources (books, videos, etc...) on how to get better at it? thanks in advance! Usually when a guy talks to me and asks me questions about myself, that’s what women likeUsually when a guy talks to me and asks me questions about myself, that’s what women like. Don’t be too forward and don’t talk about sex when you first meet them. 1
scooby-philly Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 It's really about three things: 1. Eye contact 2. Listening 3. Verbal and physical play Of course, you can't fake chemistry so it has to be mutual. But...when there is chemistry just go for it. I think a lot of good men think they stink at it either because they weren't popular in school and/or they were awkward when they were younger. Most, but not all, women change in their late teens to early to mid 20s. So just keep that in mind - they're just as desirous of being flirted with as you are of flirting with them. ANd you know it's working if they're either playing with their hair, touching you (on your hands, arms, legs), and helping you decrease the physical distance between you. 2
carhill Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 Practice with people you're not attracted to 2
Miss Spider Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 Practice being open and friendly. That’s 1/2 the battle 2
Author ljwentworth32 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Posted January 30, 2020 12 hours ago, scooby-philly said: It's really about three things: 1. Eye contact 2. Listening 3. Verbal and physical play Of course, you can't fake chemistry so it has to be mutual. But...when there is chemistry just go for it. I think a lot of good men think they stink at it either because they weren't popular in school and/or they were awkward when they were younger. Most, but not all, women change in their late teens to early to mid 20s. So just keep that in mind - they're just as desirous of being flirted with as you are of flirting with them. ANd you know it's working if they're either playing with their hair, touching you (on your hands, arms, legs), and helping you decrease the physical distance between you. 10 hours ago, carhill said: Practice with people you're not attracted to 10 hours ago, carhill said: Practice with people you're not attracted to all great advice. I need to do this and practice. also trying to read a book on reading body language so i don't miss out on female signs of attraction and interest. I'm so bad a picking up on female signs of attraction you basically gotta either gotta 1. tell me you like me outright verbally or 2. stick your tongue down my mouth before I get it. But it's all the subtleties I guess, the playing with their hair and seemingly innocuous touches on the arm/shoulder are stuff I never realized.
scooby-philly Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 With some women it's more obvious than others. But any sort of sudden "peppyness", extra energy, physical contact, increase playfulness, it's all a good sign! 1
Piddy Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 If you're an introvert flirting isn't natural. Many extroverts love to flirt, it fills them up. For an introvert to flirt it's going to be exhausting. Rather than flirt just try to engage in small talk and a complementary remark is always nice. Don't try to be someone you're not. 1
Shanex Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 I'm pretty much an introvert but did great when I was dating. Not everything was successful or turned into relationship but still. A couple generic advices : - Improve your overall look and appearance, clothes etc - Start being more confident, and it's a long way to it. I was terribly shy and socially awkward as a teen and now randomly talk women and joke with them in various context (I'm in a relationship) too for the sake of being nice and chatty but not overly so. - Try to make women or girls friends, it helps understand and appreciate the other gender before you want to date.. All I can think of for now. Will gladly help out more 1
Mrin Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 Dude here. Echoing what @Malin889 said... IMHO there are two general types of flirting: 1) witty banter flirting and 2) seduction flirting. Witty banter flirting is just that - witty banter. Usually you want to trigger the woman to laugh and enjoy herself being around you. It definitely can lead to bigger things but on its whole, it is pretty superficial. And, if you're not good at witty banter, then you're better off not trying it. Seduction flirting is something else entirely. This is where a woman starts to regard you differently. This is where you go from an amusing "thing" to a person that might be worth further consideration. This can take a lot of different forms - from the charming extrovert who makes a woman feel special to the brooding introvert who is really just so interesting, and everything in between. But they all have one thing in common - getting her to share her thoughts and really hearing her. You see, most women (most humans actually) crave connection. Really connecting with someone (when you're in the mood for it) it a powerful aphrodisiac. One of the easiest ways to do that is engage her in a conversation and really listen to her. It doesn't have to be some deep thing. But get her to talk... share. And then build off of what she says - which shows you've listened, probably approve of what she said in some fashion and would like to know more. To use a squishy phrase, you're holding space for her. That will start that connection forming and, if you are her type, you might have a chance. I always tell men that when you're on a first date or just flirting with a woman, do 1/3 of the talking and all of the listening. NOTE: a lot of men do 2/3rds of the talking and none of the listening so right off the bat you'll distinguish yourself. Hope this helps! Mrin 1
Author ljwentworth32 Posted January 31, 2020 Author Posted January 31, 2020 11 hours ago, scooby-philly said: With some women it's more obvious than others. But any sort of sudden "peppyness", extra energy, physical contact, increase playfulness, it's all a good sign! yes! sudden peppyness and energy. also when they close the physical gap between you and them and suddenly start "bumping" into you by accident. 1
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