Author Malin889 Posted January 29, 2020 Author Posted January 29, 2020 20 minutes ago, basil67 said: Seems to me that so many want to date someone who behaves like a normal person but doesn't look like a normal (average) person. What does this mean exactly?
Author Malin889 Posted January 29, 2020 Author Posted January 29, 2020 7 hours ago, fromheart said: It's not how I think, its what any man knows. You asked the question and I'm giving you the reality. A very attractive woman is bombarded with male attention constantly. She doesn't need to go online. Most of the attention you get online is going to come from desperadoes, and men digging around the bottom of the barrel. For less ethical men, it becomes a free pass to be sleazy and horrible as I'm sure you've noticed. If you don't want the attention of desperadoes and barrel digging sleazy guys, don't date online. You asked the question, that's the reality. No I think it’s your opinion 1
basil67 Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 1 minute ago, Malin889 said: What does this mean exactly? They want 'normal' people, but filter potential dates to find those who are more attractive/taller/fitter/slimmer than normal (average) people. I see it written here all the time. 3
Foxhall Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 4 hours ago, preraph said: It's like those guys bring up sex some way prior to even meeting because they want some guarantee that the date will lead to sex. It's disgusting and infantile. It's like Nobody cares about your penis who hasn't met you and doesn't know what it's attached to and whether it's the only thing you use to think with, FFS. Yes I always found it was easier to get dates online by keeping sexual talk out of it. most guys, or a lot anyway ,go straight for the jugular, at the same time its getting the balance right, if a guy is too sweet they can be friend zoned very quick, a woman likes to know that the guy is male too, I suppose the trend towards more instant app style sexual hook-ups, is making it more difficult for daters who are seeking to meet long term partners online and build things slowly, that could be another thread maybe, within online dating are the more genuine daters being marginalised. 1
bradt93 Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 13 hours ago, fromheart said: I'll be honest with you, most men know that the real attractive, emotionally secure women don't need to go on dating sites. Dating sites are digging around the bottom of the barrel to get laid. Women have an illusionary sense of power online, so the dysfunction is complete. I don't use dating sites. Not entirely true, I see a lot of gorgeous women on tinder. How would you know they don't want a date? 1 1
bradt93 Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 13 minutes ago, basil67 said: They want 'normal' people, but filter potential dates to find those who are more attractive/taller/fitter/slimmer than normal (average) people. I see it written here all the time. And women call men fickle, hypocritical.
preraph Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 It's like my hobbies are this this and this and oh by the way I'm sexy. Like it's some badge of honor. These are guys who really don't understand women at all.
preraph Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 51 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: ^ A lot of celebs use dating apps They have special celebrity apps for that.
Miss Spider Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) They do have that, but some are also on regular tinder(not the exclusive invite tinder) I mean they may not be brad Pitt or Angelina but they’re ‘famous’ Edited January 30, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
bradt93 Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 It's like in high school, the cheerleaders won't date the "nerdy" guys even if they are good looking, because it would affect their "social status" at the school.
SumGuy Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 3 minutes ago, preraph said: It's like my hobbies are this this and this and oh by the way I'm sexy. Like it's some badge of honor. These are guys who really don't understand women at all. In the end I believe it's about understanding the people you want to attract. From the male perspective I see it on-line with women as well, who don't understand at all the kinds of men they say they want, and all the relationship coaches who prey upon that to help them.
SumGuy Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 6 minutes ago, bradt93 said: It's like in high school, the cheerleaders won't date the "nerdy" guys even if they are good looking, because it would affect their "social status" at the school. Oh they did, it's just "nerdy" guys know how be smart about it and don't blab to all and sundry about it so you never knew. 2
fromheart Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 20 minutes ago, bradt93 said: Not entirely true, I see a lot of gorgeous women on tinder. How would you know they don't want a date? Is she's having to go online to meet a man, she's probably mad.
fromheart Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 5 hours ago, Mrin said: My experience has been the direct opposite of @fromheart to be honest. I prefer OLD because I only want to spend time with quality women. When I look back at my last 8 years of dating, the mismatches or "lower quality" (I hate that term by the way) women I dated were usually women I didn't meet via OLD. I tend to favor paid sites like Match.com where I can see so much about a woman before even contacting her (e.g. education, career, familia status - both current and desired, politics, religion). And of course her physical appearance. By the time we get to actually meeting up I have a pretty good sense of her qualities and rarely have I been disappointed or misled. Almost all of the women I've met through OLD have been just the opposite of what fromheart described and often what @Daisydooks alluded to - busy successful women who don't have time to mess around with jokers who hit on them randomly. I think the site/platform has a lot to do with it. As does the age range perhaps (my dating range has spanned from 32 - 55ish). Well there not that successful, because they've got to use a computer to get a man. Also, your dating women outside of their childbirth prime. The best ones are usually taken up before they reach 30. If older women have consciously decided not to have kids, no problem. But its usually a case of they were too 'busy and successful,' to act like human beings, so now they go online to look for men. They're often emotionally damaged and don't make the best partners.
fromheart Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 7 minutes ago, fromheart said: Is she's having to go online to meet a man when she's physically attractive, she's probably mad.
SumGuy Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 4 minutes ago, fromheart said: Is she's having to go online to meet a man, she's probably mad. Or she may be so fed up with men with preconceived notions about her based on how good she looks that she needs to broaden her search...or all the other reasons for OLD given. She doesn't have to go on line to meet a man, but to meet a good man who doesn't have his head up his posterior is a hard thing to do. 3
fromheart Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 7 hours ago, Daisydooks said: In one full swoop, you offended everyone in this post. I'm not sure you made the point you meant to. It was ignorant and rude. Couldn't give a damn about offending people Daisy. I just say things as they are, and I don't spout BS to please people. If you're happy to go on dating websites, and receive the attention of sleazy guys who regard you as meat, leftovers, sending pictures of their anatomy to you, go right ahead.
SumGuy Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 4 minutes ago, fromheart said: Well there not that successful, because they've got to use a computer to get a man. I see. Just looking at the definition of "success" here in the OED and yep your right, computer use = fail.
fromheart Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 5 minutes ago, SumGuy said: She doesn't have to go on line to meet a man, but to meet a good man who doesn't have his head up his posterior is a hard thing to do. And having no success in real life, she's going to get that on Tinder is she?
central Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) There are normal men online, of course. However, the normal distribution is skewed towards the clueless, jerk, predatory end of curve, IMO. There are still a huge number of "normal" decent men, and a smaller number of exceptional men (probably using OLD because they aren't finding a good match otherwise). I'd say the same skewed curve applies to women, with some different problems. OLD certainly works, and often works well. However, you MUST spend time learning how to do so effectively, particularly by figuring out how to screen for those you DON'T want to meet, while developing your intuition for meeting the potentially good matches. And that can really only happen by meeting a lot of people and seeing how they compare to their profile and how they communicate. Edited January 30, 2020 by central 1
SumGuy Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 10 minutes ago, fromheart said: Also, your dating women outside of their childbirth prime. The best ones are usually taken up before they reach 30. If older women have consciously decided not to have kids, no problem. But its usually a case of they were too 'busy and successful,' to act like human beings, so now they go online to look for men. They're often emotionally damaged and don't make the best partners. Have to say have seen plenty of men who were too "busy and successful" to act like human beings but they often get a pass if they make enough money. Not so much emotionally damaged but they often say it like they see it, with that classic male brovado learned in corporate America...often wrong but never in doubt.
fromheart Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 2 minutes ago, central said: However, you MUST spend time learning how to do so effectively, particularly by figuring out how to screen for those you DON'T want to meet, while developing your intuition for meeting the potentially good matches. And that can really only happen by meeting a lot of people and seeing how they compare to their profile and how they communicate. What all of us must do, is learn to interact in reality. All of this technology has numbed our minds to the point where human beings are having difficulty in interacting in real life. Instead of swiping a phone with strategy, get out into fresh air, exercise, eat well. See what happens then. 1
SumGuy Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) 11 minutes ago, fromheart said: And having no success in real life, she's going to get that on Tinder is she? Tinder I don't know, but how many people can you encounter in real life versus on line? As people say it is a numbers game. Sure she is going to get all sorts of creepers and d*ckheads. Just like in real life. She is going to be very selective but probably not primarily for the traits you assume. A bigger net catches more fish. Edited January 30, 2020 by SumGuy
fromheart Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 3 minutes ago, SumGuy said: Have to say have seen plenty of men who were too "busy and successful" to act like human beings but they often get a pass if they make enough money. Not denying that. But most of them are also setting themselves up for trouble, as long as they have the money they'll attract the gold diggers. They then face the possibility of picking up a parasite, someone who moves into their home, maybe even has their kids and then tries to clear them out. But, if someone wants to indulge in gold diggers that's what they get.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 Good grief...of course there are normal people out there. Online dating should be about meeting someone in person. If you are not, you are not dating...period. Every first encounter IS organic. Every face to face IS 'in reality.' People have and always will find ways to sabotage relationships. It may be easier because of technology, but it is not new. I find the biggest thing is that breakups are usually a two-way street. 3
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