BJP1991 Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 Took a girl out for a second date last weekend. Did dinner and played games at a local bar together. Went really well - we kissed/made out a few minutes when I dropped her off at the end of the night. We are both in our mid-20s. I have a vacation all week this and weekend, but when I dropped her off she suggested we make dinner together sometime at the place - I joked and said “so ill be making you dinner” to which she offered to make dessert and bring wine. Date ended on a high note. Thing is, I’ll be gone all week and we probably won’t get together for another week or next weekend. Whats a proper way to ask her for the date next week? I’d like to set a date with her in the next day or two for next week or preferably weekend. Looking forward to seeing her - it’s been a while since I’ve gone out with a girl I feel a solid connection with after two dates. Thoughts/opinions/advice?
SumGuy Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 (edited) Are you cancelling or changing her expectations on when you will meet? Or is it you said lets do this but have no specific time? If you are cancelling or changing expectations and it is for convenience given how busy you are I would't do it. I'd suck it up, get disciplined and see her. If this was left open, I would reach out to her, let her know you are traveling and plan a less involved meeting date before you go, even if quick AND set a date for the more elaborate date when you get back. Edited January 28, 2020 by SumGuy
smackie9 Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 There is nothing to be concerned about if you know how to communicate. like the above post, just tell her you would like to see her before you go away....then keep in contact while on Vaycay.
Author BJP1991 Posted January 28, 2020 Author Posted January 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, smackie9 said: There is nothing to be concerned about if you know how to communicate. like the above post, just tell her you would like to see her before you go away....then keep in contact while on Vaycay. did you read the post? She knows I’m gone until Sunday and I’m leaving tonight to head out of town. We talked about doing dinner together at my place after my trip. No date or time has been set.
Author BJP1991 Posted January 28, 2020 Author Posted January 28, 2020 43 minutes ago, SumGuy said: Are you cancelling or changing her expectations on when you will meet? Or is it you said lets do this but have no specific time? If you are cancelling or changing expectations and it is for convenience given how busy you are I would't do it. I'd suck it up, get disciplined and see her. If this was left open, I would reach out to her, let her know you are traveling and plan a less involved meeting date before you go, even if quick AND set a date for the more elaborate date when you get back. Ya, no. Not going to pressure seeing her before my trip - that’s asking to come off as needy/desperate. Did you read the full post before replying or just the header?
Mrin Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 1 minute ago, BJP1991 said: did you read the post? She knows I’m gone until Sunday and I’m leaving tonight to head out of town. We talked about doing dinner together at my place after my trip. No date or time has been set. Then set up a time and date. Now
Author BJP1991 Posted January 28, 2020 Author Posted January 28, 2020 3 minutes ago, Mrin said: Then set up a time and date. Now Yeah I will today or tomorrow but it has to be for next week/weekend. Just come out of the gate asking? Or try to have some text convo setup first? That was the original thread question anyways
Mrin Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 It all depends on your style. If it were me and I were going out of town tonight I would call her up and say hey listen, I'm kind of bonkers right now trying to get out of town for my vacation but I didn't want to leave without knowing when I'm going to see you again. Forgive me for being so direct but I get back next Thursday so what do you think about making dinner with me on Saturday night at my place? Or something like that. If you pull it off correctly she will like how decisive you are in aggressively pursuing her and making her a priority before you leave. 1
SumGuy Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, BJP1991 said: Ya, no. Not going to pressure seeing her before my trip - that’s asking to come off as needy/desperate. Did you read the full post before replying or just the header? Never said pressure her. Not asking because you fear you may seem needy/desperate (when your description sounds like she gave you all the signals in the world she is into you) is game playing and/or insecurity. Yes read the full post. From context it sounded like you were worried about waiting until after you returned to go on the date, which implies there was an expectation before. If the plan all along was to meet after you got back what is the question? I just never guessed that was the situation because the answer is obvious. Go along with the plan, duh. Yes I'd set up the time before you leave, why not? Momentum is important.
Author BJP1991 Posted January 28, 2020 Author Posted January 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, Mrin said: It all depends on your style. If it were me and I were going out of town tonight I would call her up and say hey listen, I'm kind of bonkers right now trying to get out of town for my vacation but I didn't want to leave without knowing when I'm going to see you again. Forgive me for being so direct but I get back next Thursday so what do you think about making dinner with me on Saturday night at my place? Or something like that. If you pull it off correctly she will like how decisive you are in aggressively pursuing her and making her a priority before you leave. Got it, pretty solid recommendation. Given we’ve only been on two dates, texting has been our primary means of communication so far. I usually wait to start calling until after third date or so, once I can solidly my personality/etc to her and she will be more comfortable with it. Sometimes calling seems too “out of the blue” for girls these days...it is what it is. I’ll probably text her today or tomorrow morning as part of a good morning text. I haven’t sent her any gm texts yet since we’ve met, so it shouldn’t be too much.
d0nnivain Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 Call her. Remind her that you will be away but ask for a specific date & time for the next date so it's scheduled before you leave. She should appreciate the effort you made to lock this down. Do reach out at least once or twice while you are gone so she knows you are thinking of her. Get her some kitchy cheap souvenir from your trip ( <$10) just so she knows you were thinking of her. Even something as dumb as a pencil will be fine. It's about the gesture not the gift
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