d0nnivain Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 20 minutes ago, Lotsgoingon said: A sharp guy would have noticed your flat reactions already, right? Would have noticed your silences ... and noncommital responses after his suggestions. Would have noticed your lack of enthusiasm for his "brilliance." You wouldn't even have to be all that sharp to notice this. His blindness to your cues and reactions ... tells me that he lacks a certain social skill and depending on what you want ... won't be able to read when you're in distress ... when you're uncomfortable ... when you're unhappy ... and God knows ... he won't be able to constructively react if you are in a difficult period. This ^^^ is Brilliant & insightful. Lotsgoingon is so right. A perceptive person would have noticed by now that their input is not being well received & dialed it back. His failure to realize that his comments are unwelcome is a strike against him. It's not even about being right or wrong. Of course we all "know" we're supposed to brush our teeth for 2 minutes but for him to get you a timer . . .OMG! . . . I would have been tempted to throw the timer at his head. I would not have actually thrown it at him because we all know violence isn't the answer but the impulse would have been there. 1 1
SumGuy Posted January 28, 2020 Posted January 28, 2020 So far from what you said I think it's more overbearing and him trying to help. He's got that male problem solving trait in overdrive. I agree with the above the key is how he responds when you decline, or can just tell him not everything is a problem that needs to be solved, his just listening is enough. He should be able to accept you know your own mind and your own wishes and you are allowed to make mistakes. Maybe dial it back on the unsolicited opinions on your clothes, at near 70 he should know what a mine field that is even when the opinion is solicited . I'm a man (in his 50s) and even I find a "know it all" or mansplainng attitude annoying. Well more amusing, and I'm not beyond giving the know it all enough rope to hang themselves. As to the original question, yah I'd want this to improve before marrying him or even moving in together.
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