Springsummer Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 (edited) So I have been texting with this person for about 2 months, mostly sending gifs This noon he texted me to ask if what I am doing this afternoon. I said going to the mall and asked about him. he said run a few errands and not sure after and ask me if I can meet for coffee later. I said I have plans later(I can't meet a guy on short notice and I don't want to). What do you think? but he has been very sweet, respectful and affectionate in texting... Edited January 26, 2020 by Springsummer
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 2 months of gifs? How are you two? How much notice are you going to need?? 4 1
alphamale Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 just tell him how much notice you usually need to go on a date 1
preraph Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 At least he needs to ask the day before or two days before, IMO. I mean, who wants one of these disorganized last-minute people.
SumGuy Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 1 minute ago, preraph said: At least he needs to ask the day before or two days before, IMO. I mean, who wants one of these disorganized last-minute people. Or is it spontaneous adventurous people? 2
alphamale Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 1 minute ago, preraph said: At least he needs to ask the day before or two days before, IMO. I mean, who wants one of these disorganized last-minute people. but on the other side of the coin women are always complaining the men aren't "spontaneous" or spur of the moment 1
preraph Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 This is a first date, though. Whatever you settle into later is how you two are, but it's a bad precedent to set to just be ready to jump up and get ready at the last minute. I don't really like spontaneous. I like dependable and organized. 2
Author Springsummer Posted January 26, 2020 Author Posted January 26, 2020 1 minute ago, preraph said: At least he needs to ask the day before or two days before, IMO. I mean, who wants one of these disorganized last-minute people. He did back in early Dec, which was about 2 weeks we started chatting. then he asked me what area I live. I told him and he asked again 2 days later. so I asked if he was too busy talking to other ladies? said 3. I said those ladies must be very attractive so much so that he can't even remember what I said. got mad. didn't reply. went for vacation 3 weeks later, which was early Jan. he asked my trip, so we started talking again. I think we have chemistry in texting and GIFing.
Author Springsummer Posted January 26, 2020 Author Posted January 26, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, preraph said: This is a first date, though. Whatever you settle into later is how you two are, but it's a bad precedent to set to just be ready to jump up and get ready at the last minute. I don't really like spontaneous. I like dependable and organized. I just wonder if that's respectful? who wants to know someone wants to meet you because he has nothing else to do? Edited January 26, 2020 by Springsummer 1
preraph Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 Yeah. He sounds disorganized. I mean, up to you. 1
Foxhall Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 go ahead with the date, dont be putting up obstacles can be a good idea to do something before you are "ready" you might never be ready. spontaneity is beneficial 1
Author Springsummer Posted January 26, 2020 Author Posted January 26, 2020 Just now, preraph said: Yeah. He sounds disorganized. I mean, up to you. I actually don't care about disorganized because I am very disorgainized, so no right to complain about that. but just wonder if he value meeting me..
SumGuy Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 4 minutes ago, preraph said: This is a first date, though. Whatever you settle into later is how you two are, but it's a bad precedent to set to just be ready to jump up and get ready at the last minute. I don't really like spontaneous. I like dependable and organized. I like spontaneous, dependable and organized. I really find the only reason I can be spontaneous with everything not falling apart is because I got things organized so I have the free time and the buffer to be spontaneous. Those blocks of free time I have don't magically appear, it's due to getting done what needs to be done sooner rather than later, without distraction. Overall, I find the spontaneous of his request rather nice...if he was nice about it and realized it was a shot in the dark. If he has it together and is interested think he would follow up with an actual plan to meet. 1 1
Author Springsummer Posted January 26, 2020 Author Posted January 26, 2020 or am I too fuzzy and nitpicking? and pomp and circumstance?
Author Springsummer Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 4 minutes ago, Foxhall said: go ahead with the date, dont be putting up obstacles can be a good idea to do something before you are "ready" you might never be ready. spontaneity is beneficial Now too late. 3 hours shopping, 1 hour grocery, and dinner and doing my hair. 7pm already.
SumGuy Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 2 minutes ago, Springsummer said: or am I too fuzzy and nitpicking? and pomp and circumstance? more the time lag between when you first started interacting and him asking to meet and how, not showing a lot of interest in you conveys that you could be just one of many and he's just after low hanging fruit...proceed with caution is my advice 2
Scarlett.O'hara Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 If I was free and wanted to have a coffee, I'd go. Two months of nothing but messages or gifs seems to suggest there might be a few nerves at play. Perhaps he was feeling a bit of confidence that day and decided to take the plunge so he didn't have time to overthink it. Not everyone has the confidence to meet new people off online dating. They want to but they are too nervous. I suspect that's why there are so many last minute flakes. I'm not suggesting that you make a habit of last minute dates. It's important to set good boundaries early on, but for a first meet, I'd go with the flow. It's up to you. 2
SumGuy Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 Oh didn't get this was today, like now. No way you should feel like you need to rearrange your day to accommodate this. If he gives you any negativity because it I'd take that as a bad sign. 2
Author Springsummer Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, SumGuy said: Oh didn't get this was today, like now. No way you should feel like you need to rearrange your day to accommodate this. If he gives you any negativity because it I'd take that as a bad sign. he said okie. Thanks all for the thoughts. I often clueless about things. No one thinks it has anything to do with respect..guess, I am too overthinking and suspicious. Edited January 27, 2020 by Springsummer
Author Springsummer Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 (edited) 27 minutes ago, Scarlett.O'hara said: If I was free and wanted to have a coffee, I'd go. Two months of nothing but messages or gifs seems to suggest there might be a few nerves at play. Perhaps he was feeling a bit of confidence that day and decided to take the plunge so he didn't have time to overthink it. Not everyone has the confidence to meet new people off online dating. They want to but they are too nervous. I suspect that's why there are so many last minute flakes. That's the best case scenario. Hope this is the case, not what I suspected. Probably he lost his nerve after the first time didn't work out. Edited January 27, 2020 by Springsummer
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 25 minutes ago, Springsummer said: he said okie. Thanks all for the thoughts. I often clueless about things. No one thinks it has anything to do with respect..guess, I am too overthinking and suspicious. My first post meant to ask how OLD are you two. I'm not sure this is about "respect." I just think he probably wasn't thinking that was anything too serious if you're using primarily gifs to communicate for 2 months.
Ellener Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 9 hours ago, Springsummer said: guess, I am too overthinking and suspicious. If it's just coffee I would have gone and seen what it's like in person. If you've been texting it may become a friendship, if you hit it off a relationship. But coffee isn't too deep is what I mean. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 A last minute spur of the moment request for coffee is not something I would have rearranged plans for but if you were at all interested in meeting him, I would have offered an alternate date, negotiated the mutually convenient time & place then gone about my weekend business 2
Ellener Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 4 hours ago, d0nnivain said: A last minute spur of the moment request for coffee is not something I would have rearranged plans for No, me neither, I always stick to my plans with someone else unless I'm ill or some emergency comes for someone. Plans by myself I'd have gone if I was in the mood. Saying that, I might not want to meet someone for the first time if I were about to colour my hair ( like today if I get around to it! )
NuevoYorko Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 I'm a fan of spontaneity. 2 months of GIF's I can't wrap my mind around. 4 1
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