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Posted
2 minutes ago, preraph said:

Can't see the most important things, your face and hair.  Women care more about faces.

Badly cropped I fixed it.

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3 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Not sure where you got this.  Sure they may reject you for all that, maybe one of those things alone is enough, maybe it is in combination.   But you mentioning all that undermines your argument it is all about looks.  Clearly it is not then in your mind (and in reality in my book).  If it was all about looks none of that would matter.

I will say some "having no friends" is not shallow.  It can be a red flag, and it also goes to a persons life style and personality.  People who are extroverts may not want to date an introvert who is perfectly fine with having no friends or staying in, and vice versa.   That's not shallow, that's compatibility.   

My point is even if they liked the looks they would then find something else to reject me for. SO its a game that can never be won unless you possess some voodoo like charm, which I don't have, sure I can tell it how I see but that's more a curse than a blessing, I don't do small talk that often and I tend to loose interest if there is no intellectual connection.

I never get passed the looks stage so even if I did there is enough other stuff which will have me rejected as fast you can say 1-2-3

Posted

I'm a guy, so take it for what it is worth, your face and hair seem fine...and even some women's type in my experience.   I can say you may be trim and tone, but hard to say.  If you are trying to get the women really into working out, they usually look for a guy living the same lifestyle.  Again in ZA not sure what the in shape culture is or how overweight people are etc.

 

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3 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

I'm a guy, so take it for what it is worth, your face and hair seem fine...and even some women's type in my experience.   I can say you may be trim and tone, but hard to say.  If you are trying to get the women really into working out, they usually look for a guy living the same lifestyle.  Again in ZA not sure what the in shape culture is or how overweight people are etc.

 

All I want really is someone fairly slim, that is all. What I don't want is someone extremely chubby or over weight. However it would seem my look HUGELY appeals to exactly those people.

Posted (edited)

Honestly, it's just too small to really see your face.  Kind of a funny expression, but again, too small of a photo to really tell.  I do think you might take NoSpam's hair advice and get a cut that comes down on your forehead some.  And again, small photo, so can't see details, but get a photo where you are smiling with some teeth showing.  

Edited by preraph
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Posted
3 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

My point is even if they liked the looks they would then find something else to reject me for. SO its a game that can never be won unless you possess some voodoo like charm, which I don't have, sure I can tell it how I see but that's more a curse than a blessing, I don't do small talk that often and I tend to loose interest if there is no intellectual connection.

Seems to me some very extreme thinking, and reaching for the unlikely instead of the likely.  They will always find something?  Voodoo like charm?   

There is a huge realm between offensive and voodoo like charm.    All of that is called personality, character, who they are.  Choosing someone based on that is the opposite of shallow, it's the very definition of looking for connection.  Your nature may just not be many people's cup of tea, in a perfectly fair way to them.

Anyway, you do know now how to attract women you find physically attractive.

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Posted
2 minutes ago, preraph said:

Honestly, it's just too small to really see your face.  Kind of a funny expression, but again, too small of a photo to really tell.  I do think you might take NoSpam's hair advice and get a cut that comes down on your forehead some.  And again, small photo, so can't see details, but get a photo where you are smiling with some teeth showing.  

I don't do those toothy smiles. I pretty much hardly ever smile at all. At the end of the day I cant change what looks back at me every morning I can choose to embrace it, like it and simply not care about women at all. Most have proven to be nothing more than superficial.

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1 minute ago, SumGuy said:

Seems to me some very extreme thinking, and reaching for the unlikely instead of the likely.  They will always find something?  Voodoo like charm?   

There is a huge realm between offensive and voodoo like charm.    All of that is called personality, character, who they are.  Choosing someone based on that is the opposite of shallow, it's the very definition of looking for connection.  Your nature may just not be many people's cup of tea, in a perfectly fair way to them.

Anyway, you do know now how to attract women you find physically attractive.

Not really because then face becomes an issue for them apparently. So there is no winning here. At the end of the day its simply, men line up and women choose, many men are desperate enough to sleep with any women who shows interested in them.

Ultimately I have caviar taste with bread budget.

Posted

This is just my assessment and I am just one woman. You are not an unattractive guy. I see some problems with that one photo though, (In my opinion) Your style of hair and clothes is very plain. Just about as plain as you can get. It doesn’t say anything about you at all. A white tee and some pants. You’d be amazed at what adopting some sort of fashion sense can do for you, whether it’s dapper or laid back. You seem like the intellectual type. who is attracted to the same. How about having your style reflect that? 

 

I also agree that that your hair would look better a bit longer. 

 

Another thing is that although the pic is hard to see, your facial expression doesn’t could be working against you. You look unhappy and not in a cool, calm way. But stressed out and uncomfortable. I find the facial expression and posing is really important on OLD, because it’s a huge indicator of personality. Yours isn’t the best in this pic. 

 

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Posted
Just now, ZA Dater said:

Not really because then face becomes an issue for them apparently. So there is no winning here. At the end of the day its simply, men line up and women choose, many men are desperate enough to sleep with any women who shows interested in them.

Ultimately I have caviar taste with bread budget.

Have women actually said it is because of your face?  I can see one's expression as a thing, someone who never smiles can be disturbing to some and in some cultures, of course the opposite is true.  Some women like the stern silent type look, others more smiling and outgoing. 

Posted

You look kind of uncomfortable . You don't look happy.  I don't think you ARE happy, so it's no surprised, but I think most people will want whoever they're seeing as a potential date to look happy to some extent.  So you might try showing teeth is all I'm saying.  If they're bad teeth, then get those fixed. 

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Posted

Are very plain* Sorry for grammar. 

Posted
2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

This is just my assessment and I am just one woman. You are not an unattractive guy. I see some problems with that one photo though, (In my opinion) Your style of hair and clothes is very plain. Just about as plain as you can get. It doesn’t say anything about you at all. A white tee and some pants. You’d be amazed at what adopting some sort of fashion sense can do for you, whether it’s dapper or laid back. You seem like the intellectual type. who is attracted to the same. How about having your style reflect that? 

Not a bad idea, but who is to say.  Once dated a former TV anchor, yes she was hot and all put together, actually a little too for my typical tastes but she reached out to me, a guy with basically blue collar dress in his pics, but nerdy intellectual stuff in his profile.

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Posted

I agree. There are exceptions and  the main issue I see is his expression. However, just putting  additional ideas out there to maximize ZA’s success. I know a lot of people identify their ‘clan’  and people they would match with through the way the are dressed/styled 

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Posted
5 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

This is just my assessment and I am just one woman. You are not an unattractive guy. I see some problems with that one photo though, (In my opinion) Your style of hair and clothes is very plain. Just about as plain as you can get. It doesn’t say anything about you at all. A white tee and some pants. You’d be amazed at what adopting some sort of fashion sense can do for you, whether it’s dapper or laid back. You seem like the intellectual type. who is attracted to the same. How about having your style reflect that? 

I also agree that that your hair would look better a bit longer. 

Another thing is that although the pic is hard to see, your facial expression doesn’t could be working against you. You look unhappy and not in a cool, calm way. But stressed out and uncomfortable. I find the facial expression and posing is really important on OLD, because it’s a huge indicator of personality. Yours isn’t the best in this pic. 

 

Well I dislike posing for pictures and I only did on this occasion because of the car which you cannot see behind me,. I like plain clothes, be thankful I used to wear these very baggy type clothes....which I was persuaded to move away from. Its amazing the persuasive power of a brunette model.

As far as pictures go this is a pretty good one of me, I think at any rate. I don't like long hair so wont be going with long hair. Unfortunately I have this uncomfortable look in every single photograph.

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6 minutes ago, preraph said:

You look kind of uncomfortable . You don't look happy.  I don't think you ARE happy, so it's no surprised, but I think most people will want whoever they're seeing as a potential date to look happy to some extent.  So you might try showing teeth is all I'm saying.  If they're bad teeth, then get those fixed. 

Yeah well that's a pretty good pic as far as I go. Those toothy smiles look even worse so I don't do them at all.

Posted

Well, teeth are fixable.  I mean, they're going to see them eventually.  

Posted

Your pic surprises me. I was expecting some fundamental flaw, as much as you complain about dating here - but you've got all the building blocks of a good-looking guy. What's wrong with you? I can't tell from the pic.

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Posted
14 minutes ago, preraph said:

Well, teeth are fixable.  I mean, they're going to see them eventually.  

I just don't like that sort of smile there is no reason to do it.

Posted

So you don't ever like the OLD women who smile either, right?

Posted (edited)

Plenty of people don’t like brushing their hair but they do it. Plenty of people don’t going to work but they do it. ZA, it’s been like 4 years (that I’ve known you) that you’ve been complaining about the same dating stuff but refuse to do much in the way of changing things, man. Glad you stopped wearing baggy  clothes, but I mean would you go out with a woman who had a sour look on her face in all pics? When we look at someone we want to feel like this is someone we would get along with and enjoy being around when we finally meet them. Your photo doesn’t evoke that. 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Plenty of people don’t like brushing their hair but they do it. Plenty of people don’t going to work but they do it. ZA, it’s been like 4 years (that I’ve known you) that you’ve been complaining about the same dating stuff but refuse to do much in the way of changing things, man. Glad you stopped wearing baggy  clothes, but I mean would you go out with a woman who had a sour look on her face in all pics? When we look at someone we want to feel like this is someone we would get along with and enjoy being around when we finally meet them. Your photo doesn’t evoke that. 

As I say I am beyond caring. They'd go out with me if I spent a fortune on something really fancy. The whole entire foundation of dating is superficial. I am yet to be proven wrong.

Well I dunno what you mean about enjoying, I'd fail at that too seeing as I am not fun so no a haircut I don't like wont really help much there will be some other reason or something else wrong. 

Nothing I ever did yielded a better return so I might as well be the person I want to be not the one I think that brunette at that coffee shop might like even if she were single which she wouldn't be because well she can pick any guy.

Edited by ZA Dater
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Posted

You say you're beyond caring, but you start thread after thread about it. 

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Posted (edited)

Well , nothing wrong with wanting a slim woman , especially if your in good shape. Personally l find it boarderline insulting when an overweight woman expects a guy in shape , and some kid of entitled bs to tbh, when she can't even be bothered looking after herself for him. l've even heard women say things like well what's the difference why does it matter if she's a bit over weight , ahhhhh, can't even begin to unravel that one.  But there's slim women anywhere that aren't beauty queens facially , tried women like that ?

Anyway , as far as looks , hair , clothes , remember , women change and try different things in all that stuff, all the time, because they wanna look nice and feel good. And there's nothing wrong with us doing the same, Or even for example changing her look and getting back into shape when she's leaving a relationship or marriage , they're famous for it. 

But eh , tell ya right now if you've got somem against smiling , your shooting yourself in the foot right there, big time.  And actually that's another thing women change to brighten themselves up, a lot of women go out of their way to be warm and friendly and a bit of fun with people even just in everyday life but hey , especially if they're on the prowl . No one's ever too keen on someone all serious and tight, but especially a lot of women.

 

Edited by chillii
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Posted
3 hours ago, ZA Dater said:

Correction ALL people start with looks.

I don't.   I start with a warm and genuine smile and am lured in with conversation. 

Anyway, I don't understand the point of your post.  Where is the sense in criticising women for doing the same thing as you do?

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