chadsconfuzed Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 Ok, I wouldn't be posting this if I hadn't been specifically told that updates are good, plus I think the idea of courtship by committee is just damn amusing. If you want to read up on the original situation, this link should take you there: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t70685/ Alright, the new stuff. tonight I sort of accidentally followed EB's latest advice, (not that I had chosen not too, I just hadn't planned it yet). Being hopelessly optimistic, I found the result somewhat intriguing. Since the conversation took place over MSN, I can actually give you a transcript, and I would be very interested to hear your thoughts. (as for my reactions, you have to remember that the question mentioned had been bugging me for weeks, and I don't tend to think before I type on MSN, usually) Me: Hey, you there? got a favor to ask ya Heather: what? Me: Do you know anyone else from our area that goes to my college? Me: specifically girls, who would probably know me Heather: y? Me: 'cause there's someone in there who recognized me the first day, and she's spoken to me a couple of times, and although she looks really familiar, I dont have a clue who she is Heather: what she look like Me: A little shorter than me, dark hair almost to her shoulders, a little extra weight, though not quite in the "fat" category . . . not narrowing this down much, am I? Heather: probly Danielle my best friend Heather: hold on i will put her pic up in my display Me: ty Me: OMG thats HER!!! Well, now I can at least call her by name. I fealt kinda guilty not knowing Me: How old is she anyway? Heather: 18 Heather: to bad she wont go for you ,lol Me: haha, whatever, I'm just glad I don't have to stand there like an idiot when she's talking to me Heather: whateva lol That was pretty much the entire conversation, as I've been trying not to pay her too much attention. In the meantime, just so I don't look like a fool who's been torturing himself over some flirt, I haven't just been sitting at home. I've been keeping busy with a female friend from High School, who seems somewhat interested in more, plus a friend at the college has set me up (ugh) with a few ppl he thought I might like. Nothing definate yet, but definatley fodder if I wanted to make someone jealous.
mixwell Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 Sounds like Heather is a little jealous ! by trying to say she wouldn't go for you.. and also saying whatever.. You never even mentioned anything about her going for you and Heather brought it up.. For sure I think she got jealous.. Good work !! haha
Author chadsconfuzed Posted October 5, 2005 Author Posted October 5, 2005 Thanks, thats exactly what I thought. But like I said, my optimism often makes me see things that aren't really there. So if I'm reading things right, then the advice I've got so far is working, what I sort of need now (other than second, third, fourth opinions, all are welcome) would be how long to keep this up, and what the next step would be. Should I see if she makes a move? If she does, how do I tell the difference between genuine interest and more of the same old attention grabbing?
Author chadsconfuzed Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 Anybody? I know this is probably different for everybody, but there must be someone who can give me an idea of what to watch for?
elijahBailey Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Hey Chad, I almost missed this thread. You shoulda continued with your previous thread cos the people who replied were automatically subscribed to that thread. but hey, your update's too funny :lmao: Something to laugh at and carry me thru this morning. But yeah, I agree with mixwell. And if you had your webcam hooked up with Heathers', there's a chance you could see smoke comin' out of her nostrils and ears There's no way I would see Heather as dating material. I've seen too many women like her. I mean, she's got a lot of growing up to do. You did mention you've got other girls to hang out with, so why don't you just let Heather be. you know that Danielle's Heather's best friend, and no way in he!! Heather's gonna risk the remotest chance of you hookin' up with Danielle (it would be war!), even though you've not indicated that you liked Danielle. I think Heather will probably bad-mouth you as a pre-emptive strike. But hey Chad, if you still want a chance with Heather, talk to her as normal as you can as if the MSN thingy never happened. Don't mention any other women anymore. Go back to flirting with her and give her your attention again. At some point, she'll ask you about her friend. Just be coy about it. If you get a chance, ask her out and see if she bites. If she doesn't, just ignore her. Whatever you do, DON'T ever act needy. Give her the impression that you'll do perfectly fine without her. Finally, If things doesn't work out, just give yourself a pat in the back and know that you didn't play by her rules.
Author chadsconfuzed Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 Ok, maybe I'm a glutton for punishment, but this has even crossed into the realm of intellectual curiosity. I get the not acting needy part, I'm pretty sure I've got that down, but should I really go back to what I was doing before? I'm likely to see her at a party this weekend, so I'll have a prime opportunity to follow any advice I receive, but this sounds . . . I dunno, like I'd be just starting the game over again.
elijahBailey Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 but this sounds . . . I dunno, like I'd be just starting the game over again. It sounds like this because it is Remember that when she first blew you off, you had zero chance. Then when you ignore her -> she's like.... WTF.... he's not supposed to. I'm supposed to string him along for my ego ride and he's not suppose to 'get it'. I'm not sure how to explain it, but you just have to see it for yourself. We don't want something until we lose it. Honestly, this applies to men and women. It's something that happens unconsciously. Ask yourself why she felt pissed (or even jealous). It sure ain't because she found you attractive from the beginning. She felt pissed because something she once had just got fished out of her purse, and women like her doesn't take that lying down. So, thinking that it's gone, she's out to get it back to prove she still can. I bet her worst nightmare now would be to see you going out with her friend. When you blow her off, your stock value just went up with her. You ain't no pushover no more. And the secret ( it's a secret cos some girls don't even know it ) is that women just like a guy they can't really control; even unpredictable. I think it's probably primal instincts. You repeat what you're doing, but things are very different this time round. This time round, she knows she doesn't have you on a short lease. She also knows you could live pretty darn well without her. Plus, this time round, if you show just a little interest in her, she might wanna find out for herself if she could get you back in her purse. Like I said, I would pass if I were you. But it seems like you really wanna find out what could happen, eh? I'm tellin' ya all this because this is what I see in some of the women I know. But, so what if you do get them? They're not marriage material. Then again, I guess maybe you aren't aiming for that
Author chadsconfuzed Posted October 7, 2005 Author Posted October 7, 2005 OK, I think I get what you're saying, definately something to think about. I know you keep telling me she's not worth all of this, and logically I know you are right, but I guess logic doesn't really come into play when you're the one in the situation. Despite my logic, I just can't keep her out of my head, so, yeah, I guess I'm gonna be stupid and try it again. You're right about that last part too, I'm 20 years old, if marriage were part of my plan at all, it would be pretty far down the line.
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