kendahke Posted January 26, 2020 Posted January 26, 2020 (edited) He's messy. Rich, but messy. He's grooming you, like he's groomed the supposed two other women into the stupor of being ok with being one of a number. He may be honest, but he's a creep--and money will let a creep get away with most anything with women who don't a problem sharing sloppy seconds. Edited January 26, 2020 by kendahke 2
stillafool Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 He didn't push you for sex because he has 2 other women he's having sex with so he isn't needy. I don't know why you would ask to be his friend. 2
stillafool Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 On 1/24/2020 at 6:06 PM, beentheredonethat77 said: He was very forward sexually with his words... and i could feel his masculine energy. When he was this forward about sex early on and sensed you like it, he probably thought you'd be a good fit for his harem. The way you described his work it seems he really doesn't have time for a relationship.
spiderowl Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 This guy appears to be using pick-up artist tactics - in fact you mentioned some of them yourself. Negging is one. He has just done another which is to say 'you are not the most important woman in the world to me but someone might be one day'. I think you are then supposed to compete to be that one. Furthermore, he has declined to have sex with you, thus showing you he is not needy for that - he can have plenty of sex so if you want him you are going to have to impress him and compete for him - all win/win for him. You saw through most of what he was doing and stood by your own values. This is a guy who will mess you around if you let him. You might be able to turn the tables on him and end up making him desire you more than the other women, if you used player tactics on him, but he does not sound worth it. He sounds quite creepy actually. So what if he is good-looking and successful? He needs to be a bit more than that to attract a woman who has self-respect and standards. He thinks his status will win for him - it might do with other women but good luck to them, what a creep! He wants to have his cake and eat it. I would leave him to it, if I were you. I doubt this guy will ever develop the empathy and respect that you really need from a guy. He's too self-centred and pleased with himself for playing games. 1 1
Author beentheredonethat77 Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, stillafool said: He didn't push you for sex because he has 2 other women he's having sex with so he isn't needy. I don't know why you would ask to be his friend. I think i mentioned being friends in the moment as i wanted to change the status of our relationship immediately -- from involuntary harem interviewee to something i had more control over - platonic 'friends'. We both know we're not going to be friends, i have real friends in my life and he has, god knows what he has, but it was just a polite sentiment as i didn't want to show aggression or let him label me as 'crazy and in love with him' or anything like that. I wanted to appear unfazed, poised and not stroke his ego, letting him realize that i didn't need to settle for that nonsense and also had options. In truth, i also thought he'd balk at this idea of being friendzoned, since he'd been so seemingly interested in me romantically up until that point, -- but he didn't, he took it in his apparent stride and said 'ok, sure'. Ouch.. this whole experience has been one big ouch.. lol. live and Learn -- thank you everyone for valuable insights --- some great input here. Edited January 27, 2020 by beentheredonethat77 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 13 minutes ago, beentheredonethat77 said: involuntary harem interviewee I had to google that phrase. zero hits.
Author beentheredonethat77 Posted January 27, 2020 Author Posted January 27, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, SincereOnlineGuy said: I had to google that phrase. zero hits. HAHA.. I'll trademark it then ..stat. Edited January 27, 2020 by beentheredonethat77 1 1
elaine567 Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 9 hours ago, stillafool said: The way you described his work it seems he really doesn't have time for a relationship. Maybe not, but he seemingly had plenty of time to schmooze the OP and keep 2 other women in tow too... 1
NomiMalone Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 (edited) 37 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Maybe not, but he seemingly had plenty of time to schmooze the OP and keep 2 other women in tow too... Some people just weren’t made to be monogamous and sounds like this guy is one of them. Don’t think he’ll ever find happiness in “eventually meeting a woman to become monogamous with” or however he put it. People like him should never marry - it’ll just cause a tonne of heartache for his wife and children if they have any. Edited January 27, 2020 by NomiMalone 1
stillafool Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: Maybe not, but he seemingly had plenty of time to schmooze the OP and keep 2 other women in tow too... Men will always find the time to get sex whether they want a relationship or not.
Blind-Sided Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 On 1/24/2020 at 6:54 PM, fishlips said: I think it's weird that he dates multiple women, yet doesn't want to have sex. What does he want exactly? ....... Same thing I'm looking for right now... just a little companionship. It's been a long while since I've been intimate with a woman, but I'm just not ready after 20 years with one girl. It feels great to just be out, and flirt. (Getting back into the game) It's kind of like foreplay. But then again... that's why I really appreciate some of my female friends who I've known for a long time. We can go out, and be ourselves without any pressure of a "Relationship".
kendahke Posted January 27, 2020 Posted January 27, 2020 2 hours ago, Blind-Sided said: that's why I really appreciate some of my female friends who I've known for a long time. We can go out, and be ourselves without any pressure of a "Relationship". Here's the huge difference in yours and OP's situation: Quote I said "well can we be friends then?' .. He said "sure, it will be hard because im really attracted to you -- but i'd rather do that than lose you from my life as i feel a connection... so friends it is! "... .. OP's guy sounds like the kind of guy who won't tamp down the attraction so that platonic friendship can emerge.
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