He's threatening me bc I won't see him

[LShalcy]

I met a guy outside of my job last summer (I’m a teacher). We only went out for around ONE month and after a few things occurred I decided I wasn’t into it. We lost touch for a few months but he recently started texting again asking me to come see him. I finally let him know that I wasn’t interested and he begins threatening me that he will be at my job tomorrow on purpose to embarrass me and call me out. I’m not sure how to attach pictures to the post or if that is possible on this forum but I have the screenshots. What do I do about this?! What does he think this will accomplish? I don’t really know what to do. My job would really be in jeopardy if he comes and makes a scene considering I work with kids. He has sent numerous texts saying he will be there and he’s going to make me regret not coming to see him. What to do? 

[Miss Spider]

Psycho. Tell him if he comes anywhere near you will call the police, then block him. Do not engage with him. Most likely he is just trying to scare you.  Keep everything he sent to you just in case. 

[Kballer]

That dude is a straight up POS! DO NOT have any further contact with him. Disregard what Cookie says... Your "call the police" ploy will only back fire on you and he will continue to harass you. Just STOP all contact with him immediately. Block him on all social media. Also, at this point, for your safety, tell a friend, or family member, what is going on. Give them his full name, and all contact information that you have. In case he does something stupid, you want someone to be able to speak on your behalf and explain to the cops what has happened. If you have a security department at your job-go to them tomorrow and explain to them what is going on.. Give them his name, phone #, picture, so that if he shows up at your job he will be immediately arrested. You don't have to tell your job any more than this guy is harassing you and stalking you and has threatened to show up at your job.. They will then be prepared for him should he show up.

Most importantly... You did nothing wrong.. This guy is just a psycho.. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Please keep us posted with updates.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I feel the same. Most likely just trying to scare you. You do have his number, his texts, and any pics of him? Keep all that. Also, does he know where you live? Be careful and if you are living alone, perhaps you should stay with friends or have friends stay with you? Family? A part of me feels that you should let him know that you have all this information and if he doesn't stop, you are going to the police with all you know. What do others think?

[ExpatInItaly]

Do not respond to him. Anything you say at this point will fuel the fire. 

Call the police and explain to them what you have told us here; give them the screenshots. They will let you know what to do next. 

[JTSW]

I agree with Expat.

Also inform your employer of what is happening just in case.

Don't respond at all and document everything.

Then do as Expat advised by giving it to the police.

[Redhead14]

9 hours ago, LShalcy said:

I met a guy outside of my job last summer (I’m a teacher). We only went out for around ONE month and after a few things occurred I decided I wasn’t into it. We lost touch for a few months but he recently started texting again asking me to come see him. I finally let him know that I wasn’t interested and he begins threatening me that he will be at my job tomorrow on purpose to embarrass me and call me out. I’m not sure how to attach pictures to the post or if that is possible on this forum but I have the screenshots. What do I do about this?! What does he think this will accomplish? I don’t really know what to do. My job would really be in jeopardy if he comes and makes a scene considering I work with kids. He has sent numerous texts saying he will be there and he’s going to make me regret not coming to see him. What to do? 

I would bring the evidence to the police station and document this.  I would also show it to your boss and human resources.  I would make sure someone walks you to your car after work and watches you leave.  And, I would stay with a friend for a little while.  Don't go home alone. 

[GeorgiaPeach1]

You should not mention this to your boss or human resources. Even though you've done nothing wrong, this situation will still make you look bad. Get in touch with the police, show them your evidence and see what they can do. Meanwhile, do NOT respond to any of his attempts at contact. Even asking him to leave you alone would be fueling the fire.

[2BGoodAgain]

stop contact w/him.

call police, if he shows up.

you are NOT at fault for someone going psycho.

[stillafool]

Block him from contacting you NOW.

[Gaeta]

I would go straight to the police with this. The fact you work with children they won't take that threat lightly. This is a clear threat to your security *do not take this lightly*. Someone made a threat like this to me over the phone and the judge sent him to jail and I was granted a restraining order for 18 months. These are no jokes. You know nothing of this man, maybe he has a criminal record, or a history of harassing and hurting women. Maybe he's done this to other women and they're just waiting for your complaint to pick him up. Be SMART!  This is 2020, this is 100% unacceptable!! and that clown needs to get with the program. 

[smackie9]

I think he's full of $%^&. I doubt he's going to go to all that effort and then get himself arrested. He's firing blanks at you. All he wants to do is make you feel uncomfortable/scared over text, and possibly on the net from he safety of him home. He's getting his jollies out of thinking about how this is making you squirm.

Police are going to do jack crap because it wasn't a threat of physical harm, violence, or a death threat. They know he's just a tool trying to get a rise out of you. Just block/delete and be done with it.

Edited January 21, 2020 by smackie9

[Gaeta]

33 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Police are going to do jack crap because it wasn't a threat of physical harm, violence, or a death threat. 

he’s going to make me regret not coming to see him

I call that a direct threat. 

These bozzos need to understand there are consequences for harassing and threatening people. I would hit him with everything I've got so he learns the lesson of his life. 

[Noproblem]

Tell him to go for it and come, you'll take a video of him and post it on social media so people get a good laugh.

physco!

 

[smackie9]

2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

he’s going to make me regret not coming to see him

I call that a direct threat. 

These bozzos need to understand there are consequences for harassing and threatening people. I would hit him with everything I've got so he learns the lesson of his life. 

He was going to "call her out in front of everybody. That's hardly a threat. He never said how she will regret it...by doing what? Cops won't bat an eye at this. Plus they will take into account this guy has never done anything to her in the past. I say he's blowing a lot of hot air and the cops are going to think that too.

[The Outlaw]

It's better to be safe than sorry but he sounds more like an entitled d*****bag that just didn't get his way. Block him for now on anything and everything. Don't involve the police unless you feel absolutely threatened and he does show up.   

[kendahke]

Go to your local police precinct and show them the threatening texts and ask them what can be done.

Then look into filing a PRO against him to make him stay away from you.

[preraph]

If he sent you evidence, Call the Police!!!  He's threatening you!  File a complaint.  

[preraph]

Yes, get a protective or restraining order after you talk to police. Please don't underestimate this person.  Hey, it's even possible the guy is on probation or something and just trying this might get him locked up.  Fantastic.

[Gaeta]

When I called the police on the threat over the phone I didn't think he would actually come see me at the office but I didn't want to take any chances. The police asked me to drop by the station to make a deposition. When I gave them the name of this man they alerted a team to pick him off the street right away. Turns out he had threaten other people, including a teen girl, and he was carrying hunting knifes on him. I knew nothing of that, to me he was just an ex employee who was frustrated and was making empty threats. He was MUCH more than that. If this guy had no history the police probably wouldn't have picked him up. What I am saying you don't know this guy, you're not the police. Call your local police and let them decide if he's a threat of not.

Edited January 21, 2020 by Gaeta

[smackie9]

19 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

When I called the police on the threat over the phone I didn't think he would actually come see me at the office but I didn't want to take any chances. The police asked me to drop by the station to make a deposition. When I gave them the name of this man they alerted a team to pick him off the street right away. Turns out he had threaten other people, including a teen girl, and he was carrying hunting knifes on him. I knew nothing of that, to me he was just an ex employee who was frustrated and was making empty threats. He was MUCH more than that. If this guy had no history the police probably wouldn't have picked him up. What I am saying you don't know this guy, you're not the police. Call your local police and let them decide if he's a threat of not.

ya they knew the guy, and he had a history that's the only reason why they did take action in your case. I still stick to my guns on this. This guy is playing mind games on her...he wants her to be freaked out and paranoid...like I said he's getting his jollies out of it. She can look into sure, but if they guy isn't in the system, he's not in there for a reason. IMO if he has any real signs of being a real threat he would have flipped out when they stopped seeing each other, and threatened her then. The guy is just being is dill. He can see that she's reading his text messages so he's gonna play it up as long as he can. If she was smart she should have blocked/deleted him instead of reading all those messages. She's letting him win.

Edited January 21, 2020 by smackie9

[preraph]

Remember that criminals escalate in their crimes, though.  They may start off bluffing and stop bluffing.  

[smackie9]

 I say there are more bull crap bluffing than there is actual threats. If he was for real he wouldn't have said anything and went right to her work or to her place without telling her if he was that seriously a criminal.

[Redhead14]

28 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

 I say there are more bull crap bluffing than there is actual threats. If he was for real he wouldn't have said anything and went right to her work or to her place without telling her if he was that seriously a criminal.

The question is:  How sure can we be sure that he won't act on his "threats"?  How lucky does she feel? How in the world does anyone know for sure what he would or wouldn't do "if he was for real".  He is clearly unstable just because of the fact that he is talking/texting like this.  A person in their right mind doesn't behave like this.  The risk is too great.  Report it.  Document it and make sure friends and family are aware of this. 

Edited January 21, 2020 by Redhead14

[kendahke]

OP--Do what makes you feel safe in your place of employment.

Everyone here will go on about their lives while you're left to deal with the aftermath of whatever he does unpack on you.

Even if all he does is stand outside and scream at the building about you--someone's child is going to be traumatized by it and you may be held to account for it, depending upon how backwards your school board is. When it comes to people's children, you don't know what can of worms they'll open up on you.