Jordan's thoughts Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 Waking up yesterday morning and going about my routine before work I would never have guessed to find what I found at my front gate as I walked out...My ex and her Fiancé were parked at my gate, I just Stood there for what seemed like hours but probably seconds before he hopped out and marched toward me... He had calmest but most rage filled face I’ve ever seen, I fully expected to be beaten half to death before he asked any questions but to my surprise he didn’t do that and initiated dialogue first.... HIM: Are u Jordan.. ME:Yes and who might u be HIM:I’m (my ex) ‘ s fiancé ME:Ok but why are u at my gate so early in the morning..? He explained that he learned my name thanks to my ex’s “drunken slip -up” at our Mutual friend’s birthday and thought she was cheating on him with me to which she strongly denied but still refused to give him my contact or any other information about me forcing him to get it elsewhere..... Once he got my address he purposefully told her he was going to confront me face to face and “get the truth” as he put it...He said he didn’t intend to bring her along but she forced her way into his car this morning and begged him not to do anything rush as I was innocent and of course he didn’t believe her.. At that point I told him very calmly that we were together once but she was unfaithful so I left her.. This whole time my ex was crying her eyes out in his passenger seat with hands over her face and honestly looking at her I felt nothing but petty for the mess she has created for herself.. He then informed me that along with her refusal to give him any information about me was the fact that she still used an old t-shirt and matching socks of mine to sleep in ( anime clothing) that made him believe she was cheating.(Oh and he discovered there were my old clothes from her kid brother) He told me what really made search for me as hard as he did was the statements she told the morning after the birthday... HIM ; Who is he My ex; No one important please just drop it. HIM: Seems like he is and I want a name. My ex: let’s please forget about it, I don’t want to cause him anymore pain than I already have. I told him there’s nothing going on between me and his fiancé but if their are having issues I suggest That couples counseling would help then I said my goodbyes and him to not approached my home unannounced again....
preraph Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 Wow. Well, that could have turned out for the worse. Sounds like he's not someone she can lie to, but it will probably also make her leave him if not now, down the road. 1
mark clemson Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 Seems like you handled that well, good job.
DKT3 Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 This is why I always say it's not the relationship or the partner that ever causes infidelity. Until your ex gets honest with herself and works out why she thinks cheating is an option chaos will always follow her. Secondly, she clearly hasn't dealt with the end of the relationship with you and isnt ready to be in a relationship let alone to be engaged. Good thing for you, no long your circus. 3
2BGoodAgain Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 good job. kudos. keeping your cool. oddly, i sympathize with her... it isn't easy realizing a fundamental life choice mistake and not getting over it... hopefully, she has closure someday.
Author Jordan's thoughts Posted January 20, 2020 Author Posted January 20, 2020 Thanks for the replies..I just find it So bizarre that she seems to be stuck In “ self- sabotage “ mode .I mean her fiancé Is a pilot, his the same race as her ( Her father didn’t support our relationship because I’m not white) and her father loves him apparently..And why she would reminisce To her fiancé Of all people about our relationship and how happy she was and how much she would like to go back to those days....Non of it makes sense to me..
Looking for a way Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 On 1/20/2020 at 6:27 PM, DKT3 said: This is why I always say it's not the relationship or the partner that ever causes infidelity. Until your ex gets honest with herself and works out why she thinks cheating is an option chaos will always follow her. Secondly, she clearly hasn't dealt with the end of the relationship with you and isnt ready to be in a relationship let alone to be engaged. Good thing for you, no long your circus. I concur with this statement clearly your ex has issues she hasn't dealt with And clearly isn't over your relationship as well... As a woman a married to a person of colour myself I understand the pressures and prejudices that come with it but that doesn't give her the excuse to cheat just as it didn't give me the excuse to cheat.. I am under the impression that she is with her fiancé only to please her father, in any case glad you handled it well..
simpycurious Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 On 1/20/2020 at 12:23 PM, Jordan's thoughts said: Thanks for the replies..I just find it So bizarre that she seems to be stuck In “ self- sabotage “ mode .I mean her fiancé Is a pilot, his the same race as her ( Her father didn’t support our relationship because I’m not white) and her father loves him apparently..And why she would reminisce To her fiancé Of all people about our relationship and how happy she was and how much she would like to go back to those days....Non of it makes sense to me.. You are better off without her Jordan. None of it will probably ever make sense to you. Count yourself fortunate that it's over and kudos to you for keeping your cool. I am certain that if HE showed up at my gate with a "rage filled face", the situation might have been different. 2
Author Jordan's thoughts Posted March 2, 2020 Author Posted March 2, 2020 On 2/26/2020 at 7:21 PM, simpycurious said: You are better off without her Jordan. None of it will probably ever make sense to you. Count yourself fortunate that it's over and kudos to you for keeping your cool. I am certain that if HE showed up at my gate with a "rage filled face", the situation might have been different. Thanks for the encouraging words and you are right I most definitely dodged a bullet, it just makes wonder if all this was to please her father in the first place because if that’s the case she’ll never be truly happy...
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