abc12388 Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 There's this woman I've gone out a few times with, although there's nothing official between us as we now live far away from each other. We've had several phone/video calls and texted back and forth, and I've definitely received many positive signs from her, especially whenever we met in person. And I think I've made my feeling clear to her, through all my actions, although I haven't said it to her yet. However, one thing that has been bothering me is her texting habit, which she has admitted in the past. There would be times when she would suddenly stopped replying or taking days to reply back. It's always significantly better when we're in the same city. This is making me confused and sad. Should I speak with her about this and how should I put it?
basil67 Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 Do you know if she's interested in a relationship with you?
Author abc12388 Posted January 19, 2020 Author Posted January 19, 2020 1 minute ago, basil67 said: Do you know if she's interested in a relationship with you? We haven't spoken anything about this yet, I've been thinking it's too early to discuss this. But either way the distance is making it tough for now.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 If she's taking days to reply back to you, I can almost assure you that she is not interested romantically. Just like men, if we ladies like you and are curious to see where things go, we aren't going to let days of silence pass. We wouldn't risk another woman catching your attention. The fact that she isn't that engaged in your communications is telling. How often do you actually see each other in person? What sort of positive signs have you gotten from her that she shares your feelings? I'm afraid you might be reading into it too much. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 You can ask about it since it bothers you but understand something important. Texting is meaningless. If all is well in person & on calls / videos, don't get hung up on the texting. You can't build a relationship through text / social media. You need in person contact. It's probably the distance that is making this awkward. She may not want an LDR. 1
fromheart Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 She's an adult who can't use a phone. They'll be problems in other areas, and you quite rightly have a bad feeling about it. I would end it.
Heatemyheart89 Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 (edited) I would Clarify your situation . I am a bad replier . I actually take longer to reply to people I care about as I want to say the right thing. I am probably the exception though . Edited January 19, 2020 by Heatemyheart89 1
kendahke Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, abc12388 said: the distance is making it tough for now. this right here is most likely the reason why--you can't conduct a relationship living in two different locations. It would be different if you two had been together for some time and one of the two of you had to relocate for a job, but this is you two starting out behind the 8 ball. 7 hours ago, abc12388 said: her texting habit, which she has admitted in the past. If she's already told you this is how she is, then either you accept this or find someone who lives closer to you. Any change she makes is going to be temporary--to quiet you down and then she'll revert to being the only thing she can be: herself. Exactly how far away do you two live from one another? Edited January 19, 2020 by kendahke 1
rjc149 Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 (edited) OP, has the deed been done ie. is this a sexual relationship? If no, then her interest is low. Women who are romantically interested will make you wait a bit before replying, but they won't go days without responding. That simply means you're not on her mind. If this is a long-distance situation and you haven't been intimate, then this is more of a fantasy for you, and less of one for her. If you are hooking up with this woman, then she may see this as a fling or something casual. She's responsive when she's in your city in terms of scheduling and meeting etc, but doesn't feel the need to maintain a connection to you when apart. I wouldn't approach her about it. That's needy behavior at this stage of your relationship, and needy men are extremely unattractive. If you were in a relationship, then yes, it would be within your right to communicate openly about some aspect of the relationship that bugs you. You need to start talking to other women, have options, and not give a f--k if she takes days to reply. Taking days to reply is disrespectful and you are tolerating it by continuing to pursue her. That's needy and it's probably turning her off. Have some self-respect. She takes 2 days to reply, take 2.5 days to reply back. Edited January 19, 2020 by rjc149
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 You say you are NOW living further apart. How far apart? Did she move back to her town of origin? It seems to me that she is less interested now that the relationship has become long distance.
K.K. Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 16 hours ago, abc12388 said: However, one thing that has been bothering me is her texting habit, which she has admitted in the past. There would be times when she would suddenly stopped replying or taking days to reply back. I hate this kind of thing. So rude. Even like ... friends who do this completely irritate me. Way to make me feel worse than I already do. Good job! 16 hours ago, abc12388 said: This is making me confused and sad. Should I speak with her about this and how should I put it? Nope. She will just imply that you’re a crazy psycho instead of looking at her own behavior of making people feel like trash for no reason. Ugh *triggered*
snowcones Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 Dear God, please do not bitch and whine to her about this. The last thing a single girl needs is another dude texting her incessantly. You may not know this but men love to text and it gets really irritating having so many men texting you when you just want something real in person in the flesh. If you live far apart, just let it go. She probably wants a man in person and not another text buddy. 2
Miss Spider Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 Im a bad texter and I’m guilty of this. But yea it’s most likely she just wants to keep it casual. You live in diff cities
The Outlaw Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 She may not be the texting type, but I really don't think anyone is that busy. She really isn't worth it in my book. 1
spiderowl Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 She might be showing interest in some ways but her texting shows you that she is not as interested as you. You are both some distance from each other so it is not practical to form a romantic relationship. She probably sees it as a casual thing and thinks you see it the same way. Unless you two are actually in a real relationship together, I would not complain about her texting. She does not owe you regular texts if you are a friend not a romantic partner. Despite saying the above, even if you are only a friend to her, she is rude not to reply within a reasonable time, unless of course you are sending her numerous texts. 1
Ellener Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 7 hours ago, spiderowl said: Despite saying the above, even if you are only a friend to her, she is rude not to reply within a reasonable time, unless of course you are sending her numerous texts. If I were her I'd politely say 'I don't have time for all these texts', not leave you waiting, but don't be sad for long, you two just aren't in synch with your lives, different cities & pattern of communication. Leave it for now maybe and look around you for a closer friend or relationship. 2
Redhead14 Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) On 1/19/2020 at 1:50 AM, abc12388 said: It's always significantly better when we're in the same city. Do you mean that she comes to your town occasionally and keeps in good touch then and when she goes home, she drops off with communications? If so, I'm thinking she's married and/or has a boyfriend. She may be like a sailor and has a guy in every port . . . Edited January 20, 2020 by Redhead14 1
smackie9 Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 Maybe she's hoping you will just give up because she's not into a LDR. 1
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