Letschill Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 I'm a musician. Most of my friends are musicians. We normally have girlfriends, or go on dates. Some of my friends who have regular jobs like financial manager, or office manager asked us why women like us so much. I never thought about it but now I'm curious as to why. So any ladies on here? Please explain why women date musicians.
kendahke Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) In a nutshell: because they think that the energy they see on stage is how that person is all of the time and they attach an expectation to that on-stage personna--and that musician isn't that way when they're off stage--they've got clay feet like the rest of us. The energy it takes to entertain live is not the same energy one uses to conduct ones self throughout the day. When I used to sing out and perform, I could literally feel my day-to-day, "full of stage fright" self recede as my stage personna takes over and does the gig. Once I was off stage, I was back to being my usual self, minus the stage fright until the day of the next gig. Edited January 17, 2020 by kendahke 1
PegNosePete Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 I would say it's a combination of many factors. - People who are on stage have confidence. Confidence is a very attractive trait. - People on stage are generally more well known (even if only for that night), and their perceived value goes up. People tend to like what others like. - Musicians are creative and perceived as more interesting than financial managers. 3
FMW Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 The creativity and focus required to be a successful musician translates to other areas, in my experience. I'm very much attracted to that "energy". Plus, I have a family background of musicians and play several instruments myself. Being with musicians is both comfortable and stimulating at the same time for me. And sometimes I am just blown away with particularly inspired performances Then there are the women who just like the surface charm of it all and the having the attention of someone who is in the spotlight and wanted by other women. 1
Rockdad Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 I have no clue to as why and we have watched it play out in front of us for years. One of our sons is a professional rock drummer and is out on tour both nationally and internationally. He will spend at 200+ tour days a year in a tour bus, Hotels then there is studio time on that yet. Why in the world girls want to try and have a relationship is puzzling. What is even more puzzling are band members that are married or even have kids. It never looked to be an easy life to me.
smackie9 Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) It's not always steady work, most I know are broke a lot, you work nights and weekends, you use your gigs as dates, travel out of town, have the occasional female pawing at you, the band comes first, there are always practice nights when you are not at a gig, very few ever make it big, blah blah blah. My husband went through a phase and played semi-pro, put out an album. It almost destroyed our relationship, but he wasn't playing when we started dating...this was about 4 years in. He finally quit and got his life in order. Why girls want musicians? because you are selling a fantasy. BUT reality kicks in and it all that ain't so $%^& hot. I know lots of musicians and too many are flakes lol. Maybe girls need to take the beer goggles off lol Edited January 17, 2020 by smackie9
LivingWaterPlease Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 (edited) Years ago I dated a rock star (full time, well known) for about four years (two years, broke up, reconnected fifteen years later and dated two years again). He had plenty of money, was good looking, very witty, and charismatic off stage., too. He was very kind and loving and I'm an emotional person so we connected very well emotionally and intellectually. I'm in a related career, yet both of us came from fundamentalist conservative backgrounds with fathers who were in the ministry. So we had a lot in common. We'll always love each other... Edited January 18, 2020 by LivingWaterPlease 1
preraph Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 I dated mostly musicians because I liked music as much as they did and music was my life style as well as became my career on the business end. I don't know about these days because I'm from the Golden age of rock and roll, best news contradicting earlier but back then you dated people you had things in common with and for me that was musicians. I also liked an artist or two and just creativity in general was what was stimulating to me. I was mostly only attracted to the musicians whose music I really loved. Sometimes that's the best part of them though. I never really considered marrying one because a lot of them weren't very responsible and of course they all had so much opportunity that you would have been deluded to assume they were being faithful. But that's who I loved being around and felt charmed by. 1
alphamale Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 well I am not a woman but I always thought that girls liked musicians because they are in touch with their feelings and they get some good drugs
MusicallyMrM Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 Great topic I find and it's somewhat unfortunate IMHO hat more times than not people buy into the stereotypes associated with musicians. a gregarious, outgoing, always confident facade. Always excitment and fun surrounds you and the fact that you perform on stage gives you that air of importance, success and adventure. Add the beleif that we are all blatently sexual and are dynamos in that respect. Dates and attractions are a sure thing for us right? It can be an enjoyable adventure however most of us aren't that way and tend to live more of a normal existance than thought of. The stories I could tell and some awful encounter I have had as a "musician" 1
LivingWaterPlease Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 Just wanted to add that the one I dated didn't drink, smoke, or do any kind of drugs. Not all are stereotypical as someone above posted.
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 (edited) I used to ask this question myself, but one day I was speaking to a buddy of mine who is in a band and it just dawned on me after he asked me "So what music have you been listening to lately?" In all my time on planet earth, I don't think I have ever had a conversation with somebody where I talked about what music I listened to. Everyone listens to music, it is such a common topic we all share, yet nobody really mentions it. I think what type of music you listen to is also an effective judge of your character to a certain extent. When you tell somebody what music you listen to, it is revealing, you are revealing a part of yourself to somebody in a way we don't normally do. Music is a universal conversation topic, I have never met somebody who avoids music. Edited January 18, 2020 by CAPSLOCK BANDIT the gram 2
basil67 Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 I asked Miss 20yo why she dates band guys and she said it's a bit of the bad boy thing. But CAPSLOCK is also right that she only dates band guys who play the type of music she listens to. (indie)
rjc149 Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 They are confident, pre-selected and typically at the top of their social circles, sensitive, in touch with their emotions, and someone who performs and entertains is usually very charming. He’s the ideal beta male, having social status but not necessarily the dominant, assertive resource-provider type. Women often vacillate between these artsy creative types and more classical “jock” alpha types throughout their dating lives. Once in adulthood, most women question the abilities of a professional musician to make a decent living.
thefooloftheyear Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 The same reason they date artists, clowns and felons/...Not necessarily the ones at the circus or the penitentiary....... Just idealism and romanticizing....They eventually wake up when the bills cant get paid and they see him as just another ball scratching schlub with no money in the bank little or no real ambition in life.. TFY
LuckyM Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 There are numerous answers. Consider: would you date a guy or girl if you did not like their music? Would you date a classical musician in an orchestra? I think not. Rock musicians are notoriously open to flings because the music is cool. This whole scene is about transferring the coolness of the music/and the artist to the musician or singer, then to the fan and finally to the heart throb woman (or man). The musician is perceived as cool and good looking under the lights, the object of everyone's attention, playing fun songs, and a good audience gets caught up in this. It's natural that at least one fan wants to meet and even go out with him or her. I sure would! I fantasize about the singer singing to me on a date, if she is single.
LivingWaterPlease Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 (edited) I don't know, Lucky. I didn't date the musician because of his music. It's not my favorite as I'm not into rock music. I didn't meet him when he was performing or really care about that aspect of who he is. I just liked him as a person and still do. He used to tell me, "You'd love me if I sold vacuum cleaners at Sears!" And he was right. We connect on a very deep level that has nothing to do with celebrity or performing. Edited January 18, 2020 by LivingWaterPlease grammar
preraph Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 (edited) I dated guys whose musical taste at least overlapped mine. It usually can't totally align. Like one also liked reggae and ska and I didn't care for it (as much as he played it anyway). Another had a dirty little secret of liking old school cry in your beer country in addition to his glam and punk proclivities. We only intersected in country on Patsy Cline. One was all into U2 and I wasn't. We all totally called out and ranked each other for our pitfalls in taste and got it right out on the table and had fun with it. Edited January 18, 2020 by preraph 1
LivingWaterPlease Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 (edited) Interesting, preraph...I've only dated the one musician and only went to one of his concerts. The music was good as rock music goes but I was bored being alone and waiting for him. It seemed like the show lasted forever. My ex H was also a musician with a recording contract while he was in college but it never panned out. He told me he never really was interested in a career in music, anyway. Once we were at a Letterman concert (most on LS prob don't even know who the Lettermen were, lol! Too long ago!), they called for an audience member to perform with them, our large group all stood up and pointed to him. He did go on stage, perform with them and was stealing the show so they had to get him off the stage, lol! True story that he went on stage with them and true story he was stealing the show, a born performer! Edited January 18, 2020 by LivingWaterPlease 1
FMW Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 I've been involved with two musicians, and have several as friends. I love going to gigs with them, even if I end up alone most of the time while they're playing - actually that can even be better, because then I can just concentrate on the music without someone trying to talk in my ear I almost always feel disappointed knowing the show's almost over. Being involved with a musician isn't JUST about the music for me, but it's absolutely a big bonus. 2
greymatter Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 (edited) My BF plays professionally though he has a completely unrelated, creative tech day job. His creative talents are very well diversified! Our musical tastes completely align and we were listening to a lot of the same music way before we even knew each other, going way back in time. That he is a very talented musician makes him even more fun to be with, and I've had an amazing time seeing him perform. He looks great on stage and super hot. One of his bands is currently working on an album in the studio. He also plays for me sometimes when we are hanging out at home which is like having my own private concert. I admire his musical talent a lot. It's one of the many appealing qualities that he possesses. Edited January 19, 2020 by greymatter 1
bachdude Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 (edited) First, there are many different types of musicians who specialize in many types of music. I can only speak to the classical music scene where I make my living. My experience with dating non-classical musicians was overall negative. Overall they didn't understand why I chose this career. They didn't understand my schedule. They didn't understand why I had to practice so much, why I would play a whole chamber music concert of Brahms and Beethoven for just an honorarium of pay, why I wasn't free on weekends much of the time, why I would run a chamber music festival for almost no pay, why I didn't have a 9-5 schedule, etc. etc... Back to the question...why do women date musicians? Because many just don't know any better or what they are getting into. They have this idea in their mind of what an artistic type is, thinking this is what they want, only to find out they have no clue about artistic types and that artists have their own set of values in life that conflict with the pragmatic and utilitarian values of the rest or society. Edited January 19, 2020 by bachdude 2
amaysngrace Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) I dated a musician for a while and he use to write me songs. He is an artist in many ways though. He can draw, he plays three different instruments, and he carved the tikis for the Beach Bar in Atlantic City. How can you not be attracted to someone so creative? Edited January 20, 2020 by amaysngrace 2
snowcones Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) Oooh great question! I've never been fortunate enough to date one, but they are attractive. What makes them attractive is that they are expressing their feelings through music in conjunction with being creative/ talented. What's not to love about that? At least for a woman. It's artistry. It is emotional passion. We love a man who can express his feelings in a creative way and make himself stand out due to his talent. He would be a colorful man in a sea of black and white men. Edited January 20, 2020 by snowcones
Kitty Tantrum Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 I would not date a musician. Emotion, expression, feeling, passion... I would not want a man who does those things for a living, or as a substantial part of his identity. I find it feminine. But I'm a bit of an anomaly, I guess, so it stands to reason that most women would dig that.
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