Pitbull lover Posted January 13, 2020 Posted January 13, 2020 Hello have not been on here for long time... my wife works for big company and she is COO and she has meetings all the time and that is a normal but what I have problem with is they have meetings out of town here and there . its not that far from where she works like few hour drive and when she do go to out of town meetings, she always go with other executive personnel with her. always same person who is a male and they ride together. he is not married but in a relationship. we are all in 40’s what I have problem with this is they seem very friendly to each other and they work very close everyday and she talks a lot about him to me how great he is at his job and how smart he is so on.... I asked her not to ride with him but she refuse and say it is work and nothing going on but she brags about him all the time and I know and seen her texting him quite often as well. i don’t snoop around her phone but I can see it on phone logs that his numbers on it a lot If meetings very early in the morning, she picks him up from his house and if meetings in the afternoon, they just leave together from their work to place they have meetings... my question is is this normal? Thanks
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 13, 2020 Posted January 13, 2020 I’m a single female and have a male co-worker that gives me lifts home, to work, to functions all the time. I’m his boss and he is married with children. There is zero going on... We talk all the time but it’s always about business and strategy. I don’t even know or care what he did over the Christmas break (and vice versa). We don’t even bother with polite small talk. If I were you, I would do a bit of snooping to see if their texts are personal at all. 1
Rockdad Posted January 13, 2020 Posted January 13, 2020 If it helps you I have a female employee and we have to work very closely on projects and do spend a lot of time with her. There is not a hint of anything going on, not even a thought or notion to not keep it professional. I am of the opinion people should not snoop. Certainly not when there is no waving red flags and flares shooting off.
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2020 Posted January 13, 2020 It's not abnormal. If she's blowing you off for him it's a problem. But if she's just ride sharing with him & working with him, try to relax. Do keep your eyes & ears open but try trusting her. If you harp on this you will send her running to him because he will seem balanced while you come off as paranoid.
MsJayne Posted January 14, 2020 Posted January 14, 2020 (edited) When you say 'she brags about him all the time', do you mean she's frequently telling you how great he is? Because if that is what she's doing then she needs to grow up and stop the crap. Driving to work together is smart, but regularly banging on about how fantastic some other guy is to your husband is actually a subtle form of abuse, it's like she's telling you how great he is but what she's really doing is sending a message that you're not so great. Next time she starts droning on about Mr Fabulous just cut her off and change the subject. I'd also start doing some very discrete checking up on her, because it does sound suspicious, though I'd be more inclined to think she has a crush on him and he's probably not the slightest bit interested. She needs a reality check before her lack of consideration for you causes a major problem. Edited January 14, 2020 by MsJayne add on 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 14, 2020 Posted January 14, 2020 These situations are not always innocent. Over the last 10 years, I have witnessed many affairs at work and even marriage breakdowns due to co-workers getting too close. That’s why I suggest snooping. Also, how realistically attractive is your wife? Men are driven by looks but if she is homely/overweight he is less likely to be into her. 1
fromheart Posted January 14, 2020 Posted January 14, 2020 4 hours ago, Eternal Sunshine said: These situations are not always innocent. Over the last 10 years, I have witnessed many affairs at work and even marriage breakdowns due to co-workers getting too close. That’s why I suggest snooping. Also, how realistically attractive is your wife? Men are driven by looks but if she is homely/overweight he is less likely to be into her. There's some truth in this, if she's young and hot then most men will be into her. But she may just see him as a friend. It comes down to whether you can trust your partner or not.
schlumpy Posted January 15, 2020 Posted January 15, 2020 You have every right to protect your marriage. Are you friends with any of her work associates so that you can get impression of her relationship with this guy when you aren't around? How much do you know about his relationship? Was that knowledge gained through your wife? If so, you need independent verification. Email is the first place to start. I think there is enough red flags here to proceed. You need intel or you are facing many sleepless nights.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 16, 2020 Posted January 16, 2020 On 1/13/2020 at 12:45 AM, Pitbull lover said: what I have problem with this is they seem very friendly to each other and they work very close everyday and she talks a lot about him to me how great he is at his job and how smart he is so on.... I asked her not to ride with him but she refuse and say it is work and nothing going on but she brags about him all the time and I know and seen her texting him quite often as well. i don’t snoop around her phone but I can see it on phone logs that his numbers on it a lot Riding together is a non-issue, I do it with people that work for me all the time. However, the above is reason for concern. Were it my marriage, I'd be collecting more information... Mr. Lucky
LuckyM Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 This is a very iffy situation...depending on how close you are with wife how long you have been married. Then there are women who are the extreme opposite! They will barely speak to a man about herself, nothing much personal, because they don't want any attention or lead the man on. It's annoying if you just want conversation, be friendly.
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