newbby Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 reasons for nc, are to get him out of my life for good. i could not have said that at any past attempts at nc, they were always tactical. now i have completely had it. i made the ending so bad that i know he will never chase me again and i am glad, because i want out, FOR GOOD. i am thoroughly committed to my own healing and strength AND MY LIFE at the moment and anything in my life that is a source of stress, is out.
izzybelle Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 hey all! i haven't felt the need to say much here since i'm a year out and i know you guys need the support of others who are currently going through what you're going through. i will say however, you're all doing great! stick with it, over time, the need, desire, whatever, to be in touch will lesson. he may always be in the back of your mind and there may always be some nagging what ifs but soon you'll find that there will be so many other things, and hopefully other people to occupy your thoughts. i still have my moments, especially when things are bad, to reach out to him for support. but then i remind myself that i can't, and won't, count on him. why should i? so i can listen to more lies? and although i'm still in touch with him sporadically, i find myself not believing a word that comes out of his mouth about anything. in some ways it helps. newby, like you, i made the ending so bad, on purpose, that i knew it had to be over. that he wouldn't come back and more importantly, it helped me to know that i didn't want him back. for me, forcing a bad ending was like taking some of the power back from him. stength to you all... it will get easier. every day, no matter how difficult it may be to get through it, brings you closer to your goal... moving on with your lives and leaving him in your dust! izzy
newbby Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 thanks izzy and support is always welcome. yeah, i was beating myself up about the way i ended it at first, then i realised that subconciously, i chose that. i want it over and that is that.
Author sooooohurt Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 that advice is brilliant i have written about 3 pages cried/laughed/felt extremely sorry for myself/felt guilty, but havent sent it........... Feel heaps better!!!!! Thanks guys:D
legrtova Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 My reason was that I finally accepted nothing was gonna change. After three weeks of constantly meeting anyway (no sex, just talk....about his wife:sick: ), I realized that I just kept getting hurt more and more. As much as I hate to admit it, we had no future. I made the first step to healing, and I am VERY glad I did. I feel so much better now because I know for sure it's over and I can start moving on. It sux, but it pays off at the end (I think? )
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