Felt the sting

[preraph]

But I would view posting that picture as someone who wants attention whether it's negative or positive. I would see it as a red flag that this is a person who is going to use illness or problems in the future to manipulate.

[mark clemson]

2 minutes ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said:

But do you really think she should be trying so hard to generate this man's interest?

Good point - no. MO, I meant to create general interest, no specifically to try to get the Divorced Dad guy interested. As suggested above, my thought is you should back burner him and in the meantime expand your horizons/seek elsewhere.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

54 minutes ago, preraph said:

But I would view posting that picture as someone who wants attention whether it's negative or positive. I would see it as a red flag that this is a person who is going to use illness or problems in the future to manipulate.

Posting the picture is not what I see as a red flag.  It is the vaguebooking that went along with it.  Posting a hospital pic with no explanation, just wanting to be asked about it. Big pet peeve of mine.

I have a friend who posts very detailed accounts of her health problems on Facebook, and some include her colon lol.  She has a lot of ailments, including breast cancer and Lyme disease.  She's a single mom who moved a few hours away from her family a couple of years ago to a vacation town, simply because she could (trust fund kid) and she has no "local" support really.  So she posts to unashamedly ask for support, good thoughts, etc.  I do not have a problem with this, although some probably would. But at least she's honest about it.  And, she's a very, very positive person who would be the first to support someone else.

[Gaeta]

11 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

Sure it is.  I wasn't looking for attention from him specifically.  But I found the best way to create hype is to post a car accident or hospital selfie.  People will come out of the woodworks.

Aren't you a little old for that though? I would expect that type off attention seeking from a 23 year old, not a mid-40 woman. On a side note, middle aged men would find that type of social-media-attention-seeking pretty juvenile and a turn off. 

[some_username1]

20 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Aren't you a little old for that though? I would expect that type off attention seeking from a 23 year old, not a mid-40 woman. On a side note, middle aged men would find that type of social-media-attention-seeking pretty juvenile and a turn off. 

Exactly this!

As a nearly 40 year old guy in the dating game there is very little that makes me despair more and turns me off quicker than a woman who is old enough to know better milking social media for attention or sympathy. As much as OP needs to give her head a wobble (she is in her 40’s if I recall) the issue is as much with wider society. Honestly, I swear women are dumber in their 30’s now than they were a decade or so ago thanks to the immaturity involved in competing for attention on the internet. When you see everyone else doing it it must make it tough to have your mind and not stoop to that level.

So please act your age OP, leave the manipulation of others using social media to kids who haven’t grown up yet. Take it from a guy that it’s deeply unattractive and also self-sabotaging.

[Miss Spider]

Okay MO, if that’s your shtick, you do you(my mom is a jokester and she put her colposcopy camera pics on the fridge lol) 

I’m just saying if you liked this guy, you wanna be attractive to him? Telling him and showing pics about you went to the hospital for a colonoscopy doesn’t evoke the most attraction. 

A guy might think you’re a cool and interesting person, but for him to want to date you, generally he has to find you attractive and sexy too. I wonder if you focus enough on being this 

[dramallama]

16 hours ago, mortensorchid said:

Then I texted back "We still a thing?" 

Eek! Cringe! But I know why you did it - frustration, annoyance etc.

His response:

I'm not very good at this am I? LOL  I think saying we're taking it slow is pretty accurate - if not an understatement. 

That's not really a 'YES' is it? And *definitely* an understatement. There's no real progress is there - you're not getting closer, seeing each other more, getting physical.... just stagnant with on and off contact.

I do like seeing you and spending time together albeit limited. 

I know he's saying he likes spending the small amount of time you have together, but there's a bit of a Freudian slip there - I like spending limited time with you.

However, how do you feel?

Argh, he'd already been non-committal and now you've backed him right into a corner. I find it goes better when you have the confidence to express your truth and let them respond. So I told my guy that if it gets to two weeks between seeing each other - that's too long for me, it feels too casual and makes me feel anxious. His response was that he felt exactly the same - and he went on to say more things about his feelings, having had some encouragement rather than an interrogation.

When I woke up this morning there was no response.  I texted him again :

Then should we go forward?

No response.  

I understand you want clarity and closure but did you expect a response from him after all his wishy washy behaviour? I agree MO that it's for the best to chalk this one up to experience and let it go. It's sad, but it's holding you back from meeting the man who IS going to meet all your needs and want to see you lots and be your partner.

 

[preraph]

Yes, it's the not putting what you're there for that is particularly attention-seeking, trying to fool someone into being worried about you.  If you put a photo and captioned it "About to have my colonoscopy," this is by no means a turn-on to anyone, but it doesn't send up red flags.

[Miss Spider]

Oh I only just now read that you didn’t initially put you were just having a routine procedure when you made the first post at the hospital. Not cool...