caputo77 Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 I (24F) went on a third date with a guy (25M) last night who I’m really into. All of our dates have been a blast and he has given me very clear signs he’s interested (initiates all the dates, texts me every morning, straight up tells me he loves spending time with me etc). We didn’t kiss on the first two dates which was fine with me because I wanted to take things slow. At the end of the second I could tell he really wanted to but kinda chickened out. So going into the third date I was positive the kiss would happen. We went out for drinks/dinner then on a really romantic walk through the city. We sat in a park and talked for a while at which point I thought for sure he would kiss me, but he didn’t. I really didn’t want to end the date without a kiss....so I invited him up to my place for a little while afterwards (which I’m now worried might have been too much but oh well). We cuddled on the couch for quite a while and he kept saying “this is really nice” but still no kiss. Granted, we weren’t in the best position for him to initiate one. It got pretty late and he said he had to go so I walked him to the elevator...at which point he pressed the down button THEN went in for a kiss. He gave me a very quick (like 2 seconds) slightly parted kiss and backed away. I must have been giving him “I want more” eyes and he gave me one more quick peck then the elevator was there and he said goodbye and left. He texted me after the date as usual saying he had a good time and whatnot and he seemed pretty physically into me most of it (holding hands, arm around me, hand on my leg). I’m not sure if he’s just trying to take things slow with me in order to not mess it up, if he was just nervous/tired, or if it’s a sign he’s not that into me. I’ll admit I don’t have tons of experience so I’m not sure if I was giving him enough signs that I wanted him to kiss me, but I feel like I was. I’m also not sure if he’s picked up on my relative lack of experience and is just trying not to scare me off (he did ask me if it was okay a couple times when he put his hand on my knee). I’m definitely overthinking this, but what are your thoughts? What is normal for a first kiss when dating someone new?
alphamale Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 how is he supposed to know when you would like the first kiss? since you set the limitation, you will now have to initiate the first kiss
Angelflower Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 One of my most memorable first kiss was as light as you described so don't discount that. It does seem weird though that by the 3rd date to be cuddling on the couch and holding hands and still no kissing... especially since you invited him in... usually by that stage it's more like necking.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 He sounds scared. But he's going to have to step it up soon or you'll most likely start losing interest, and this is natural. All you can do is continue to be receptive. I wouldn't make the moves. You want a guy who's capable of taking initiative. 1
max3732 Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 (edited) Not a dating expert, but as a guy who is a little more on the shy side it sounds like he's just nervous about the 1st kiss like I am. I just kissed a woman for the 1st time on the 3rd date and it was very light the 1st time, but I saw the "I want more eyes" and I kissed her a little stronger right after the 1st one. To me it doesn't sound like you should be concerned. Edited January 11, 2020 by max3732
smackie9 Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 Man that sucks! Guy is such a chicken. Just me but I never waited, I grabbed my now husband on our first date and kissed him lol. Anywho, it will happen. 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 Some people are really uncomfortable, inexperienced about kissing. I have dated a handful of women who were hideous kissers. It was a little gross.
Mrin Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 I've had four BIG relationships in my life. 2 of the 4 started off with cringe worthy first kisses.
Miss Spider Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 (edited) This would be way too weird for me . , I don’t know if I would have made it to date 3. You must really like him. I guess I would look at other things about him to see if it’s normal. Is he super shy and passive in general, are you guys super religious or something. I don’t know but 3 dates and a quick peck would be a insta nope for me regardless of the reasoning. Unattractive Edited January 11, 2020 by Cookiesandough
Lotsgoingon Posted January 11, 2020 Posted January 11, 2020 Yes he was scared. I don't see this as disinterest at all. I don't think he's comfortable "making a move"--sounds like he's putting too much pressure in himself and can't quite read your cues. You were cuddling and yet no kiss--that's strange. There are subtle (and not so subtle) moves that women make to indicate they want to be kissed. I'm guessing you're signaling interest, but he just doesn't have the confidence right now. I don't think this is a dealbreaker. I once had a woman tell me as we were cuddling or something ... "are you gonna kiss me?" That was finally enough of a clue for me to get past my cowardice and fear. I also once dated seriously a woman who just initiated and leaned in for a kiss. She was tired of waiting. You are not overthinking this ... HE is the one who is overthinking and thus hesitating.
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