heyitsmichele Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Hi I think if I was engaged i would definitely want to know If my fiance was cheating on me. Odds are if he is already cheating he will for sure give this woman a life full of grief. Shouldn't this be the happiest part of the relationship? Where everything is still fun and new?? This guy is prolly one of those grass is greener guys who always cheats. I would totally want to be saved from that life.
helena abadi Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 i agree with that. better to know before the wedding. imagine finding out afterwards? ouch. trust is Number One priority in a commited relationship. nothing else, apart from physical abuse, destroys a relationship faster or does so much hurt. infidelity makes everything you thought that was true about your relationship, seem a lie.
Ms. DysFUNction Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Since you weren't really a g/f but a 'friend with benefits', and he wasn't married yet... I think that, even if you do tell her, he'll almost certainly be able to blag his way out of it. Many women would just take that in their stride and ignore it, and let him 'get away' with it, believing you were just a 'thing' and he's ready to commit to them (which may well be the case). But I'm not one of those women. I'd want to know. So... Maybe you should pass on the information anyway. Anonymously (because I have a suspicion that it won't change a thing, and might just get you labelled all sorts of things). That way, it's up to her if she wants to ignore it. With Sami D.....Yes, We women need to stick together and not let men get away with such relationship crimes. She has the right to know, then she can make an informed choice on whether she really wants to spend the rest of her life him.
Sami_D Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Read this and then decide. You could save her a whole lot of pain. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t73059/
Hot Coco Posted October 20, 2005 Posted October 20, 2005 "I agree with Sami D. Why is it that we think that the third person shouldn't get involved in their marriage when one of the married people DID involve her in their marriage? It's like we treat the married couple like they have feelings and lives but the other person is treated like a non-person with no life and no feelings---and suddenly----no say in the trio. " I really don't get this. How was the W "involved?" She had NO say in your actions or MM's actions. NO you have NO say in their marriage. Everyone knows now that I had an EA. I can't IMAGINE saying MM's W is "involved." She knows nothing about it. Didn't consent to it. You act like the W gave MM permission to go out and fu-k you! The married couple DOES have feelings and lives. The differene is that they will have to deal with hose feelings and their life together and you will have to deal with yours apart from them. It's NOT a trio. You don't think that I think of myself as the outsider in MM's life. I AM. Just as he is in my life. We always even joked about it saying "How's things in your REAL life?" We accepted and acknowledged that what we had was only fantasy, fun and not REAL life like we have with our spouses and kids. I think you really need to accept that and maybe you won't make this mistake again. You should really leave them alone now.
helena abadi Posted October 20, 2005 Posted October 20, 2005 ok enough already. i just want to know what happens!! curiousity is killing me. women are so good at this - debating every detail to the nth degree. i wonder what men would do in the same situation (engaged couple, the fiancee doing the screwing around with another guy before the wedding).
Hot Coco Posted October 20, 2005 Posted October 20, 2005 That's an easy one, I think. The guy (OM) would walk away. He would not be calling the fiance' in my opinion. Men aren't as vindictive that way, in my opinion. And please don't bash me for my opinion. I'm a woman. I know how women can be. I can't even imagine a guy doing that, let alone even THINKING about it! They would just move on.
urbangoddess Posted October 27, 2005 Posted October 27, 2005 I was the other woman. He lied to me and told me that he wanted to be with me. He said things weren't working out with his live in fiance and he was trying to get out of it. It wasn't true. It really hurt. I decided to tell her, it didn't change anything. What I realized eventually was that I only wanted to break them up; to make him miserable like he made me miserable. When that didn't happen, I felt like a bigger fool. What you need to figure out is why you want to do this. If you think she deserves to know, then tell her. If you just want to hurt him, don't. You have to be prepared for him telling her that you are some psycho and her beliveing him. Keep in mind that I presented this girl with proof, and she still chose to believe him. And it doesn't feel good to expose your self and your business that way and then feel like he's just laughing at you.
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