Author Keeves1 Posted January 29, 2020 Author Posted January 29, 2020 2 hours ago, clia said: It's not abnormal to get a little sick of or irritated with a person if you've been around them nonstop for a long period of time. It seems like you two are spending a lot of time together for such a new relationship, which isn't always a good thing. Maybe try to cut back? You have plenty of time -- no need to spend every minute together all the time. Should I tell her that I’m sorry for ignoring her and that I needed space?
Author Keeves1 Posted January 29, 2020 Author Posted January 29, 2020 It seems like everyone could agree on one thing and that is normal to be a little tired of being with a person two weeks straight. We both drove each other nuts. So I have one more question: Should I tell her that I’m sorry for ignoring her and that it was not meant to be negative?
Daisydooks Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Keeves1 said: Should I tell her that I’m sorry for ignoring her and that I needed I would take this opportunity to communicate that you're sorry for ignoring her if it upset her and that you could also see you were driving her nuts so apologize for that. Do so in a joking way/playful way. Make it light and soft. Dont tell her "I need space because I can't stand the sound of you talking day after day." She will drop you like a bad habit. Haha Create healthy boundaries so this CANT happen. Tell her, I would love to spend Monday and Tuesday with you, but I have plans Wednesday through Friday. Creating boundaries is healthy. Dont tell her "I need space." Show her you need space by actually taking time for yourself. You dont need to say this. You need to behave this way. Simply stop being available for entire weeks on end. Do neither of you work or have friends? What did you even do for 2 weeks straight? Haha A lot of people want to spend all their free time together when they first meet. The mistake they make is they neglect all other relationships when doing so and forget the life they once had before this person came around. Foster and nourish proper relationships across the board by dividing your time among people you love, including her. Just because you like her doesnt mean you have to spend weeks on end trapped in a house with her though. That is a recipe for disaster no matter how good you are together. Edited January 29, 2020 by Daisydooks 3 1
fishlips Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 You got good advice from Daisydooks. Sure, tell her you were sorry that you ignored her, as that was kinda rude. But don't say "I need space." That sounds bad. You don't have to see her every day; in fact, you both need to have lives outside of each other. Do you and her live in the same city? 1
Author Keeves1 Posted January 29, 2020 Author Posted January 29, 2020 3 hours ago, Daisydooks said: I would take this opportunity to communicate that you're sorry for ignoring her if it upset her and that you could also see you were driving her nuts so apologize for that. Do so in a joking way/playful way. Make it light and soft. Simply stop being available for entire weeks on end. Do neither of you work or have friends? What did you even do for 2 weeks straight? Haha You give such a good advice Daisy. yes we both have jobs. She works in a kitchen store and have education as a graphic designer and interior design. Me on the other hand has two jobs. First job is at a fast paced grocery store (new concept here in Norway) and the second job is at the cinema. Me and Maria both had a week off so we thought it would be good spending time together. we actually did alot. We went to watch free movies because I work at the cinema, we tried to cook new food that we haven’t eaten before, we made cookies, watched riverdale marathon together, watched fifty shades marathon together, played soccer/football, we played basketball, we ate dinner with my littlebrother, we went shopping and we learned more about each other’s life as a childhood 1
Author Keeves1 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Posted January 30, 2020 14 hours ago, JTSW said: Yes but is it customary? Yes it’s normal here to bring something when you visit someones house. but should I also give her flowers on our anniversary this saturday?
Author Keeves1 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) Speaking of our first anniversary this saturday. Should I bring flowers to her? what is your opinion on that? Too much? Edited January 30, 2020 by Keeves1 Added another question
Author Keeves1 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) 19 hours ago, Daisydooks said: I would take this opportunity to communicate that you're sorry for ignoring her if it upset her and that you could also see you were driving her nuts so apologize for that. Do so in a joking way/playful way. Make it light and soft. I need to quote you back on that and I’m also having a second thought. She actually called me out for thinking negatively about people. I remember I traded one of my rare shoe to Yeezy and talked down on the guy I traded with. That’s when she said: «you were probably thinking negative of me when we first met. If she is still hurt my me ignoring her and I can see that then I would apologize on saturday Edited January 30, 2020 by Keeves1
clia Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 14 hours ago, Keeves1 said: Speaking of our first anniversary this saturday. Should I bring flowers to her? what is your opinion on that? Too much? First what? Haven't you only been together for a couple of months? 1
Author Keeves1 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Posted January 30, 2020 54 minutes ago, clia said: First what? Haven't you only been together for a couple of months? Yes it’s our first anniversary every month as we celebrate it because that’s when we got together. So the next would be 2th of March
Miss Spider Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) It’s too much, keeves. No wonder you’re already tired. One month is not a hallmark, really. It’s a little more than one week. Get her flowers if you’d like, but you should really only celebrate yearly anniversaries unless you’re still in high school. Edited January 30, 2020 by Cookiesandough 2
Author Keeves1 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said: It’s too much, keeves. No wonder you’re already tired. One month is not a hallmark, really. It’s a little more than one week. Get her flowers if you’d like, but you should really only celebrate yearly anniversaries unless you’re still in high school. Your suggestion is that we have anniversary every year? If I’m not mistaken Edited January 30, 2020 by Keeves1
Daisydooks Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 2 hours ago, Keeves1 said: That’s when she said: «you were probably thinking negative of me when we first met. Can you run by this again with what happened while you were ignoring her/not listening to her and how you acted towards her? What did you say about this guy? And why? What made you speak negatively about him? It can be a red flag and a turn off if someone I was dating was rude to me and others for no reason. Since she doesnt know you well, you're sending off signals you're rude and negative without reason. Also, why are you waiting to apologize? I figured you would have called her when we told you to say sorry!!!! Why have you waited???? If I hurt someone, and I know I've hurt someone, I literally call them immediately, or speak to them immediately and say I'm sorry for hurting them At this rate there may not be a Saturday. When you're a jerk, you should apologize, not wait an entire week and pretend everything is ok. You're all "I cant wait to see you Saturday" and she is sitting there rolling her eyes at you thinking "this guy is rude to me, to strangers, cant apologize and is completely ignorant." Bringing flowers wont fix it. Flowers without an apology when it is warranted means "forget what I said, forget how I acted, I'm not sorry. Shut up and enjoy some flowers." Gifts and flowers dont make things better to me My dad did that need to apologize when I was a little girl. He was an alcoholic and he often made really big mistakes where he either embarrassed me or treated me like crap, called nasty names and was generally a huge dick to me He felt money would change my view of him and this was his way of apologizing for poor behaviour. He felt I should forgive and forget because he'd buy me something I wanted She is upset because youre ignoring how rude you were when together, and then you were rude again to some guy you didnt know (I assume you didn't know this guy,) so she has doubts about how positive you were about her at the start. Why would she think otherwise? If I had to wait 1 to 2 weeks for a man to apologize, I would be angry at most everything he did until he apologized. Lol. Why havent you said sorry for your less than stellar behaviour? Why is she waiting until Saturday for an apology??! One thing that I looked for when I started dating again was how my new date acted around others. Was he nice? Was he kind? Did he immediately turn around and act like a jerk to someone they dont even know? Did he become rude as soon as someone turned their back? Were they nice to people serving us dinner? Things like that I looked out for because men can be nice to me, but hide their rude side quite easily at the start. After a little while, most rude men turn into rude boyfriends so I didnt want to wind up with someone who couldnt be kind to people and then would be unkind to me. Someone being completely rude to a stranger is a turn off. So she could be picking up signs you're not as sweet as you once portrayed yourself (like the night you brought gifts and met her grandma. That was nice. But then you started showing her you're not nice.) You are showing your rude side and she doesnt like it. Thats my guess. You CAN and should communicate to her and say "I really thought the world of you and had absolutely NO idea what I was doing when I first met you and I'm still learning. I am really sorry for being rude while we were together, and I can understand why being negative and rude about someone I dont even know would be a huge turn off to you. I'll be working on that." If you're outwardly rude to people, it is a red flag and a turn off. Add to that you cant even apologize in a timely manner so you seem ignorant to her feelings and cant apologize when you hurt someone. Is she wrong to question your true feelings at the start? How did you feel about her at the beginning? 1
Daisydooks Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 It gets a bit weird when you celebrate 74 month anniversaries. Haha Most people celebrate at a year. So my fiance celebrate just before Christmas every single year because we met and decided to be exclusive on December 23rd. We dont celebrate every 23rd that comes around. After 6 years, we would be working on our 74 month anniversary in February. Lol. So you see why month to month gets a bit weird. If its something she is excited for and has said she wants to do, put a smile on her face and do it. Dont go back on that and not do anything. You have talked about and she has shared her excitement with you over it, so going back on that now and not celebrating it's going to be a little bit weird to her and she might take that negatively. Dont let our relationships determine how you're progressing, but maybe once this anniversary is done, celebrate at 6 months and a year and then yearly after that?
Author Keeves1 Posted January 30, 2020 Author Posted January 30, 2020 UPDATE She were going out with her friend and stopped by my workplace to say «hi» I took the short time and apologized that I ignored her that day when I used my phone. she told me that it’s okay so everything is good. as for the anniversary it’s to late now and we both have decided that we will have it every month. 1
Daisydooks Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 33 minutes ago, Keeves1 said: UPDATE She were going out with her friend and stopped by my workplace to say «hi» I took the short time and apologized that I ignored her that day when I used my phone. she told me that it’s okay so everything is good. as for the anniversary it’s to late now and we both have decided that we will have it every month. Do what makes you guys happy. You're not hurting anyone by celebrating every month. So go for it. I am sure she really appreciated your apology and it was really nice of her to pop in and say hello 1
princessaurora Posted January 31, 2020 Posted January 31, 2020 To each his own. I have a friend who celebrates her sexiversary with her boyfriend every year and they've been together over 20 years. I can't even remember the exact date my now husband and I had sex for the 1st time!
Author Keeves1 Posted February 2, 2020 Author Posted February 2, 2020 (edited) Meeting Maria’s father on wednesday Hello. As you know from the title I will visit Maria’s father on wednesday. He lives with a another lady so I decided to bring wine and chocolate to both of them. He also offered us to stay the night but me and Maria will not share bed as it seems but I’m totally fine with that. everything seems to be ready but I’m probably going to be nervous that day. I do need help with one thing. that is.... what questions should I ask them? Edited February 2, 2020 by Keeves1 Corrected some mispelling (:
fishlips Posted February 3, 2020 Posted February 3, 2020 Just don't talk about anything controversial like religion or politics the first time you meet them. If they are open to meeting you, they won't bite. Music, movies, hobbies, sports, food...those are all "safe" topics to talk about. 1
Author Keeves1 Posted February 4, 2020 Author Posted February 4, 2020 (edited) Maria being rude On the bus to her place she asked me this: «Haven’t you noticed that I have been rude to you lately?» I told her that I haven’t noticed it and she said: «just let me know If I have crossed the line, then I won’t be rude.» It’s not that I’m whining about it. I can tolerate her being rude but I just don’t know as of why all of a sudden she was rude to me and I felt like she needed to explain. So I asked and her reason was: «I think it’s funny to be rude because of the reaction I get when you get annoyed» still for me I can’t be around her if she’s rude to me 24/7 and I made sure of it by telling her that she just needs to be careful to not cross the line Edited February 4, 2020 by Keeves1 1
fishlips Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 I wouldn't like it either, and I agree it isn't funny. You told her how it made you feel. Now it's up to her to stop saying hurtful things. If she still continues to be rude in spite of your asking her to stop it, you're probably better off finding someone who will be nicer to you. That's good that you communicated your feelings. 1
K.K. Posted February 4, 2020 Posted February 4, 2020 2 hours ago, Keeves1 said: Maria being rude still for me I can’t be around her if she’s rude to me 24/7 and I made sure of it by telling her that she just needs to be careful to not cross the line Hell yes Keeves!!! Good job!!
Author Keeves1 Posted February 4, 2020 Author Posted February 4, 2020 (edited) 16 minutes ago, fishlips said: I wouldn't like it either, and I agree it isn't funny. You told her how it made you feel. Now it's up to her to stop saying hurtful things. If she still continues to be rude in spite of your asking her to stop it, you're probably better off finding someone who will be nicer to you. That's good that you communicated your feelings. I can’t remember what she said that was rude but all I know is that I got a uncomfortable feeling after she admitted that she was rude and later asked me if I was aware. Iooking further up I think Daisy has been mentioning it by saying that being rude «throws» people off Edited February 4, 2020 by Keeves1
Author Keeves1 Posted February 4, 2020 Author Posted February 4, 2020 4 minutes ago, K.K. said: Hell yes Keeves!!! Good job!! Yeah I think that as well. Like I won’t break up with her just because she’s rude... it’s a silly reason. I could either be rude back or did what I did an communicate what I felt. XD 1
Author Keeves1 Posted February 4, 2020 Author Posted February 4, 2020 I also want add a little more of my thoughts. I hope she stops being rude but if that were to happen often then I’ll just leave her for 2-3 weeks.
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