lovebombornot Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 I am sensitive to this subject since I broke off a 7 year relationship with a man professing to love me to no end (and wanted to marry me very badly) but I learned that I believe he was a narc and I was definitely love bombed looking back. I am now seeing someone new for 4 months and want to be certain I'm not making the same mistake. I researched the issue and while I don't see many of the characteristics of love bombing I do see a few - namely: He said he loved me (after about a month or so) and hadn't been with someone like me ever in his life (and he's over 65 years old) - married and divorced twice but each marriage was 20 years and 10 years. He said I'm so kind and nice that he has never had before; and pretty and very smart - he can't believe his "luck" and wants to marry me when and if I'm ready (I've been a widow almost 10 years). He doesn't go over the top on gifts or stuff like that but writes and gives me a beautiful note (or 2) each time he sees me (on weekends since we live quite a distance from each other). He calls maybe twice a day and doesn't text too much (he works full time as a professional like me). He visits me on most weekends and I go to his place sometimes so we see each other most weekends. He does have other interests like golfing and fishing and keeps in close contact with all of his friends (talks to them frequently and sees them fairly regularly). I met his friends and they are all married for a long time and they've been friends for almost 40 years and seem to be really good people. I met one daughter and she is lovely and talked to the other one and she is really nice too. Never met his siblings - they live across the country and he's not close with them anymore. I don't know much about his divorces other than he realized the partner wasn't for him at that time. He really likes my adult son and keeps in close touch with him and seems genuinely concerned about his well being (he has a slight development disability). I'm introducing him to my family and friends this month so that should be interesting. Am I being too paranoid about this?
kendahke Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 You don't have to do anything until you're ready to do it. what does he say when you talked to him about his love bombing you?
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 I don't get the feeling he's love-bombing you. He's from a different generation when women were ladies and men were gentlemen. Seems likes he's "courting" you. 1 1
Mrin Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 Ya. Doesn't sound like bombish to me. More like he's a gentleman.
rjc149 Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 2 hours ago, lovebombornot said: he can't believe his "luck" and wants to marry me when and if I'm ready (I've been a widow almost 10 years). I'm 35 so I don't understand his generation of courtship, but I'm guessing he's from a time where being loving and giving at the beginning of the courtship was seen as sweet, not beta and needy. Girls these days get super creeped out and turned off if you bring them flowers on a date. But, maybe he's moving things along quickly because, and I hate saying this, but at 65, time ain't on his side. So maybe it appears as lovebombing, and maybe it is, but not because he's a narcissist snaring you into his emotional trap. With mortality looming closer, he's want to get this going. Dating in your 70's, I would imagine, isn't a thing. 1
smackie9 Posted January 9, 2020 Posted January 9, 2020 nothing to worry about. I would be more concerned if had never married and moved this fast...that would make him a player.
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